‘The Walking Dead’: King Zeke’s long shitty day.

The Walking Dead
“Some Guy”
November 12, 2017

Before heading out to kill them some Saviors, King Ezekiel gives his faithful subjects a rousing speech about how even though they are going to go murder some people — people who may not even be bad people — and even though not all of them are going to make it back alive, it’s all cool because they have to protect their way of life. And something about smiling.

And as we know from the previous episode, that didn’t exactly turn out great for King Zeke and his folks. Caught by surprise by a pack of Saviors guarding the weapons cache that Rick and Daryl were looking for in an entirely wrong outpost, the King’s subjects are mowed down in a rain of machine gun fire, a number of them throwing themselves on top of his body to save him.

I can't deal 😂😂😂 #twd #thewalkingdead #itsalwayssunny

A post shared by W. Alex Rosas (@w.alexrosas) on

But hey, it worked! King Z is fine! I mean, aside from a bullet wound to the leg, he’s alright! Also, aside from all of his former subjects rapidly turning into zombies all around him and beginning to shuffle slowly in his direction while he’s forced to drag himself slowly away, he’s all good!

Fortunately, one of his men also survived the attack and helps King Ezekiel to his feet, and everything is going swimmingly until One of His Men is shot through the back by a Savior hiding out nearby. This Savior, let’s call him 80s Glasses, takes over the job of dragging King Ezekiel to safety because he intends to bring King Z back alive to Negan as a trophy.

There is a lot of Evil Gloating and Foreshadowing from 80s Glasses about how he knows all about King Ezekiel and his tiger, somehow, and that without Shiva, King Ezekiel is nothing but a conman in a costume. At one point, King Ezekiel tries to take his sword back from 80s Glasses but is quickly knocked to the ground, where 80s Glasses marks King Ezekiel’s face with three smears of blood? (Is that supposed to mean something? Does that mean anything to y’all?)

Anyway, they eventually arrive at the gate to the outpost, which is padlocked. King Ezekiel asks for his sword back so that they can fight the oncoming shuffle of walkers together, but 80s Glasses is like, “Instead, I’m going to steal your coat to climb over this razor wire fence, and cut off your head to bring back as my trophy. Sure, Negan wanted to hang you from the Sanctuary fences alive, but your head on a pike will do just fine.”

ned's head game of thrones.png
Just ask Ned’s head.

But just as 80s Glasses is about to chop King Zeke’s head off with his own sword, Deus ex Jerry arrives and cleaves 80s Glasses in half with his battle axe.

King Zeke and Jerry fight off their former colleagues for a while, Jerry referring to King Ezekiel as “Your Majesty,” which King Z actively tries to discourage. They then turn their attention to trying to break open the padlock to the gate with Jerry’s axe, only to end up ripping the blade off of its handle.

So, that’s not great.

Meanwhile, Carol has managed to get inside the outpost where Carol does what Carol does best: unleash carnage.

carol-laughing-twd

First, she hides in a ceiling panel where she mows down a group of Saviors in the process of moving a bunch of machine guns out to the parking lot. However, she’s just one Carol, so when another batch of Saviors arrive and grab the guns, all she can do is follow them outside and make it difficult for them to load the guns into their trucks.

Shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting oops Carol runs out of bullets.

Carol “surrenders” promising that if they allow her to live, she’ll tell them where her friends are, and these dummies fall for it, sending one of their dudes over to her where she promptly takes him hostage and uses him as a shield when his buddies give up on him and begin shooting. And this is how Carol refreshes her weaponry, grab the keys to the outpost gates, and hits a button, opening one of the gates and allowing a shuffle of walkers in to eat most of the Saviors shooting at her.

As she closes in on the two remaining Saviors, she notices King Ezekiel and Jerry at one of the gates, and she chooses to help them rather than stop the Saviors, who drive off with some of the guns.

Oh, and Carol has a flashback-shadowing of King Ezekiel telling her before they left about making the decision to jump into Shiva’s enclosure to save her, and something about if you’re asked to be the hero, to be the hero.

eric true blood eye roll

Anyway, they make their way back to the Kingdom through the woods, with King Ezekiel yelling every five feet to “JUST LEAVE ME HERE,” and, “I’M SLOWING YOU DOWN,” and “LET ME DIE HERE ALONE IN THE WOODS.” Instead, Shiva leaps out of nowhere to protect them from walkers; promptly gets eaten.

rick tiger costume the walking dead
R.I.P. SHIVA.

Carol, King Ezekiel and Jerry make it back to the Kingdom where King Ezekiel has a sad.

Elsewhere, Daryl and Rick chase down the Saviors’ jeep with the guns in it. Rick manages to jump into the vehicle, stab the driver in the belly before crashing the jeep into a gully. But don’t worry, Rick’s totally fine!

thumbs up ok lean in

I am obviously VERY LATE with this so we will make it super quick. I didn’t watch this episode until about a week after it aired because reasons, and having seen everyone online 1. saying that it was a GREAT! episode and 2. mourning some character’s death, I was surprised to see that 1. it was merely an OK! episode and that 2. I did not give one fuck about Shiva’s death.

And 2. surprised me! Thanks to comic spoilers, I knew Shvia’s death was coming at some point relatively soon. But I don’t think it was that foreknowledge that left me “meh” about her heroic passing. Instead, because she was entirely CGI and therefore an expensive and rare presence on the show, she never felt like a fully fleshed-out character. Her death ended up being — at least for me — as impactful as Daniel’s in this episode. Who’s Daniel? Glad you asked! Daniel is this guy:

daniel the walking dead.jpg

… You know, that memorable character, “Daniel.” And Fun Fact! the actor who plays him follows me on Twitter. BUT I STILL COULD NOT CARE LESS THAT HE DIED.

Or Shiva! I just didn’t care that Shiva died! I wanted to care about Shiva! I was thrilled when she was introduced as a character last season! But then … bupkis. We got bupkis with Shiva.

I honestly cared more about Tabitha the Goat’s death than Shiva’s, and considering that Shiva was in like 5 times as many episodes, that suggests to me that this was a writing problem and not a me-lacking-human-empathy problem.

tabitha the goat the walking dead

You’re still missed, Tabitha.

The Walking Dead airs on AMC on Sundays at 8/9 p.m.

 

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