Governor Goodhair (Molly Ivins™) is going to be the head of the Department of Energy, despite the fact that it’s an agency that he wanted to eliminate when he ran for President and despite the fact that he couldn’t remember that it was an agency he wanted to eliminate when he was running for President and never mind that his predecessor is a FUCKING NUCLEAR SCIENTIST and Governor Goodhair’s last job was facing off against Vanilla Ice on Dancing with the Stars. But who knows, maybe his time on Dancing With the Stars can tell us something about the man who will soon be in charge of our nuclear weapon and reactor programs. Related: OH MY GOD WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?
Let’s laugh through our tears:
Here’s fun: at a Wisconsin Trump rally — because yes, he’s still doing post-election rallies, but he’s too busy to receive intelligence briefings — the crowd began chanting “CNN SUCKS! CNN SUCKS! CNN SUCKS!” And I’m not saying that CNN doesn’t sometimes suck — like that time they hired Trump’s disgraced former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski, that sucked — but accurately reporting on Donald Trump does not make CNN “suck.”
And of course our reality show president should have a reality show contestant sing at his reality show inaugural. That is one of the few things that actually makes sense anymore.
“It’s sad. I’m still so heartbroken over it. It feels like the death of America. The America that we have all fought so hard for, the narrative of love and peace and liberty and equality, it feels like it is dead.” RuPaul, I feel you.
Lena Headey should know from a dangerous megalomaniacal leader:
Here are the SAG nominations. Netflix cleaned up this year!
Mike Judge will receive the Animation Lifetime Achievement Award by the Writers Guild of America but he should be receiving some sort of ESP award for writing Idiocracy.
So, apparently there is an Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. web spinoff, Slingshot, and you can watch the whole thing right here:
Here’s your first look at Harriet Tubman on Underground. It returns to WGN on March 8.
Piers Morgan called Madonna and Lady Gaga liars for claiming that they have been raped in their pasts. Cool, cool, what a very cool guy. So cool.
It’s been a busy 24 hours in the TeeVee business:
- Salem will end after this current 3rd season.
- Impastor is being cancelled by TV Land after 2 seasons.
- Two of 2016’s best new comedies, People of Earth and Search Party have been renewed for second seasons on TBS. And if they hadn’t I would have set everything around me on fire, fact.
- After being the cable’s most-watched unscripted new show, Rob & Chyna has been renewed by E! for a second season.
- Stan vs. Evil has been renewed by IFC for a second season.
- They aren’t renewals, exactly, but ABC ordered more episodes of The Goldbergs, The Middle, American Housewife, black-ish, Fresh Off the Boat and Speechless. This is a decent sign for their renewal chances next season.
Ratings real talk:
- All of The CW’s returning shows’ ratings have been down from last season. This doesn’t mean much — they will probably all be renewed anyway, but it’s not great news for the network, either.
- Pitch is done for the season, but its future remains unclear. The numbers weren’t great, but its ties to MLB might keep it alive.
- Mom will probably be renewed despite sagging ratings.
- NBC will probably renew its entire fall slate.
- I’m not saying that it’s going to be cancelled, but I am just saying that The Real O’Neals is ABC’s lowest rated family sitcom that doesn’t air on Fridays. I’m a little worried about it.
- And apparently America’s Next Top Model is doing better on cable than it did on broadcast TV, go figure.
TNT is NOT moving forward with Civil, a modern day civil war series starring Bradley Whitford and Courtney B. Vance and despite the fact that not only did they film the pilot, but they were ready to sneak peek it in November with a January launch. Why? The short answer: it was TOO REAL. Here’s the description of the series:
[Civil] takes place in the wake of a hotly contested Presidential election, as America finds itself plunging uncontrollably into a modern day Civil War. The series weaves together the personal stories of citizens from all walks of life, whose actions – amplified in an age of instant media – add fuel to the conflict and affect the fate of the entire country.
According to Deadline, the series was all fun and games in the summer, but then real-life events veered too close to the fictional series, and suddenly some felt it hit too close to home. I WANT TO SEE THIS PILOT.
In other development news:
- TNT is moving forward with Claws, a manicurist dramedy starring Niecy Nash and I am already loving everything about this.
- Foxy Brown is being turned into a series for Hulu.
- I missed this somewhere, but apparently Stephen King’s Mr. Mercedes is being turned into a series and will star Kelly Lynch.
- Hulu has also picked up National Treasure, a British series about a public figure who becomes embroiled in a sex scandal. Because something like that could NEVER happen here.
- The guy who created The Librarians will be the showrunner for that Lin-Manuel Miranda Kingkiller Chronicle series. So that’s promising!
Lala Kent is leaving Vanderpump Rules because SHE DOESN’T NEED IT. But from what I understand she’s not going to be missed.
R.I.P. Alan Thicke, TV dad and creator of the theme songs of a number of shows including both Diff’rent Strokes and The Facts of Life. And now you’re singing the theme song to The Facts of Life to yourself, aren’t you?
Here, his real family, TV family and the rest of Hollywood remembers Alan Thicke, and it sounds like he was just as nice a guy as he seemed on TV. 2016 really sucks.
Star: Three young women try to make it big in this new series from Empire creator, Lee Daniels. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
Survivor: The tribal council is called to choose the final survivor. Season finale. 7 p.m., CBS
Pentatonix Christmas Special: Personally, my threshold for acapella is very very low. But maybe it’s your thing! 7 p.m., NBC
SNL Christmas: A bunch of holiday sketches to get you in the spirit. 8 p.m., NBC
Rectify: Daniel envisions what his life could be in the series finale. 9 p.m., Sundance
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Elle Fanning, Childish Gambino Late Night with Seth Meyers: Mindy Kaling, Eric McCormack, Joe Pera, Dave Lombardo The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Neil Patrick Harris, Megan Mullally The Late Late Show with James Corden: Natalie Portman, Annette Bening, Neil Diamond Jimmy Kimmel Live: David Spade, Metallica Conan: Keegan-Michael Key, Ana Gasteyer, Ken Hall, Alice Wetterlund, Luka Jones, Bjorn Gustafsson, Michael Cassidy, Oscar Nunez, Da’Vine Joy Randolph, Brian Huskey The Daily Show: Michael K. Williams Watch What Happens Live: Kim Zolciak-Biermann, Kroy Biermann
|CW||Top 12 Greatest Commercials
|The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show
(new — PREMIERE)
|NBC||A Pentatonix Christmas Special