Going into 2023 like:
Well shit. pic.twitter.com/GxmK8GbXS0
— jamie (@gnuman1979) January 1, 2023
Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News
On last night’s Monday Night Football, Buffalo Bills safety Damar Hamlin collapsed on the field after he tackled a Cincinnati Bengals player, having suffered a cardiac arrest. The event took place in the first quarter of the game which was paused as he received CPR for several minutes before being taken off the field by ambulance. However, the NFL did not cancel the game for over an hour, prompting a great deal of criticism of the league and of the sport itself.
The collapse of Buffalo Bills safety Damar Hamlin during a primetime game in Cincinnati serves as a reminder of football’s inherent risk, and it represents one of the worst crises that the NFL has faced in decades. https://t.co/LeMXEWtcZV
— The New York Times (@nytimes) January 3, 2023
Hamlin was transferred to a hospital where he remains in critical condition.
Damar Hamlin suffered a cardiac arrest following a hit in our game versus the Bengals. His heartbeat was restored on the field and he was transferred to the UC Medical Center for further testing and treatment. He is currently sedated and listed in critical condition.
— Buffalo Bills (@BuffaloBills) January 3, 2023
In a moving tribute, a toy drive that Hamlin founded with an initial goal of raising $3,500 has received $3.7 million as of this writing. My hopes for a speedy recovery for this young man, and more introspection on the part of fans and the NFL as a whole.
— Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) January 3, 2023
I have my issues with the NFL and with football in general; too many here to repeat without sounding shrill. All I will say is that this incident in which a healthy young athlete faced a life-threatening event because of the violence of the sport and in which the NFL cared more about ratings and advertising dollars than doing the right thing by canceling the game immediately feels like a metaphor for everything that is wrong with the organization and the sport.
This year marks the 50th anniversary of An American Family, the first reality show. The series moved into the home of Pat and William C. Loud and their five children and followed their day-to-day life for 12 weeks. At the time, nothing like it had ever been seen or attempted, and it became fodder for commentary and a lot of criticism for being exploitative. And TV has never been the same since.
Spurred by news that you will find below in Cancelations, a Pajiba writer has come up with a theory on why new Netflix live-action series are canceled after only one season: they fail to reach 100 million hours in the first full week on the streamer. If this is true, one of my end-of-the-year favorites, Guillermo Del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities, is in danger.
The story of why Miguel Sapochnik left House of the Dragon is now coming out: it seems he asked for his wife Alexis Raben to be included as a producer on the second season (she had been a producer on the first), and HBO refused.
Steven Moffat has made a public plea to Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman to come back to Sherlock. “They’re on to bigger and better things but, Martin and Benedict, ‘please come back?’” (Don’t hold your breath, Sherlock fans.) He also teased a second season of Inside Man, so that’s good.
I keep seeing this all over the place, so I guess people care? But Michael Weatherly is hinting at a reunion between Tony and Ziva on NCIS.
Stay tuned… for this might be an interesting year for such “moments”! https://t.co/K2RQOqjL4E
— Michael Weatherly (@M_Weatherly) January 1, 2023
Netflix’s Assassin’s Creed adaptation has lost its showrunner over creative differences.
Comcast is launching a “Free This Week” program for subscribers of Xfinity X1 pay-TV bundle and Flex streaming packages more access to no-fee streaming and network programming.
Maybe — possibly — my favorite story of 2022 snuck in at the very end of the year. But it arrived and just ~chef’s kiss~.
So there’s this asshole named Andrew Tate. He’s a former kickboxer who became an internet personality known for his vicious misogyny — he literally calls himself “absolutely a sexist” and “absolutely a misogynist” and teaches young men that women are “given to the man and belong to the man.” He moved to Romania a few years ago to avoid being investigated for sexual assault. And from what I understand, he makes his money by human trafficking women and forcing them to do webcams. He’s a treat. And I only tell you all of this because I was shocked to learn that my husband had no idea who this guy was until this story broke last week.
ANYWAY. So this idiot, Andrew Tate, he decided to troll environmental activist Greta Thunberg for no good reason? And having had his Twitter account recently reactivated by Elon Musk — OBVIOUSLY — he tweeted at her:
I have 33 cars.
My Bugatti has a w16 8.0L quad turbo.
My TWO Ferrari 812 competizione have 6.5L v12s.
This is just the start.
Please provide your email address so I can send a complete list of my car collection and their respective enormous emissions. pic.twitter.com/ehhOBDQyYU
— Andrew Tate (@Cobratate) December 27, 2022
Because he thinks a person’s worth lies in how many supercars they own or something. Again, he sent this to her out of the fucking blue.
Greta promptly responded:
yes, please do enlighten me. email me at email@example.com https://t.co/V8geeVvEvg
— Greta Thunberg (@GretaThunberg) December 28, 2022
Andrew Tate reading Greta’s reply in his Bugatti pic.twitter.com/uJ1mtFMnWl
— MB (@bowx_) December 28, 2022
Andrew Tate will now be forever known as "that guy who got absolutely wrecked by Greta Thunberg on Twitter" and nothing else https://t.co/rkn5ySeb74
— Owen Jones (@OwenJones84) December 28, 2022
OH BUT HE WOULDN’T! Because this would have been amazing if that was the end of the story, but HILARIOUSLY IT WAS NOT.
Tate, instead of just letting it go, felt compelled to respond to Greta’s burn by making a whole ass video:
Thank you for confirming via your email address that you have a small penis @GretaThunberg
The world was curious.
— Andrew Tate (@Cobratate) December 28, 2022
And, again, this would have been hilarious enough in its sheer patheticness. BUT! THEN! Soon after he posted this, Romanian police arrested Tate and his brother for human trafficking and rape.
BREAKING: Andrew Tate and brother Tristan arrested in Romania in human trafficking probe pic.twitter.com/b5eaZrErAb
— BNO News (@BNONews) December 29, 2022
And there is a suggestion that the authorities were able to locate him based on a pizza box seen in the video above. Which, if true, is literally the greatest self-own of all time.
this is what happens when you don’t recycle your pizza boxes
— Greta Thunberg (@GretaThunberg) December 30, 2022
(And that tweet above? It’s the seventh most-liked tweet of all time.) I’m still laughing days later.
So…Elon Musk let Andrew Tate back on Twitter, and Tate promptly used it to reveal his whereabouts to authorities in Romania who then arrested him.
All because Greta Thunberg owned him so hard his little wee-wee fell off.
Do I have that right? Please say I have that right.
— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) December 29, 2022
Andrew Tate’s cars killing themselves after Greta got him arrested pic.twitter.com/pMJZ0lrFRg
— grovy 🥭 (@grovymango) December 29, 2022
The guy who filmed Andrew Tate's response to Greta Thunberg pic.twitter.com/EvPTryO1TS
— Will Sebag-Montefiore (@wsebag) December 30, 2022
“Just putting that on a 10-year-old child and making it like they made an adult man uncomfortable is insane… and then that was relayed to a casting director who was happy to relay that to your mom,” Ratajkowski sums up the vomit-inducing tale. “If you need a more fucked up story about Hollywood and, like, pedophilia and the sexualization of children, I don’t know if there is one.”
She also claims that when she was 14 and starring in Shake It Up! on Disney Channel, she was nearly fired for wearing a bikini on the beach. She was warned to be careful with what she wore in public, and told to only wear boy shorts and t-shirts on the beach. Ridiculous.
Joan Lunden has finally opened up about being replaced on Good Morning America with a younger version of herself when she was only 47. 47! Of course, back in 1997, 47 for women was like 97 in men years.
UFC president Dana White says he and his wife have apologized to each other after video footage of them hitting each other in an argument appeared online.
Bill Cosby wants to tour again this year. GROSS. NO. I mean, y’all do what you want with your money, but I can think of literally millions of better things to do with it other than give it to a gross old rapist. Speaking of, he’s being sued again.
Politico is trash.
Politico is trash. As I keep telling you. Absolutely garbage. Daily. https://t.co/HpIG795Ej9
— Soledad O'Brien (@soledadobrien) December 26, 2022
- 1899 has been canceled at Netflix after one season.
- HBO Max has yanked 16 seasons of Looney Tunes shorts because David Zaslav continues to be the absolute worst.
- Tracee Ellis Ross has joined the Eddie Murphy film Candy Cane Lane on Prime Video.
Mark Your Calendars
- The Consultant will debut on Prime Video on February 24.
- Koala Man will premiere on Hulu on January 9.
- Black Panther: Wakanda Forever will debut on Disney+ on January 20.
- Switch will premiere on Game Show Network on January 30.
- Outer Banks will return on Netflix on February 23.
Catherine Cyran, Daytime Emmy-nominated director and writer
Ken Block, Motorsport legend and creator of Gymkhana YouTube series
Fred White, Drummer for Earth, Wind & Fire
Will Trent: Ramón Rodríguez stars as Will Trent, an investigator in the Georgia Bureau of Investigations, who uses his unique point of view to solve cases. Series premiere. 9 p.m., ABC
The Menu: Ralph Fiennes, Ana Taylor-Joy, and Nicholas Hoult star in this dark comedy about the exclusive culinary scene. Premiere. HBO Max
Sometimes When We Touch: This documentary explores the rise and fall of soft rock in the late 70s and early 80s. Premiere. Paramount+
FBI: The abduction of a young woman leads the team back to a cold case. Winter premiere. 7 p.m., CBS
The Resident: The ER will no longer accept trauma patients due to budget cuts. Winter premiere. 7 p.m. Fox
FBI: International: The Fly Team tries to intercept a major art heist in the winter premiere. 8 p.m., CBS
FBI: Most Wanted: A child psychiatrist is kidnapped in the winter premiere. 9 p.m., CBS
New Amsterdam: Helen Sharpe returns unexpectedly to New York. Winter premiere. 9 p.m., NBC
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Ana de Armas, Luke Grimes, Protoje
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Michael Shannon, Danielle Brooks, Maya Stepansky
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Michelle Obama, Quinta Brunson, Tom Papa
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Seth Rogen, Diego Calva, Aoife O’Donovan featuring Allison Russell
- Watch What Happens Live: Kenya Moore, Carson Kressley
|The Rookie: Feds
|FBI: Most Wanted
|NBC||America’s Got Talent: All-Stars