Saturday Night Live
Michael B. Jordan and Lil Baby
January 28, 2023
Back when I was watching a young Michael B. Jordan on my stories — All My Children (R.I.P.) specifically — I would have never guessed he would become a full-fledged Movie Star, capital M, capital S. He was a cute kid, but, as demonstrated in the clip he included in his monologue, he wasn’t really given a lot to work with. Fortunately, casting agents saw something more in him, and after his breakthrough performance in Fruitvale Station ten years ago, followed by powerful performances in Creed and Black Panther, it’s safe to say Michael B. Jordan is a household name (and not just because he shares it with the best basketball player of all time).
It also helps that Michael B. Jordan is charming and handsome, qualities that he used to help this mediocre episode of Saturday Night Live. His charisma helped smooth out what might have been some rougher sketches, and his good looks were literally the subject of several others. I’d love to see him return, maybe with some stronger writing next time.
The cold open is a take on the growing classified document scandal, and how Merrick Garland IS TAKING NO SHIT, even though he’s a nerdy little twerp. It’s not terrible — the Kamala Harris bit is pretty funny — but it does run on entirely too long.
Grade: B
Michael B. Jordan’s monologue reminds us that he was on All My Children back in the day, that he underwent a public breakup, and that he is a very attractive man: so attractive, even lesbians want a piece of that. No lies detected.
Grade: B
Sarah Sherman and Jordan are a pair of morning show correspondents who found themselves stuck on a roller coaster for 19 hours which makes for an … interesting, and messy, cooking segment the next day. This bit is eliciting strong responses from people — you either love this deliberately gross bit or you hated it:
Personally, I did not care for it, but I do understand others will love it.
Grade: C+
Southwest Airlines apologizes for the holiday meltdown, and reveals how they are going to avoid mess-ups in the future: they are going to upgrade to 2008 Dell desktops; color-code the luggage; and hire Waffle House employees.
As someone who has vowed to never fly Southwest again (but not because of the holiday incident), I approve this message.
Grade: A-
Kenan Thompson and Marcello Hernandez are Dominican towel guys at a resort and the entire joke is that they have Dominican accents? I think? It feels like a forced attempt to make recurring characters and I’m underwhelmed.
Grade: C+
Jordan is Jake from State Farm who is maybe a little too involved in your life. Like, taking your wife and kids to dinner and church, sleeping in your bed, involved in your life.
Grade: A
Jordan and Bowen Yang are voice actors for Street Fighter, and Bowen is not giving the straightest performance. It’s a one-joke bit — and an obvious one at that — but I would be lying if I claimed I didn’t laugh at Bowen’s response to giving a more hetero delivery.
Grade: B
“Weekend Update” takes on letting Trump back on Facebook; the documents scandal; Taylor Swift fans; and George Santos being outed as a drag queen. However, the Kanye joke in the second half is the best.
Grade: B+
Carl, the doorman at Michael Che’s apartment, visits the “Weekend Update” desk to tattle on all of Che’s personal business. It’s not particularly funny, and while it is only three and a half minutes long, it feels three times longer than that, honestly.
Grade: C
Heidi Gardner’s Angel (Every Boxer’s Girlfriend from Every Movie About Boxing Ever) returns to the “Weekend Update” desk mostly as an excuse to have Jordan put on his red Creed sweatshirt.
Grade: B-
Andrew Dismukes leads a male confidence seminar for a bunch of incels, only to have Michael B. Jordan’s character derail the leader’s own confidence with a single word: “forehead.” It’s fine, but I would have upped the obnoxiousness, made the leader’s character a little more misogynistic so that when Jordan attacks him, it feels more like retribution instead of just bullying.
Grade: B
Do I blame the writers for putting Jordan in a male stripper sketch? NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. That said, I did not see this sketch going where it did. “Ma’am, please stop referring to your fetus as a stripper.”
Grade: A-
King Brothers Toyota in Brenham, Texas is having an overstock sale because ever since the Raising Cane’s moved in across Highway 8, customers have been unable to get to King Brothers Toyota to buy their cars and they are salty about it. Goes on too long, but I always appreciate when Dismukes writes Texas into the show. (And yes, I confirmed Dismukes wrote this sketch, though I really didn’t need to. Anytime Texas or the Gulf South is in a bit, you can bet he had a hand in it.)
Grade: B+
In the strangest bit of the night, Michael B. Jordan, playing himself, keeps falling down in the SNL hallways, always right in front of Dismukes. It feels like watching someone else’s anxiety dream.
Grade: B-
Final Grade: A solid B.
Saturday Night Live airs at 10:30/11:30 p.m. Saturdays on NBC.