‘The Golden Bachelor’: Getting into the spirit

by Therese Odell, posted in the golden bachelor, the golden bachelor: season 2

The Golden Bachelor
October 15, 2025

Bomb Peg is a Renaissance woman: not only does she diffuse bombs and teach FBI agents … something (still unclear what, exactly) but she can also ride a unicycle.

MEANWHILE, MEL HAS TO WEAR SPECIAL SHOES TO STAY UPRIGHT AND HE’S OUT HERE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE AGE OF THESE WOMEN? BE SO FOR REAL, SIR.

Men, amirite?

Anyway. Dodger Carol is upset that she and Cindyrella are the only ones who have not received a one-on-one date as of yet, and the Dreaded Hometowns, they are NEXT WEEK. Wisely, and correctly, Dodger Carol notes that they just have not had enough time together to really get to know one another, so receiving this week’s one-on-one date is vitally important.

She does not receive the one-on-one date.

“Bomb Peg, Jazzercise Debbie, Dirt Bike Cheryl, Handsy Nicolle, Dodger Carol: I’m looking for a soulmate. Love, Mel.”

This means Cindyrella receives the final one-on-one date, which really isn’t much of a shock to anyone except maybe Dodger Carol, considering the princess edit they’ve been giving Cindyrella.

Oh, and Mel won’t be giving any roses out on the dates; that will all unfold at the rose ceremony for the DRAMA.

As for the group date, Mel explains that he’s a “very spiritual person” — and according to Wikipedia, this isn’t a joke, he’s pretty sure he has ESP. As such, they are going to some “spiritual” place to see how his “energies align” with the women. Look, there is a reason why this man from Michigan decided to stay in California the moment he arrived.

So everyone goes to some compound out in the mountains where they meet “Shaman Dani” who walks them through some meditation exercises and forces them to share their deepest insecurities with each other and America. Shaman Dani then swings some wind chimes over everyone before sending Mel off to spend time with the women individually.

First up: Mel and Bomb Peg climb into a Cialis tub filled with mud. They talk about what her Dreaded Hometown would look like; Mel admits that she is a person who is closely aligned with his “energy,” and they make out.

For Dirt Bike Cheryl, the trusty traveling Bachelor Hot Tub makes its seasonal appearance, except, PLOT TWIST! It’s a cold plunge. IS THE BACHELOR HOT TUB EVEN STRUCTURALLY DESIGNED TO HOLD ICE???

Poor Dirt Bike Cheryl, she, like the hot tub, is not designed for this nonsense, and despite Mel insisting that the cold plunge “clears the mind,” they don’t appear to stay in it very long. After, Dirt Bike Cheryl tells Mel that she is falling in love with him; that the feelings she had on their first date haven’t gone away, and this hasn’t happened to her in many years.

As for Jazzercise Debbie, she’s allowed to keep her clothes on to do some tantric yoga with Mel. She also tells Mel she’s falling in love with him.

And then there’s Handsy Nicolle, who, for whatever reason, revealed last week to the entire cast that she absolutely was there entirely for the Wrong Reasons, namely to become an Influencer. During her one-on-one time with Mel, Shaman Dani does a tarot card reading (although she calls it a “shaman card reading” but come on, Shaman Dani). And surprise! The cards warn Mel that he needs to not trust what he’s seeing.

When they are alone, Mel asks Handsy Nicolle the question the Producers prompted him to ask: “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

And Handsy Nicolle, this woman is so lacking in self-awareness that she says that 1. her father takes care of her finances, 2. he has told her she needs to make more money, 3. she works on Instagram and is trying to monetize that, and 4. she wants to write a plant-based cookbook.

And as if all of that is not enough — HER FATHER IS IN CHARGE OF HER FINANCES? SHE IS 64 YEARS OLD! HOW OLD IS DAD? — as they end their time together, Handsy Nicolle asks Mel for “a little kiss,” she explains, “just for the camera.”

Finally, Mel spends some time with Dodger Carol, where Shaman Dani clears their chakras with crystals. And it’s effective, because Dodger Carol is blessed with clarity: she doesn’t want to be on this dumb show anymore.

Dodger Carol tells Mel that, thanks to never receiving a one-on-one, she’s not bringing him home to meet her family because she doesn’t know him like that. He walks her to the Pack Your Shit SUV, and they say their goodbyes.

Somewhat hilariously, Dirt Bike Cheryl happens to see Mel saying goodbye to Dodger Carol, and goes running back to the other women, yelling that “A BLACK SUV TOOK DODGER CAROL!!!” as if she’d been kidnapped off the street. Ma’am, it’s not that serious.

The next day is the final one-on-one date, and Cindyrella arrives at Griffith Park in shorts and cowboy boots like a proper Texan. Mel explains that they are going to hike up to Griffith Observatory — and by “hike,” he means “ride horses,” which he’s never really done.

He’s not great at it.

They eventually get to the top of the mountain, where they have a picnic, and Cindyrella tells Mel about her parents’ failed marriage and then her own divorce. She then adds that she doesn’t want to “skip” or “stumble” into love again; she wants to “fall in love.” And that sounds great, but it doesn’t actually mean anything, right?

Cindyrella tells him that if they were to go to her Dreaded Hometown, he’d meet her three daughters, and they will have LOTS to say. Cindyrella tells Mel that her daughters were the ones who encouraged her to be on the show, insisting that the show picked Mel for her.

Mel then gives Cindyrella a “star” (a piece of paper that says she “owns” a star), and they go to the observatory where Cindyella declares Mel is “everything right now, the sun, the moon, and the stars.”

Which brings us to the evening of the Rose Ceremony: Five women, three Dreaded Hometowns are on the line. After each of the women FaceTime their families to gush about how wonderful this wet paper towel of a man is, and how they can’t wait to bring him home to meet them, it’s time to line up.

Rose #1: Cindyrella
Rose #2: Bomb Peg
Rose #3: Jazzercise Debbie

Which means, somewhat shockingly, Dirt Bike Cheryl is going home. Somewhat less shockingly, Handsy Nicolle is also going home.

As Mel walks Handsy Nicolle out, she instructs him to call her when it doesn’t work out with whomever he chooses.

ALRIGHT, HANDSY NICOLLE. WORK THAT VILLAIN EDIT ALL THE WAY HOME, GIRL.

She then muses that maybe she’ll be chosen as the Golden Bachelorette.

LOL, GO ON AND DOUBLE DOWN! We love a delusional queen.

Here are the ladies who have been eliminated, along with their very not good nicknames:

Here are the women along with their dumb nicknames who are still “dating” Mel:

The Golden Bachelor airs Wednesdays on ABC at 7/8 p.m. and streams on Hulu.

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