It’s Wednesday. And I am furious and terrified.

Political Crap

Holy shit. I don’t know that there has ever been more of a roller coaster of a day in this country, and it’s only 3 p.m.

OK, first the terrific news:

Yesterday I was pessimistic about the Georgia Senate runoff race. I’ve burned so many times, reader. But I should have had more faith in the good people of Georgia, because it looks like Rev. Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff have defeated Republicans and just genuinely horrid people, Kelly Loeffler and David Perdue. Ossoff’s win isn’t official yet, but we are inches from it becoming so.

And there is plenty of congratulations to go around: President Dipshit deserves accolades for planting doubt about the Democratic process in the minds of his supporters, obviously. But save some pats on the back for the Senate Republicans, too. The House gave them an out a year ago: they impeached President Perfect Call — and for good reason — all the Senate Republicans had to do was muster up the courage to remove him from office and give their supporters a clear and cogent reason why they were doing so. Had they, Mike Pence would probably have been elected President in November (and probably would have done a much better job listening to the experts and controlling the virus) and the Senate would certainly still be in their control. BUT NOPE!

But the true credit goes to Stacey “Badass Bitch” Adams and all of her fellow activists whose tireless work registered thousands of underrepresented Georgians and encouraged them to use their power. She is a superhero and I wish every Confederate statue in Georgia would be replaced with statues of her.

Now with the White House and both houses of Congress in the hands of Democrats, things other than tax cuts and judicial appointments might be able to get done. Senator Schumer has indicated that one of the first things that will be accomplished is that $2,000 stimulus to every American that needs it. But, after that, they really should pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act which has been sitting on McConnell’s desk for months now, both because we desperately need it, but also because it would be an important and significant gesture of thanks to Abrams and every voter who helped change Washington at the moment we needed it most.

Now for the fucking terrifying news.

As I’m writing this, I — probably like you — am flipping through the different news channels watching the Trump supporters as they storm the Capitol, disrupting the election certification process. Senators and Congresspeople are hiding under their desks, putting on gas masks, being ushered into secret locations. Guns have been drawn, at least one person has been shot and these insurrectionists breached the chambers without any push back from the authorities.


And the Monster-in-Chief is tweeting encouragement.

But don’t worry, y’all, once the Capitol was breached, President Insurrectionist did tweet out support of the Capitol police.

I had every intention of writing a typical rant about the political theater we were expecting to witness this afternoon, with the Republicans led by that blobfish Ted Cruz and lickspittle Josh Hawley contesting the certification of certain states’ votes, and dragging out the inevitable.

But now … I don’t know what to say. We are watching an active rebellion taking place in the United States Capitol on our TV screens and I am at a loss for words. This is genuinely one of the most terrifying days of my life. Even if the Capitol police remove these insurrectionists in the next few hours and clear the Capitol steps, something fundamental has been broken in our country today, something changed, and we will never be the same.

I’m sure I’ll have more to say about this soon. But for now, 14 days. Hang on to that. 14 days.

Going Viral

Over 3,500 Americans died of COVID-19 yesterday, and more than 227,000 new cases were confirmed. And scientists are warning us that America is blind to the new mutant strain that is hyper-contagious.

California is running out of oxygen.

Hank Aaron received the vaccine, and hopes it will encourage other Black Americans to receive it. (Personal fact: we named one of our sons after Mr. Aaron [and Hank Williams], so this makes me very happy.)

As for the vaccine rollout itself, it’s been a disaster, and hopefully, it will be the first thing the Biden Administration and the new Democratic Congress tackles in a couple of weeks.

Two Texas Republican members of Congress have tested positive for COVID after receiving the vaccine, because one dose is not enough. So even after you receive your vaccine, remember to continue social distancing and wearing your mask.

Wealthy Floridians received a vaccine through a nursing home. Gross.

Of course Rudy Giuliani refused to take a COVID-19 test before filming his Borat interview. Obviously, he refused.

The pro-fascism rallies that are happening in D.C. this week are also pro-virus, apparently:


Montana’s new governor plans to lift the state’s mask mandate in a couple of weeks. COOOOOOOOOL.

The Japanese people want the Olympics to either be postponed or canceled altogether. A cancellation is never going to happen, but it’s hard to blame them.

Ohio State might not be able to field enough players for the national championship game. WHO COULD HAVE POSSIBLY PREDICTED SUCH AN OUTCOME? But hey, only 30% of college football players have suffered heart damage from the virus SO I GUESS IT IS ALL WORTH IT. Jesus fucking Christ, the priorities of this stupid country.

The Sundance Film Festival has canceled their Los Angeles-area screenings.

The pandemic has killed Lauren Graham’s role on Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist on NBC.

The Price Is Right and Let’s Make A Deal have extended their production hiatus.

All Other TV News

I am not here to judge you if you need the 14-foot long David Hasselhoff in your life. We are all on our own journeys in this life.

Y’all love the Roku.

No, that’s not Anthony Michael Hall in Cobra Kai, but to be fair, there is no reason for both Anthony Michael Hall and Terry Serpico to both exist in Hollywood.

This is very sweet:

Are you a Mandalorian fan who has never watched any of the animated Star Wars series? (~raises hand~) Here’s a handy guide to how the animated characters fit into the live-action series, with specific suggested episodes to watch if you want to learn more.

And this is some educated speculation as to how the new Marvel series debuting on Disney+ this year could impact the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

RuPaul’s Drag Race had its biggest premiere — and most-watched episode ever — on Friday. So will Dolly and Cher be on it now, please?

Alison Brie reveals her most-embarrassing on-set Mad Men moment, thanks to a girdle.

The Young and the Restless and The Bold and the Beautiful will have some crossovers beginning next week.

Steve Scully is back on C-SPAN after lying that his Twitter had been hacked following the smallest, dumbest controversy I can think of.

Love is really dead and dead for possibly the most unexpected reason.

WAIT! Love is alive and well!

Recover quickly, Dr. Dre!are you


  • Caillou has been cancelled at PBS after 20 years, and parents could not be happier.


In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Walker debuts on The CW on January 21.
  • Locked Down will premiere on HBO Max on January 14.
  • Everyone Is Doing Great will debut on Hulu on January 13.
  • Search Party returns on HBO Max on January 14.
  • Love Games will premiere on Discovery+ on February 8.
  • Secrets of Sulphur Springs will debut on Disney Channel on January 15.
  • Are You Afraid of the Dark? will return on Nickelodeon soon.


Eric Jerome Dickey, New York Times best-selling novelist

Dimitri Eipides, Film festival programmer


Who Wants to Be a Millionaire: Three straight hours of celebrities playing for their personal charities. 7 p.m., ABC

Name That Tune: Randy Jackson hosts this new reboot of the classic game show. I thought we already did this with Shazam, but OK. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Fox

Chicago Med: Dr. Charles and April deal with a mysterious patient in the winter premiere. 7 p.m., NBC

Chicago Fire: Mouch is left shaken after an incident on the ladder. Winter premiere. 8 p.m., NBC

Chicago P.D.: Upton is offered a job with the FBI in the winter premiere. 9 p.m., NBC

Surviving Death: This new docuseries explores what happens after death, based on research and personal stories. Series premiere. Netflix

When Disaster Strikes: Who doesn’t love a good disaster story? Series premiere. 9 p.m., PBS

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Don Cheadle, Taylor Kinney, Michael Kiwanuka
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Ted Danson, Chris Coleman
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Samantha Bee, Paul Mescal
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Hailee Steinfeld, Seventeen
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Regina King, Jake Tapper, Best Coast
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Watch What Happens Live: Emily Simpson, Mary Cosby

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
CBS The Price is Right at Night
Young Sheldon
CW Riverdale
Nancy Drew
FOX The Masked Dancer
Name That Tune
NBC Chicago Med
Chicago Fire
Chicago P.D.

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