5 reasons to sit through the Olympic Opening Ceremonies’ Parade of Nations

  1. Marvel at international fashions:What was the plan here, Hungary?
  2. Enjoy Bob Costas reinforce racial stereotypes:“And now the Vietnamese, who have had more success in the International Mathematics Olympiad, where they have won more than 150 medals, than here at the Summer Olympics where their all-time total is 1.”
  3. Judge the attractiveness of nations:Who wins the Gold Medal in hotness? Congratulations, Italy! Particularly you Mr. Italian flag bearer.

    The Silver? The Czechs.

    And the Bronze goes to the hotties in Serbia.

    However, special commendation goes to Great Britain’s ridiculously gorgeous flag bearer Mark Foster. And I have one more reason to watch Men’s Swimming. (As if I was looking for an excuse…)

  4. Learn fascinating geo-political facts:Omar Bongo, the President-for-Life of Gabon, offers any gold medalist from his country a “dream house” and “untold riches.” “The Wily Bongo” (as Bob Costas calls him and which was strongly considered as a name for our new puppy, but ultimately rejected) knows this is an improbability.
  5. Hats!

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