As you well know, Saturday was Trump’s improbable 100th day in office, and to celebrate he gave a bunch of unhinged media interviews and held a rally to coincide with the White House Correspondents’ Dinner which he did not attend because he’s a huge fucking coward with the ego as delicate as spun glass.
When Trump wasn’t saying he “doesn’t stand by anything” and kicking John Dickerson of CBS out of his office for daring to ask him about his wiretapping allegations against President Obama:
Or complaining to Fox News that the media is GASP! covering the Russia story when the reporter asked him about getting Republicans to work with him on legislation:
DONALD TRUMP: Let me tell you something. So, I have approvals is in the high 40s, every network that you see, with the exception of Fox—Fox has been fair, but every network you see hits me on every topic, made up stories like Russia.
They do the Russia, the faux Russia, I call it “the fake Russia story,” Russia story was made up because the embarrassed—they were embarrassed by their loss. They had this tremendous loss, a loss like nobody has ever seen before.
The Democrats should never lose the electoral college because they automatically start with New York, California, and Illinois. It’s impossible for a Republican to win, and not only did I won, I won easily.
So, they made up this Russia thing to try and deflect, because they’re embarrassed by what happened. The Russia is a phony story, all you see is the Russia story, the Russia story. You see all of these other phony stories. It’s so bad, and for me to have a great approval records in light of all the faux press and the fake press I think is amazing.
Or asking a reporter why the Civil War happened:
When he wasn’t winning there, he was hosting another God damned rally to simultaneously salve his bruised ego and try to take attention away from the White House Correspondent’s Dinner. In fact, he admitted in the interview with John Dickerson mentioned above that he had intended to announce during the rally that he was throwing NAFTA in the garbage so that the Dinner would be ruined, but he was talked off that insanity by the Presidents of Canada and Mexico at the last moment. But that’s how petty and small he is: he was going to use TRADE POLICY to upset a DINNER PARTY THAT HE DIDN’T LIKE.
Anyway, Trump opened his rally exactly as you’d expect, attacking the White House Correspondent’s Dinner and its attendees:
As you may know, there’s another big gathering taking place tonight in Washington, D.C., did you hear about it? A large group of Hollywood actors and Washington media are consoling each other in a hotel ballroom in our nation’s capital right now. They are gathered together for the White House Correspondents’ Dinner—without the President. And I could not possibly be more thrilled than to be more than 100 miles away from Washington’s swamp, spending my evening with all of you and with a much, much larger crowd and much better people.
Trump went on to call CNN and MSNBC fake news and attack the failing New York Times in their “very ugly office building in a very crummy location,” for covering the election “so badly.” From the failing New York Times:
“They covered it so badly,” he said of the presidential campaign, “that they felt they were forced to apologize because their predictions were so bad.” The Times did not apologize for its election coverage.
And the crowd yelled “CNN SUCKS!” so you know, another day under the Trump administration, whaddya gonna do.
What was more concerning was on Sunday, White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus went on ABC’s This Week where he was asked about Trump’s tweet wanting to change the libel laws, which would require a constitutional amendment, is that what Trump meant? And Reince Priebus admits that it is “something [they] have looked at.”
THE FUCK? I mean, look, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we are in danger of adding a constitutional amendment to change the First Amendment so that Trump can attack those he perceives as his enemies — that (hopefully) is not going to happen. But the thing to be alarmed about IS THAT PRIEBUS FEELS COMFORTABLE SAYING THAT IT IS EVEN A POSSIBILITY. The fact that to ensure his job, Priebus felt the need to make this qualified statement about the President wanting to eviscerate the First Amendment — whether it is possible or not — should sound EVERY SINGLE ALARM BELL THERE IS. Who cares if Trump can do it, the mere fact he wants to do it tells us that he is a dangerous, unhinged maniac. This is unhealthy; this is wrong; this is an attack on our constitution; this is not normal.
The White House Correspondents’ Dinner happened, and Hasan Minhaj did a great job.
Here’s his full speech:
Elsewhere, Samantha Bee hosted her own alternative White House Correspondents’ Dinner, which featured a very special guest star:
And yesterday morning, Samantha Bee had ZERO TIME for Jake Tapper asking her if she is the face of “the problem,” i.e. smug liberal America.
Finally, in honor of Trump’s first 100 days, Late Show with Stephen Colbert takes a walk down memory lane. Careful, you might twist your ankle:
In Other TV News
Ryan Seacrest was announced as Kelly Ripa’s new co-host to a collective, “Eh, sure.”
Some asshole hacked Netflix and stole the entire new season of Orange is the New Black and tried to extort ransom from Netflix in exchange for not releasing it. Netflix told them to get bent and this asshole released the episodes. The hacker also claims to have material from Fox, ABC, IFC and National Geographic. Be a good person, don’t watch them.
The Last Ship has gone on hiatus so that Eric Dane can seek treatment for depression. Get better soon, and thank you for being honest about your condition.
Congratulations to all of the Daytime Emmy awards, including Park and Recreation‘s Jerry who somehow won for his appearance on The Bold and the Beautiful.
The writers’ strike could happen tonight. Feel sorry for soap writers if the writers’ strike is to happen — they have a really shitty job ahead of them. And here’s what it would mean for your other favorite shows if the strike happens. The good news is that it sounds like the AMPTP is making an effort to get closer to the writers’ demands.
Aziz Ansari is threatening to not make a third season of Master of None which I find wholly unacceptable.
Gordon Ramsay is opening a Hell’s Kitchen restaurant and the only question is what took Ramsay so long?
If the title Dear White People hurts your feelings, you need to stop.
Steven Moffat doesn’t know who the next Doctor is SO STOP ASKING HIM ALREADY.
30 Rock’s Kenneth very nearly had a cameo in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt but didn’t in what is a completely preventable tragedy.
IMPORTANT: DID THE WU-TANG DEPART? I NEED TO KNOW THIS IMMEDIATELY.
Game of Thrones‘ The Mountain helped the Vikings announce their draft pick and I don’t give two poops about the NFL, but that’s pretty great:
The producer of Imaginary Mary says that there are “more stories to be told.” Oh, sweet baby, no.
A Jeopardy producer answers all the questions you’ve ever had about the game show, including how to do well. Tip #1: don’t go up against Ken Jennings, amirite, Whitney?
Megyn Kelly is probably interviewing the Kardashians for her new series, so that’s great.
We are edging ever closer to the networks’ upfronts where they will announce their fall seasons.
- The CW is close to buying all 6 of their pilots and are really excited about the Dynasty reboot
- The Craig Robinson-Adam Scott comedy Ghosted is doing well at Fox
- Losing It, a Jon Cryer comedy, is getting good word from ABC
- At CBS, the Alan Cumming drama Instinct has good buzz
- And military drama For God and Country is doing well at CBS
- Zach Braff’s comedy Start-Up is doing well at ABC
- The S.W.A.T. series is doing well at CBS
- The Sackett Sisters, Tina Fey’s new comedy, is heating up at NBC
- The new Marvel project is said to be a lock at Fox
- Black Lightning is promising at The CW
- Ghosted (Fox)
- Untitled Marvel (Fox)
- Rise (NBC)
- The Sackett Sisters (NBC)
- 9J, 9K and 9L (CBS)
- S.W.A.T. (CBS)
- Untitled Marc Cherry (ABC)
- Start Up (ABC)
- Black Lightning (CW)
- Dynasty (CW)
House of Cards, Netflix, May 30
Twin Peaks, Showtime, May 21
Fear the Walking Dead, AMC, June 4
Episodes, Showtime, August 20
Wrecked, TBS, June 20
Descendents 2, Disney Channel, July 21
- DROP EVERYTHING: There is talk of a Prince reality series.
- Roseanne is the newest series to be revived. Roseanne Barr, Sara Gilbert and John Goodman are all signed up, the rest of the cast are in the process of signing on. Networks are currently bidding on it.
- Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles is getting closer to becoming a series.
- ABC has bought Echo Point, a time loop mystery series from an executive producer of Edge of Tomorrow.
- Ion Television has bought detective series The Detail.
- So, The Gong Show revival is going to be hosted by someone named Tony Maitland who is definitely not Mike Meyers under a ton of prosthetics.
Warning: This Drug May Kill You: A look at four families who have been devastated by the opioid addiction epidemic. 8 p.m., HBO
Lucifer: Hey, the Devil is back. 8 p.m., Fox
Jane the Virgin: Jane gets a taste of her own medicine when the hot piece she’s dating is waiting until marriage. 8 p.m., The CW
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Goldie Hawn, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Brian Reed, Mary J. Blige Late Night with Seth Meyers: America Ferrera, Ike Barinholtz, Josh Dion The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Chris Pratt, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Ryan Adams The Late Late Show with James Corden: Joel McHale, Jake Johnson Jimmy Kimmel Live: Dr. Mehmet Oz, Kings of Leon Conan: Kevin Nealon, Chuck Todd, the Zombies The Daily Show: Jon Favreau, Jon Lovett, Tommy Vietor Watch What Happens Live: Naomi Watts, Susan Sarandon
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|CBS||Kevin Can Wait
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