This will surprise you guys, but Donald Trump hates PBS.
Among many other devastating cuts, Donald Trump’s brutal budget would eliminate all funding to The Corporation for Public Broadcasting. The cuts will hit rural PBS affiliates (and Trump voters) the hardest, and in fact, the cuts threaten the only television station in one region of Tennessee — a literal lifeline for some residents who do not have enough money to pay for cable.
In this dark video, Sesame Street‘s Elmo learns that he and his friends have been fired by Trump:
Stephen Colbert returns to take on the Trump budget and is the hero we need now.
“Donald, the ratings are in, and you got swamped! Now you’re in the 30s. But, what do you expect? I mean, to take away after-school programs for children and Meals on Wheels for the poor people? That’s not what you call making America Great Again. Come on. I mean, who is advising you?” The Trump-Schwarzenegger beef will never be squashed. Long live the Trump-Schwarzenegger beef.
In other political TV news:
Soooooo… Trump claims that he was wire tapped by President Obama in a series of unhinged tweets, as I’m sure you remember. Then, when everyone is like, “Uh, no, that definitely did not happen,” Judge Andrew Napolitano went on Fox News and claimed that Obama actually had British intelligence tap Trump. Then Sean Spicer repeated this claim in a press briefing, and the British intelligence agency was like, “TALLYHO, WHAT’S THIS? CRUMPETS AND TEA, THIS MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT HAPPEN.” Then Trump was asked about all of this, and he was all, “Go talk to Fox News.” And then Fox News had to be all, “We never said that British intelligence spied on Trump for Obama, some random guy said that.” And now Judge Andrew Napolitano has been disinvited from Fox News indefinitely. Good job sparking an international incident over nonsense, everybody!
Tonka Lozenge has been suspended from The Blaze because she dared to say on The View that she is pro-choice. On the one hand, I loathe Tuna Looper, but on the other, does she have no right to her own opinions on certain issues? I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO LOOK RIGHT NOW.
Ivanka Trump is being sued by rival clothing companies over Kellyanne Conway BREAKING THE DAMN LAW by pushing her clothing line on Fox News.
Here’s Alec Baldwin teaching a kid how to do his Trump impersonation:
More late night takes
In his discussion of the Comey hearing, Seth Meyers compares Hillary Clinton to Arya Stark and he is not wrong.
In one of the most surreal moments of this Presidency so far — which is saying A LOT — Trump live-tweeted and LIED during the Comey hearing, and Comey had to refute it during the same hearing. IS THIS REAL LIFE?
If only Trump’s behavior could be explained away because he was drunk and NOT A COMPLETE SOCIOPATH.
James Corden presents “Donald: The Musical”:
In Other TV News
John Oliver asked you to just add zebras, and you complied.
Dave Chappelle says that watching Key & Peele “hurt [his] feelings,” and yeah, but, dude, you’re the one who walked away from Comedy Central, so …
The Carmichael Show is going to use the word “nigger” some six times in one episode because “‘n-word is childish” according to Jerrod Carmichael. I know of at least one group who will be clutching their pearls about this.
The Parents Television Council is worried that Saturday Night Live might drop F bombs during their primetime airings, and while that’s unlikely, it’s not impossible.
Speaking of Saturday Night Live, this timelapse video of Kate McKinnon changing from Jeff Sessions into a blobfish mermaid in under four minutes is a reminder that the real talents at SNL are the crew:
Y’all, in anticipation of the reboot, Netflix has added 20 classic Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes including Manos: The Hands of Fate and Santa Claus Conquers The Martians.
Hey, now you can make your favorite Bob’s Burgers burgers:
Our sympathies are with Modern Family star Rico Rodriguez, who lost his father recently.
- The Big Bang Theory has been renewed for two more seasons. Bazinga or whatever.
- Shut Eye has been renewed for a second season on Hulu.
- Ricky, Nicky, Dicky & Dawn has been renewed on Nickelodeon.
- It hasn’t been renewed — yet — but Bull is changing showrunners for season two. If season two happens. Which it probably will.
- J.J. Abrams is turning RuPaul’s life story into a dramedy, YAAAAAAAS.
- Rob Lowe and his sons are going to hunt ghosts and bigfoot on The Lowe Files, a new reality series on A&E because that just makes sense.
- Kevin James is going to have his own Netflix standup special because everyone has their own standup special on Netflix. I’m pretty sure I have my own standup special on Netflix at this point.
- Netflix is probably going to join the BBC supernatural project Requiem.
- Spring Breakers is being turned into a series for a new digital platform called Blackpills.
- There are only three shows whose fates are up in the air at The CW: No Tomorrow, Frequency and The Originals, but things are looking good for The Originals.
- Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders is not looking great at CBS.
- Time After Time is all but doomed over at ABC.
- Fox will probably renew Last Man on Earth.
- Trial & Error and Taken are only looking so-so for NBC.
- Penelope Cruz is going to be Donatella Versace in Ryan Murphy’s American Crime Story, even though Lady Gaga is RIGHT THERE.
- Colin Farrell is your new Oliver North.
- Peter Sarsgaard is joining the cast of The Looming Tower, Hulu’s drama series about the World Trade Center disaster.
- Elizabeth Perkins, Madison Davenport and Chris Messina are joining the cast of HBO’s Sharp Objects.
- L. Scott Caldwell (Rose from LOST) is joining the cast of The Trustee, ABC’s drama pilot.
- Timothy Spall is joining the cast of Amazon’s Philip K. Dick’s Electric Dreams.
- Khandi Alexander is joining the cast of Instinct, a CBS drama pilot.
- Richard Schiff is joining the cast of The Good Doctor, ABC’s medical drama pilot.
- Omar Metwally is joining CBS’s Jenny Lumet drama pilot.
- Poppy Montgomery, David Giuntoli and Peyton List (the star of Frequency which has not been cancelled just yet) are going to co-star in Mission Control, CBS’s drama pilot.
- Tommy Flanagan is joining the cast of Redliners, NBC’s drama pilot.
- Jay Harrington has joined the cast of S.W.A.T., a CBS pilot.
- Christina Ochoa will star in The CW’s military pilot, Valor.
- Rochelle Aytes is joining the cast of Doomsday, ABC’s drama pilot.
- Elaine Tan is joining ABC’s pilot, Salamander.
- Glynn Turman is joining Brothered Up, CBS’s comedy pilot.
- Kimmy Shields and Irene Choi are joining Insatiable, The CW’s beauty pageant drama pilot.
- Marley Shelton and Casey Johnson are joining NBC’s pilot Drama High.
- Carlos PenaVega has joined the cast of Life Sentence, a CW drama pilot.
- Derek Gaines is joining the cast of Relatively Happy, the NBC comedy pilot.
- Jay Karnes, Simone Kessell and Grant Harvey are joining the cast of The Crossing, an ABC drama pilot.
- Sharif Atkins is joining the cast of Amy’s Brother, a Fox comedy pilot.
- Brian Stokes is joining the cast of Perfect Citizen, a CBS drama pilot.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: The ladies visit a Buddha. It does absolutely no good. 8 p.m., Bravo
Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas & The Age of Spin: Hey! Here are two new Dave Chappelle specials for ya. Netflix
New Girl: Let’s just get to the part where Nick and Jess find their way back to each other already. 7 p.m., Fox
The Descent: If you haven’t seen this little horror movie about a caving expedition gone terribly wrong, here’s your chance. 8:35 p.m., ShowCase
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jessica Chastain, Joe Manganiello, Gary Clark Jr., Prodigy Late Night with Seth Meyers: Dax Shepard, Hannah Simone, Hey Violet, Charlie Benante The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Ryan Reynolds, Josh Lucas, Andy Daly, Green Day The Late Late Show with James Corden: Allison Williams, Darren Criss, the Band Perry Jimmy Kimmel Live: Dave Chappelle, Naomi Scott, Weezer Conan: Reese Witherspoon, Nick Swardson The Daily Show: Dahlia Lithwick Watch What Happens Live: Erika Jayne, Meghan McCain
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