It’s Wednesday. And I am furious and terrified.
Holy shit. I don’t know that there has ever been more of a roller coaster of a day in this country, and it’s only 3 p.m.
OK, first the terrific news:
Yesterday I was pessimistic about the Georgia Senate runoff race. I’ve burned so many times, reader. But I should have had more faith in the good people of Georgia, because it looks like Rev. Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff have defeated Republicans and just genuinely horrid people, Kelly Loeffler and David Perdue. Ossoff’s win isn’t official yet, but we are inches from it becoming so.
And there is plenty of congratulations to go around: President Dipshit deserves accolades for planting doubt about the Democratic process in the minds of his supporters, obviously. But save some pats on the back for the Senate Republicans, too. The House gave them an out a year ago: they impeached President Perfect Call — and for good reason — all the Senate Republicans had to do was muster up the courage to remove him from office and give their supporters a clear and cogent reason why they were doing so. Had they, Mike Pence would probably have been elected President in November (and probably would have done a much better job listening to the experts and controlling the virus) and the Senate would certainly still be in their control. BUT NOPE!
If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed…….and we will deserve it.
— Lindsey Graham (@LindseyGrahamSC) May 3, 2016
But the true credit goes to Stacey “Badass Bitch” Adams and all of her fellow activists whose tireless work registered thousands of underrepresented Georgians and encouraged them to use their power. She is a superhero and I wish every Confederate statue in Georgia would be replaced with statues of her.
Now with the White House and both houses of Congress in the hands of Democrats, things other than tax cuts and judicial appointments might be able to get done. Senator Schumer has indicated that one of the first things that will be accomplished is that $2,000 stimulus to every American that needs it. But, after that, they really should pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act which has been sitting on McConnell’s desk for months now, both because we desperately need it, but also because it would be an important and significant gesture of thanks to Abrams and every voter who helped change Washington at the moment we needed it most.
Now for the fucking terrifying news.
As I’m writing this, I — probably like you — am flipping through the different news channels watching the Trump supporters as they storm the Capitol, disrupting the election certification process. Senators and Congresspeople are hiding under their desks, putting on gas masks, being ushered into secret locations. Guns have been drawn, at least one person has been shot and these insurrectionists breached the chambers without any push back from the authorities.
They’re in the chamber. One is up on the dais yelling “Trump won that election!” This is insane pic.twitter.com/p6CXhBDSFT
— Igor Bobic (@igorbobic) January 6, 2021
And the Monster-in-Chief is tweeting encouragement.
Mike Pence didn’t have the courage to do what should have been done to protect our Country and our Constitution, giving States a chance to certify a corrected set of facts, not the fraudulent or inaccurate ones which they were asked to previously certify. USA demands the truth!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 6, 2021
But don’t worry, y’all, once the Capitol was breached, President Insurrectionist did tweet out support of the Capitol police.
Please support our Capitol Police and Law Enforcement. They are truly on the side of our Country. Stay peaceful!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 6, 2021
I had every intention of writing a typical rant about the political theater we were expecting to witness this afternoon, with the Republicans led by that blobfish Ted Cruz and lickspittle Josh Hawley contesting the certification of certain states’ votes, and dragging out the inevitable.
But now … I don’t know what to say. We are watching an active rebellion taking place in the United States Capitol on our TV screens and I am at a loss for words. This is genuinely one of the most terrifying days of my life. Even if the Capitol police remove these insurrectionists in the next few hours and clear the Capitol steps, something fundamental has been broken in our country today, something changed, and we will never be the same.
BREAKING: Protesters are on the Senate floor now: pic.twitter.com/k4Q0ln8pZs
— Frank Thorp V (@frankthorp) January 6, 2021
Reminder fo what capitol "security" in full military-grade riot gear looked like for Black Lives Matter protests this summer. pic.twitter.com/x2H3E13VPd
— El Norte Recuerda (@Vanessid) January 6, 2021
I’m sure I’ll have more to say about this soon. But for now, 14 days. Hang on to that. 14 days.
Hank Aaron received the vaccine, and hopes it will encourage other Black Americans to receive it. (Personal fact: we named one of our sons after Mr. Aaron [and Hank Williams], so this makes me very happy.)
Two Texas Republican members of Congress have tested positive for COVID after receiving the vaccine, because one dose is not enough. So even after you receive your vaccine, remember to continue social distancing and wearing your mask.
Of course Rudy Giuliani refused to take a COVID-19 test before filming his Borat interview. Obviously, he refused.
The pro-fascism rallies that are happening in D.C. this week are also pro-virus, apparently:
"I'm going to give everyone three action steps … turn to the person next to you and give them a hug. Someone you don't know … it's a mass-spreader event! It's a mass-spreader event!" pic.twitter.com/NVRN9HdzSl
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) January 5, 2021
The Japanese people want the Olympics to either be postponed or canceled altogether. A cancellation is never going to happen, but it’s hard to blame them.
Ohio State might not be able to field enough players for the national championship game. WHO COULD HAVE POSSIBLY PREDICTED SUCH AN OUTCOME? But hey, only 30% of college football players have suffered heart damage from the virus SO I GUESS IT IS ALL WORTH IT. Jesus fucking Christ, the priorities of this stupid country.
The pandemic has killed Lauren Graham’s role on Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist on NBC.
Please watch the first episode of @ZoeysPlaylist tonight! Joan is only there for a wee moment (plans to do more thwarted by pandemic-related scheduling issues), but I’m so excited to watch the incredible @jcolburnlevy and company. xLhttps://t.co/9klEicHMCR
— Lauren Graham (@thelaurengraham) January 6, 2021
The Price Is Right and Let’s Make A Deal have extended their production hiatus.
All Other TV News
I am not here to judge you if you need the 14-foot long David Hasselhoff in your life. We are all on our own journeys in this life.
No, that’s not Anthony Michael Hall in Cobra Kai, but to be fair, there is no reason for both Anthony Michael Hall and Terry Serpico to both exist in Hollywood.
This is very sweet:
— Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) January 2, 2021
Are you a Mandalorian fan who has never watched any of the animated Star Wars series? (~raises hand~) Here’s a handy guide to how the animated characters fit into the live-action series, with specific suggested episodes to watch if you want to learn more.
Alison Brie reveals her most-embarrassing on-set Mad Men moment, thanks to a girdle.
The Young and the Restless and The Bold and the Beautiful will have some crossovers beginning next week.
Steve Scully is back on C-SPAN after lying that his Twitter had been hacked following the smallest, dumbest controversy I can think of.
WAIT! Love is alive and well!
- Caillou has been cancelled at PBS after 20 years, and parents could not be happier.
Our oldest, now 13, had a Calliou phase, largely because we didn't know what it was and didn't stop it in time.
No parent should ever have to endure that. There is no reason to inflict this entitled shitbird on any future generation.
— watch out for the char (it / its) (@aGirlCalledChar) January 6, 2021
In 2016 I wrote the following about Calliou. pic.twitter.com/H8epUhPaqx
— Matthew Berry (@MatthewBerryTMR) January 6, 2021
- The Son in Law, a family comedy, is being developed at ABC.
- Ties That Bind, a soapy thriller, is being developed at NBC.
- A game show (and a movie?) based on the Rubik’s Cube are in the works.
- Rhys Darby is going to star in Our Flag Means Death on HBO Max.
- Ben Radcliffe has been cast in Anatomy of a Scandal on Netflix.
- Denise Alexander will return to General Hospital as Lesley.
Mark Your Calendars
- Walker debuts on The CW on January 21.
- Locked Down will premiere on HBO Max on January 14.
- Everyone Is Doing Great will debut on Hulu on January 13.
- Search Party returns on HBO Max on January 14.
- Love Games will premiere on Discovery+ on February 8.
- Secrets of Sulphur Springs will debut on Disney Channel on January 15.
- Are You Afraid of the Dark? will return on Nickelodeon soon.
Something's lurking in the shadows. New Are You Afraid of the Dark, coming soon. pic.twitter.com/OCtCX9EfnB
— Nickelodeon (@Nickelodeon) January 5, 2021
- Married at First Sight: Couples Cam and Married at First Sight: Australia will return on Lifetime on February 4.
- North Korea: Inside the Mind of a Dictator will air on National Geographic on January 18.
- Promising Young Woman will be available on VOD on January 15. (setting a reminder now)
Eric Jerome Dickey, New York Times best-selling novelist
Dimitri Eipides, Film festival programmer
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire: Three straight hours of celebrities playing for their personal charities. 7 p.m., ABC
Name That Tune: Randy Jackson hosts this new reboot of the classic game show. I thought we already did this with Shazam, but OK. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
Chicago Med: Dr. Charles and April deal with a mysterious patient in the winter premiere. 7 p.m., NBC
Chicago Fire: Mouch is left shaken after an incident on the ladder. Winter premiere. 8 p.m., NBC
Chicago P.D.: Upton is offered a job with the FBI in the winter premiere. 9 p.m., NBC
Surviving Death: This new docuseries explores what happens after death, based on research and personal stories. Series premiere. Netflix
When Disaster Strikes: Who doesn’t love a good disaster story? Series premiere. 9 p.m., PBS
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Don Cheadle, Taylor Kinney, Michael Kiwanuka
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Ted Danson, Chris Coleman
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Samantha Bee, Paul Mescal
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Hailee Steinfeld, Seventeen
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Regina King, Jake Tapper, Best Coast
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Watch What Happens Live: Emily Simpson, Mary Cosby
|ABC||Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
|Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
|Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
|CBS||The Price is Right at Night
|FOX||The Masked Dancer
|Name That Tune