A ‘Dancing With the Stars’ contestant will soon be in charge of the U.S.’s nuclear materials.

Governor Goodhair (Molly Ivins™) is going to be the head of the Department of Energy, despite the fact that it’s an agency that he wanted to eliminate when he ran for President and despite the fact that he couldn’t remember that it was an agency he wanted to eliminate when he was running for President and never mind that his predecessor is a FUCKING NUCLEAR SCIENTIST and Governor Goodhair’s last job was facing off against Vanilla Ice on Dancing with the Stars. But who knows, maybe his time on Dancing With the Stars can tell us something about the man who will soon be in charge of our nuclear weapon and reactor programs. Related: OH MY GOD WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?

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Let’s laugh through our tears:

Here’s fun: at a Wisconsin Trump rally — because yes, he’s still doing post-election rallies, but he’s too busy to receive intelligence briefings — the crowd began chanting “CNN SUCKS! CNN SUCKS! CNN SUCKS!” And I’m not saying that CNN doesn’t sometimes suck — like that time they hired Trump’s disgraced former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski, that sucked — but accurately reporting on Donald Trump does not make CNN “suck.”

And of course our reality show president should have a reality show contestant sing at his reality show inaugural. That is one of the few things that actually makes sense anymore.

“It’s sad. I’m still so heartbroken over it. It feels like the death of America. The America that we have all fought so hard for, the narrative of love and peace and liberty and equality, it feels like it is dead.” RuPaul, I feel you.

Lena Headey should know from a dangerous megalomaniacal leader:

While we’re on the subject, here are some Game of Thrones spoilers regarding Sand Snakes, if you’re interested.

Here are the SAG nominations. Netflix cleaned up this year!

Mike Judge will receive the Animation Lifetime Achievement Award by the Writers Guild of America but he should be receiving some sort of ESP award for writing Idiocracy.

So, apparently there is an Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. web spinoff, Slingshot, and you can watch the whole thing right here:

We are pretty sure we know who the Joker is on Gotham and yes, it’s that kid from Shameless.

Speaking of: William H. Macy supports Emmy Rossum in her fight for equal pay. GET IT, GIRL.

Here’s your first look at Harriet Tubman on Underground. It returns to WGN on March 8.

Piers Morgan called Madonna and Lady Gaga liars for claiming that they have been raped in their pasts. Cool, cool, what a very cool guy. So cool.

It’s been a busy 24 hours in the TeeVee business:

Cancellations:

Renewals:

Ratings real talk:

TNT is NOT moving forward with Civil, a modern day civil war series starring Bradley Whitford and Courtney B. Vance and despite the fact that not only did they film the pilot, but they were ready to sneak peek it in November with a January launch. Why? The short answer: it was TOO REAL. Here’s the description of the series:

[Civil] takes place in the wake of a hotly contested Presidential election, as America finds itself plunging uncontrollably into a modern day Civil War. The series weaves together the personal stories of citizens from all walks of life, whose actions – amplified in an age of instant media – add fuel to the conflict and affect the fate of the entire country.

According to Deadline, the series was all fun and games in the summer, but then real-life events veered too close to the fictional series, and suddenly some felt it hit too close to home. I WANT TO SEE THIS PILOT.

In other development news:

Lala Kent is leaving Vanderpump Rules because SHE DOESN’T NEED IT. But from what I understand she’s not going to be missed.

R.I.P. Alan Thicke, TV dad and creator of the theme songs of a number of shows including both Diff’rent Strokes and The Facts of Life. And now you’re singing the theme song to The Facts of Life to yourself, aren’t you?

Here, his real family, TV family and the rest of Hollywood remembers Alan Thicke, and it sounds like he was just as nice a guy as he seemed on TV. 2016 really sucks.

WATCH THIS

Star: Three young women try to make it big in this new series from Empire creator, Lee Daniels. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Fox

Survivor: The tribal council is called to choose the final survivor. Season finale. 7 p.m., CBS

Pentatonix Christmas Special: Personally, my threshold for acapella is very very low. But maybe it’s your thing!  7 p.m., NBC

SNL Christmas: A bunch of holiday sketches to get you in the spirit. 8 p.m., NBC

Rectify: Daniel envisions what his life could be in the series finale. 9 p.m., Sundance

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Elle Fanning, Childish Gambino Late Night with Seth Meyers: Mindy Kaling, Eric McCormack, Joe Pera, Dave Lombardo The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Neil Patrick Harris, Megan Mullally The Late Late Show with James Corden: Natalie Portman, Annette Bening, Neil Diamond Jimmy Kimmel Live: David Spade, Metallica Conan: Keegan-Michael Key, Ana Gasteyer, Ken Hall, Alice Wetterlund, Luka Jones, Bjorn Gustafsson, Michael Cassidy, Oscar Nunez, Da’Vine Joy Randolph, Brian Huskey The Daily Show: Michael K. Williams Watch What Happens Live: Kim Zolciak-Biermann, Kroy Biermann

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Goldbergs
(new)
Speechless
(new)
Modern Family
(new)
black-ish
(new)
Designated Survivor
(new)
CBS Survivor
(new)
CW Top 12 Greatest Commercials
(new)
The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show
(repeat)
Local
FOX Empire
(new)
Star
(new — PREMIERE)
News/Local
NBC A Pentatonix Christmas Special
(new)
SNL Christmas
(new)
Chicago P.D.
(new)

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