‘The Orville’: Zootopia

The Orville
“Command Performance”
September 17, 2017

OK, so this dumb episode.

Basically, Captain Seth MacFarlane gets duped into visiting some ship by a fake video of his parents. Except when he and Ex-Wife arrive at “the ship,” it’s really a trap and they are kidnapped and put in an alien zoo. And I have to say, as far as zoos go, it doesn’t suck: the cell looks exactly like their old apartment, they have comfy robes to wear and they get all the chocolate cake and booze they want. Is there someplace I can sign up to be abducted?

Meanwhile, because Bortus, the second in command, is busy hatching his egg — even though his partner, Klyden, seems to do fuck all around the ship and is an equally able warm body — Alara is made temporary Captain. Alara has a crisis of confidence and the entire episode is about her panic attack.

anderson cooper eyeroll

The Union instructs her not to try to save Captain Seth MacFarlane and Ex-Wife, but the crew wants her to try to save Captain Seth MacFarlane and Ex-Wife, and after being told that she sucks by her male colleagues …

you suck the orville.gif

… she decides to try to rescue Captain Seth MacFarlane and Ex-Wife.

And I see no problem with a man second-guessing a decision a woman has made — a woman who is his superior — and telling her that she sucks, and having that be the thing that makes the woman reconsider her decision and do the “right” thing. Nothing wrong at all with that messaging, no sir.

So Alara and the sassy alien go talk to the zookeeper who at first turns on a bunch of lasers in Captain Seth MacFarlane and Ex-Wife’s cell because LASERS!!!, but then agrees to exchange Captain Seth MacFarlane, Ex-Wife and some rando alien kid, for thousands of hours of reality television.

teresa table flip

Oh, and then Bortus’ egg hatches and it’s a baby girl. Yay! Except Bortus is all, “IMPOSSIBLE.” So, boo?

I’m going to go pour myself a drink.

The Orville airs on Thursdays at 8 p.m. on Fox and I’ll never forgive you guys for this.



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