Read this letter from Leslie Knope on the election of Trump and feel a teensy teeny tiny bit better. It’s the next best thing to actually having Parks and Recreation on now. “He is the present, sadly, but he is not the future. You are the future. Your strength is a million times his. Your power is a billion times his. We will acknowledge this result, but we will not accept it. We will overcome it, and we will defeat it.”
What you need to know first: there is an online edition of Big Brother currently happening. Now what you need to know: the contestants didn’t know who won the election until yesterday, making them possibly the last 6 people on the planet who didn’t know Trump is our new president. “‘A reality TV star is our president,’ a shocked Morgan Willett from Austin added. ‘Well, I guess we can be president.'” Yep. That is literally where we are at right now.
Donald Trump’s first post-election interview is going to be with 60 Minutes.
Chuck Lorre had some thoughts on the Trump victory. As did the cast and creator of Modern Family.
Meanwhile, celebrities and others are calling for a boycott of People Magazine after they ran several flattering stories following his win, despite the fact that one of their own writers alleges he assaulted her — which they never acknowledged. #BoycottPeopleMagazine indeed.
Hey, here’s some guy saying that net neutrality might be a fatality of the Trump presidency, so great. Terrific. Just when I thought things COULDN’T GET ANY FUCKING BETTER.
LAUGH, DAMMIT.
And here are some DOGTV clips. DOGTV is an actual cable channel for actual dogs, although ATT U-Verse does not offer it to my great consternation. And I only learned this from this story about how Billy Bob Thornton watches DOGTV to destress, which, I think we can all agree, is something we all need right about now. Billy Bob Thornton = genius.
In positive news, Kristen Wiig is returning to host Saturday Night Live, so we have something to look forward to, I suppose.
Here’s a very good Westeros history lesson that will be a part of the Game of Thrones DVD set that will be released on November 15.
And here is a deleted Game of Thrones scene featuring the Queen of Thorns giving her son Mace what for.
For those of you who had the self-control to not look at the massive Game of Thrones spoilers I posted the other day, first of all, brava. But for a smaller, less revelatory spoiler, click here.
Welp, HBO’s Slenderman documentary looks positively terrifying:
If you watch Better Things, here’s an interesting bit about last night’s surprising season finale. Spoilers, duh.
I’m no lawyer, but it does seem like a bullshit law that IMDB is forced to take down actors’ ages if asked to do so. This would appear, at least to my eyes, to violate the first amendment.
The Expanse will return to Syfy on February 8th and The Magicians on January 25th.
As for Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce, it returns on Bravo on January 11th.
A Tupac and Biggie murder series, Unsolved, has been ordered by USA which is patently absurd because we all know that Tupac isn’t dead.
In other development news:
- NBC is making a series based on the girl surfing movie, Blue Crush.
- Elizabeth Banks is making bank: she sold another comedy, this time about a single father to NBC.
- CBS bought Magnolia Springs, a father-son comedic procedural from the guy who gave us Psych.
- ABC bought The Comedians, a multi-generational comedy.
- Spike ordered It Was Him, a 6-part docuseries about killer Ed Edwards.
- Not going forward: Patient Zero at NBC.
WATCH THIS
Hawaii Five-0: Terrorists attack a middle school formal. OK. 8 p.m., Friday, CBS
Married to Medicine: Houston: As if my week hasn’t been hard enough. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Friday, Bravo
Saturday Night Live: Dave Chappelle and Tribe Called Quest. 10:30 p.m., Saturday, NBC
The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Goodbye goombahs! See you in a year or so! Reunion conclusion. 9 p.m., Sunday, Bravo
The Walking Dead: Negan pays a visit to Alexandria. This is an extra-long episode, make sure your DVR is set to record all 85 minutes. 8 p.m., Sunday, AMC
Westworld: Look out, Maeve’s making trouble. 8 p.m., Sunday, HBO
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Jeremy Renner, Michelle Dockery, David Blaine The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Election special Jimmy Kimmel Live (Friday): Lin-Manuel Miranda, Ken Jeong, Albert Tsai, T.I. Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Kenya Moore, Sandra Bernhard
| FRI. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Last Man Standing (new) |
Dr. Ken (new) |
Shark Tank (new) |
20/20 (new) |
| CBS | MacGyver (new) |
Hawaii Five-0 (new) |
Blue Bloods (new) |
| CW | The Vampire Diaries (new) |
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (new) |
Local |
| FOX | Hell’s Kitchen (new) |
The Exorcist (new) |
Local |
| NBC | Caught on Camera with Nick Cannon (new) |
Dateline NBC (new) |
—
| SAT. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 | 10:00 | 10:30 | 11:00 | 11:30 |
| ABC | College Football: Michigan at Iowa (live) |
News/Local |
| CBS | NCIS: Los Angeles (repeat) |
NCIS: New Orleans (repeat) |
48 Hours (new) |
News/Local |
| FOX | College Football: Southern California at Washington (live) |
News/Local |
| NBC | Dateline NBC (new) |
Saturday Night Live (repeat) |
News/Local | Saturday Night Live (Dave Chappelle & Tribe Called Quest) |
—
| SUN. | 6:00 | 6:30 | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | America’s Funniest Home Videos (new) |
Once Upon a Time (new) |
Secrets and Lies (new) |
Quantico (new) |
| CBS | 60 Minutes (new) |
NCIS: Los Angeles (new) |
Madam Secretary (new) |
Elementary (new) |
| FOX | The OT (live) |
Bob’s Burgers (new) |
The Simpsons (new) |
Son of Zorn (new) |
Family Guy (new) |
Last Man on Earth (new) |
Local/News (new) |
| NBC | Sunday Night Football: Seahawks at Patriots (live) |