‘Hawaii Five-0’: The stand

Hawaii Five-0
“Ke Ku ‘Ana”
October 21, 2016

Boomer lingers over her toilette, making herself pretty-ier for Adam. At least that’s one person released from a prison he didn’t deserve to be in.

spn-adam-still-in-hell
NEVER FORGET

They join the ohana at Kamekona’s for celebratory welcome home garlic shrimp. Boomer reads off congratulations texts from Max and – Sang Min? For some reason? His message is so foul Boomer can’t bring herself to speak it aloud. Flippa gets the mood back on track with a rather wonderful ukulele rendition of “Let’s Get it On.

A call from Duke forces Moonlight to break up the party, but he tells Boomer she’s got the day off. Marvin is her boss today. Only instead of spending the entire day in bed having the sexy times with his smoking hot wife, Adam goes on a quest for the estranged daughter of a guy he met on the inside. Louis had Adam’s back, saved his life more than once, and is dying of cancer. Adam reunites them, it’s very sweet, I don’t care, the end.

whatever

The team respond to a local gun club. There’s a giant gaping hole in the front of the building. An armored bulldozer sits idling across the street. McG pulls a flash-bang from his vest and tells Jin and Caano to cover him. Danny is like, how? With what? His good looks and biting wit?

Moonlight tosses the grenade through the open window, but the driver has already slipped out an escape hatch into the sewers. He’s gone – along with the very expensive and totally illegal cache of weapons from the gun club’s basement. His motive is still obscure. Grover says criminals like weapons that are cheap and untraceable. These are neither.

The team look for leads in the collectors market. Caano throws a flag on calling them collectors or aficionados. “Gun nuts are gun nuts. Let’s call them what they are.” Moonlight is like GUNS DON’T KILL PEOPLE. I DO. WITH MY GUN. AGREE TO DISAGREE. Grover wishes there was a hedge he could slowly back into.

simpsons_homer-backing-away-slowly

They focus on Matty McConnell, AKA lots of absurd douchebag nicknames that he probably gave himself. He has 12 million social media followers, a mobbed up past, and a gap in his collection that can only be filled with an M134 Minigun.

Moonlight and Grover arrive at McConnell’s McMansion. The front door is open. “I hate it when the door’s open. Nothing good ever happens when the door’s open.” And in fact, they find nothing good. The M134 is set up in McConnell’s in-home shooting range. He’s laying on top of a pile of guns. His chest is riddled with bullets. The floor is littered with spent shell casings.

A photo of McConnell’s dead body hits his not!stagram account. A partial image of the killer is captured in the reflection of McConnell’s sunglasses. The caption reads, “This is what karma looks like. It’s time for real gun control.”

Wow. The writers are working out some dark revenge fantasies this season.

Moonlight and Caano take the photo to a support group for the victims of gun violence. The group leader says it looks like Marvin (but not Boomer’s boss for the day Marvin Gaye, who was himself fatally shot by his father in 1984). This Marvin moved to the island after losing a family member a year earlier.

Secondamendmentgument. Caano advocates using a giant airborne magnet to suck up all the guns. He says Moonlight, on the other hand, doesn’t just like guns he loves his guns. He probably sleeps with his gun at night.

“You’d probably marry your gun.”

this-is-my-rifle

McG thinks Caano’s vision of a gun free America sounds great. While they’re at it they can just go ahead and eliminate discrimination, war, hatred, and violence. “We’ll all live happily ever after and we can ride our unicorns to work every day.”

“And you’d probably commandeer my unicorn …”

spn_rainbow-fart-unicorn

The team track Marvin to his home, but once again he’s a step ahead. He pulls a Matrix, walking through the metal detector of the state Supreme Court building, gun drawn. He forces his way into one of the courtrooms. Marvin takes nine hostages, including two judges – one of whom has a concealed carry permit.

Marvin demands a news crew to broadcast his statement live. McG commandeers a camera from a nearby remote crew and sends in Grover and Boomer. So much for her day off, but she’s a dead-eye Cylon and it’s not like she was busy, ADAM.

Marvin sends out two hostages and Boomer and Grover go in. He begins his statement, railing against the government’s inaction on gun violence. You know, I think I get what this episode was going for, but it’s doing so in a very confusing way. Anyhoo, one of the judges on the floor decides it’s time for him to take action.

leeroy-jenkins

The feed cuts out and Moonlight calls Marvin. What’s happening in there?

“One of your judges just realized the answer to the gun problem sure ain’t allowing more people to carry!”

Moonlight prepares to go in with SWAT. Jin gets a call from Eric with Marvin’s real identity. His name is Kyle Kane. His son was involved in a mass shooting in Virginia two years earlier. Not as a victim – but as the shooter.

We get a brief view of an online news article reporting that the killings occurred at a mall outside of Richmond, VA. Oh, hey. Wow. I am not going to take that as a shout out please and thank you.

Caano calls Kyle, father to father. He somehow manages to talk the man down, despite telling Kyle he’s no different from any other crazy person with a gun. I challenge that that’s in the HPD crisis negotiation manual. He finally convinces Kyle that the only way for his message to be heard is if he puts the gun down. The standoff ends over a montage of Kyle’s memories of his son.

This is Whitney, inviting you to be with us next week. Be here, Friday at 8:00 p.m. on CBS.  Aloha.

Whitney is also watching Supernatural and Timeless. Follow her on twitter @Watcher_Whitney.

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