In all sincerity: Thanks, Obama.

Stephen Colbert — that Stephen Colbert — returned last night to thank President Obama:

In Holy God, We’re Actually Inaugurating This Creep News:

Let’s start with Seth Meyers’ take on the Inauguration (“Get Me My Lawyer” = Perfection.):

The night before the Inauguration, Trump spent the evening bitching about the media some more. “‘I made a speech tonight at the Lincoln Memorial, in front of all of those people, and all of those live television cameras – I can’t stand them,’ Trump said tonight at an inaugural dinner with campaign donors.” It’s going to be a long four years, my friends who are part of the free press, stay strong.

CNN had to remind its employees that they can’t march in the Women’s March tomorrow. That’s alright, guys, just keep up the good fight from your jobs.

Donald Trump’s obsession with ratings (and why you shouldn’t watch the Inauguration or anything associated with it): a history.

Here are some friendly suggestions of what you could watch instead of today’s inaugural coverage. And here are some programs that are deliberately trolling Trump today.

OH SNAP: Facebook restricted Russia Today’s ability to post on the site until after Trump’s inauguration.

The Directors Guild of America are investigating threats made to their members for covering the Inauguration. Yeah, that’s not cool. Covering something does not equal condoning it.

Spike Lee has cut a song from his new Netflix series because its singer chose to perform at the Inauguration. Spike Lee does not play around, y’all.

Enjoy your NOVA and Frontline now while you can:  Trump wants to privatize PBS, and eliminate the National Endowment for the Arts and the National Endowment of the Humanities altogether. (Also fun but completely unrelated to television, he wants to cut some 25 violence against women grants.) And those particular cuts to the arts will save us .016 percent of the total U.S. budget.

Holy hell, some reporter for a CBS affiliate tried to ask if “Pizzagate” really is fake news in a five-minute segment just this week.

tina-fey-liz-lemon-30-rock-youre-all-fired

Alec Baldwin, American hero:

House of Cards chose today to announce the date for its fifth season, appropriately enough:

And now as a palate cleanser, Danai Gurira, the badass Michonne on The Walking Dead, argues that women can’t just march and organize, we must run for office.

We can run for office and we can win — this has been proved time and time again. So we do not lament. We run. We don’t commiserate. We run. We don’t express fear and trepidation about the coming years. We run. We stand on the shoulders of the giants who paved the way. We are not back to zero. We are at the moment when we prove that we were built for such a time as this. We are at the moment when, to break through as women, as “others,” and as those who desire to progress, we must strategize to bring about a new government — a time when we show young girls that their voices do matter by making sure that our voices are in the rooms that matter.

In Actual TV News:

We have our first glimpse at Feud: Bette and Joan. I can’t wait for March 5th. That is as long as we’re all still on this planet by March 5. HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?

ABC became the first broadcast network to premiere a show at Sundance, and that show was the one with the talking dog, I shit you not.

Sneaky Pete has been picked up for a second season over on Amazon.

Jane Lynch is your new Janet Reno.

The wife from Masters of Sex is your new UnReal “Suitress.”

LOL, someone started a GoFundMe page to “free” The Bachelor‘s Corinne’s nanny.

If you were looking to read a story about the creator of Crazy-Ex Girlfriend being potty trained, today’s your lucky day.

Netflix will not be saving your Girl Meets World, I’m afraid.

Here’s a trailer for I Don’t Feel At Home in This World Anymore, a movie for our times that will stream on Netflix:

In Development News:

There’s a black-ish spinoff in the works that sounds an awful lot like A Different World.

ABC gave a pilot order to Deception, that illusionist-turned-FBI-agent series.

ABC also gave a pilot order to The Crossing, a sci-fi war drama set in the future.

NBC gave a pilot order to For God and Country, a military drama.

A&E is rebooting Cold Case Files and Danny Glover is going to narrate.

R.I.P.

Miguel Ferrer, actor in Twin Peaks, NCIS: Los Angeles, Crossing Jordan among a thousand other things. He also is George Clooney’s cousin. We could use Albert Rosenfield’s speech at the 2:20 minute mark today more than ever.

America: July 4, 1776 – January 20, 2017.

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Hawaii Five-0: A murder suspect heads to the sovereign lands of the Nation of Hawaii.  8 p.m., Friday, CBS

Frontier: Jason Momoa running around in furs. What more do you need? Netflix

Real Time with Bill Maher: Listen, I am not a huge fan of Bill Maher, but he really gets under Donald Trump’s disgusting orange skin, so I can think of few better people to watch on Inauguration Day. Season premiere. 9 p.m., HBO

The Inauguration: Stock up on booze and tissues, it’s really happening. 9 a.m., ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, FOX NEWS,

SATURDAY

Beaches: The remake of the Bette Midler/Barbara Hershey movie that nobody asked for! 7 p.m., Lifetime

The Conjuring marathon: The Conjuring 1 & 2, but not that dumb doll movie because who needs it. 7 p.m., Cinemax

Saturday Night Live: Aziz Ansari & Big Sean. 10:30 p.m., Saturday, NBC

SUNDAY

Hunted: In this new game show, teams try to evade professional investigators for a big prize. Welcome to Trump’s America! Series premiere. 9 p.m., CBS

Secrets of the Six Wives: In this new series, a historian looks into the lives of Henry VIII’s wives. Series premiere. 9 p.m., PBS

Mercy Street: Season premiere. 7 p.m., PBS

Late Night: Jimmy Kimmel Live! (Friday): Anthony Anderson, Ruby Rose, Travis Scott The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon: (Friday): James Spader, JoAnna Garcia Swisher, Kevin Delany The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Jim Gaffigan, Cristela Alonzo, the Avett Brothers The Daily Show (Friday): Joy Reid Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Nene Leakes

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Last Man Standing
(new)
Dr. Ken
(new)
Shark Tank
(repeat)
20/20
(new)
CBS Change and Challenge: The Inauguration of Donald Trump
(new)
Hawaii Five-0
(new)
Blue Bloods
(new)
CW The Vampire Diaries
(new)
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
(new)
Local
FOX Rosewood
(new)
Sleepy Hollow
(new)
Local
NBC Grimm
(new)
Emerald City
(new)
Dateline NBC
(new)


SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC NBA: Spurs at Cavaliers
(live)
News/Local
CBS Ransom
(new)
48 Hours
(repeat)
48 Hours
(repeat)
News/Local
FOX Lethal Weapon
(repeat)
Star
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC Figure Skating: U.S. Championships
(live)
News/Local Saturday Night Live
(Aziz Ansari & Big Sean)


SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(repeat)
To Tell the Truth
(repeat)
To Tell the Truth
(repeat)
Quantico
(repeat)
CBS AFC Championship
(live)
Hunted
(new — PREMIERE)
FOX Son of Zorn
(repeat)
Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
The Simpsons
(repeat)
Son of Zorn
(new)
Family Guy
(repeat)
Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
Local/News
(new)
NBC Dateline NBC
(new)
Ted
(new)
Advertisements

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