KICK HIM TO THE CURB.
I’m not going to tear apart Trump’s address to Congress last night. Despite what it seems, this is technically not a political blog. I try to limit my complaints here about our President to his attacks on the First Amendment, and last night he managed to not threaten the media for a refreshing change.
However, I, unlike many cable news commentators, am not going to give him a fucking gold star for reading off a teleprompter and not shitting the bed. I AM LOOKING AT YOU, VAN JONES. Leaving aside the fact that in that clip Jones is mistaking being presidential with using a widow whose husband died because of Trump’s utter incompetence as a political prop…
… leaving THAT grossness aside, it’s alarming to me that the media that has been so vilified by Trump clearly wants to prove their impartiality by praising him for not acting like a complete lunatic last night. THAT IS A REALLY LOW BAR, GUYS. TRY HARDER, Y’ALL.
As Andy Richter succinctly tweeted this morning:
Yesterday I chose to not post Jon Stewart’s appearance on Monday night’s Late Show with Stephen Colbert. I was planning to hold it in reserve for Trump’s next unwarranted attack on the free press, which should be coming any minute now.
But as it turns out, Stewart’s harshest comments in this segment were directed at the media, urging them to stop chasing after their abusive boyfriend Trump. It’s turns out it was eerily prescient and I was right to save it for today considering the media’s falling all over themselves to call Trump presidential after one adult performance:
As for Stephen Colbert, he did his show live last night so as to respond to Trump’s address immediately:
In Other TV News
Game of Thrones might not be returning until SEPTEMBER. Ohmygod, I’m not going to make it.
In other premiere date news: The Wizard of Lies, the Bernie Madoff movie starring Robert DeNiro, is going to debut on HBO on May 20; and Netflix’s GLOW will debut on June 23:
AND WAIT WAIT WAIT, RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE IS MOVING TO VH1? It returns on March 24th, and my mind is blown.
Simone Biles, Nick Viall, Nancy Kerrigan, Mr. T and ERICA GIRARDI/JAYNE !!!!! are going to be on Dancing with the Stars this season. How to reconcile my hate of Dancing with the Stars with my straight-up love for Erica Jayne …
Y’all, we’re going to get our first glimpse of Saul Goodman in this season of Better Call Saul.
Feud, Ryan Murphy’s new anthology series, is going to take on Princess Diana and Prince Charles next. Better brush up that British accent, Sarah Paulson.
They haven’t renewed The Big Bang Theory yet, in part because maybe the cast is trying to get a pay raise for Mayim Bialik and Melissa Rauch, going so far as to take a pay cut themselves? (Someone’s P.R. team deserves a raise for this story, by the way.)
As Fear the Walking Dead returns for season three, our families will be brought together in the vibrant and violent ecotone of the U.S.-Mexico border. International lines done away with following the world’s end, our characters must attempt to rebuild not only society, but family as well. Madison (Kim Dickens) has reconnected with Travis (Cliff Curtis), her apocalyptic partner, but Alicia (Alycia Debnam-Carey) has been fractured by her murder of Andres. Madison’s son mere miles from his mother, Nick’s (Frank Dillane) first action as a leader saw Luciana (Danay Garcia) ambushed by an American militia group — the couple escaped death, but Nick no longer feels immortal. Recovering both emotionally and physically, Strand (Colman Domingo) has his sights set on harnessing the new world’s currency, and Ofelia’s (Mercedes Mason) captivity will test her ability to survive and see if she can muster the savagery of her father.
L.A. Reid and the Smash folks are working on Cotton Club, an “event” music series for Fox.
STOP ASKING DAVID BOREANAZ IF A BUFFY REUNION IS GOING TO HAPPEN. IT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.
YouTube would like you to subscribe to YouTube TV for $35 a month, please. Related: the number of TVs in American homes is declining for the first time ever.
- ALERT! CASEY WILSON IS GOING TO CO-STAR IN THE SACKETT SISTERS, OMG.
- Jenna Fischer is going to star in ABC’s divorce comedy pilot, Splitting Up Together.
- Rita Wilson and Archie Panjabi are starring in the Fox pilot that used to be known as Controversy.
- Anson Mount (Hell on Wheels) will star as Black Bolt in ABC’s Marvel’s Inhumans pilot.
- Shemar Moore (Criminal Mind) and all of his abs are going to be the star of the CBS pilot S.W.A.T.
- Kim Cattrall is going to be the POTUS in the Swedish crime series Modus.
- Jon Rudnitsky (Saturday Night Live) is going to star in the NBC comedy pilot Relatively Happy.
- Mary Holland (Blunt Talk) is joining Household Name, the Carol Burnett comedy pilot.
- Antonio Jaramillo is joining the cast of Mayans MC.
- Sean Teale (Incorporated) is going to star in the Fox Marvel pilot with Stephen Moyer.
- Antwon Tanner (One Tree Hill) has joined the cast of Epix’s Get Shorty reboot.
- Hannah Ware is joining the NBC drama pilot Redliners.
- Lyric Lewis is joining NBC’s high school comedy pilot from Seth Meyers.
- Lyndon Smith and Ben Shenkman have been added to the cast of the new Shondaland legal drama.
- Noah Mills is joining NBC’s For God and Country.
- Kamal Angelo Bolden is joining the cast of Chicago Fire.
- Maurice Compte is joining the cast of Power on Starz.
- CBS’s summer series, Salvation, has added Shazi Raja and Rachel Drance to the cast.
Conan: Conan goes to Mexico to talk to our neighbors about what a pendejo Trump is. 9 p.m., TBS
National Treasure: This is a British series about the downfall of a politician after he is exposed in a sexual scandal. How quaint. Hulu
Chicago Justice: The Chicago universe is going to expand until it engulfs everything. Series premiere. 9 p.m., NBC
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jennifer Lopez, Jeff Probst, Depeche Mode Late Night with Seth Meyers: Amy Schumer, RuPaul, Panic! At the Disco, Vinnie Colaiuta The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Patrick Stewart, Chris Colfer, Roy Wood Jr. The Late Late Show with James Corden: Hayden Panettiere, Shirley MacLaine Jimmy Kimmel Live: Alec Baldwin, Luke Evans, Tuxedo Conan: Mandy Moore, Jimmy Pardo, Chris Lane The Daily Show: Jake Tapper Watch What Happens Live: Lisa Kudrow, Jennifer Beals
|When We Rise