It’s another Thursday and five days until Election Day. Tomorrow is the last day of early voting here in Texas, so what are you waiting for?
We’ve reached that stage in the last week of the election where there is no real news being made: the candidates are making last appearances on the trail — some more responsibly than others — and everything else is just trying to make sense out of the polls, spinning the numbers to either assure their base or to alarm them into going out to vote.
I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.
And not allowing me able to rest any better, we have President Asshole out there, constantly talking about how he plans on stealing the election he knows damn well he’s going to lose in the popular vote:
Trump on the ongoing legal battles over counting ballots after Nov. 3: "Hopefully the few states remaining that want to take a lot of time after November 3rd to count ballots, that won't be allowed by the various courts." pic.twitter.com/ckryTBuX0j
— The Recount (@therecount) October 28, 2020
There’s always a chance the federal courts will be reasonable and allow the states to determine how they count their votes, and give them the time to count every eligible vote. But considering President Deplorable has been allowed to appoint three justices on the Supreme Court — two of whom worked on Bush v. Gore (and not on the right side) — things are really terrifying right now. Who knows what Wednesday, November 4 is going to look like.
However, if voters show up for Biden in person in big enough numbers on or before Election Day, particularly in crucial states like Pennsylvania, Florida, and Ohio, they won’t be able to hijack the election by handing it over to their cronies on the Supreme Court. And you know what would be even more amazing? If Texas went blue and we could all go to bed early on November 3. It’s unlikely to happen, but a girl can dream.
So PLEASE — be like Houston’s own Lizzo and V-O-T-E:
Elsewhere, Tucker Carlson had a meltdown on his show yesterday, claiming that the Deep State — or someone — stole the incriminating documents he has on Hunter Biden while they were being shipped across the country via UPS. Don’t worry, UPS found Tucker’s lost package. Heh-heh, “Tucker’s lost package.” SO WATCH OUT, HUNTER BIDEN. YOUR PRESIDENTIAL CHANCES ARE ABOUT TO GO IN THE TOILET, BUDDY.
This is Ivanka’s sister-in-law. LOL:
So here’s Jared Kushner on tape saying that President Daddy-in-Law is “getting the country back from the doctors,” back in April. HOW’S THAT GOING, YOU WALKING BOWL OF MILK? And White House insiders are admitting that the plan is herd immunity, just don’t call it “herd immunity.”
Oregon’s public health authority had their MD dress up like a clown and announce COVID deaths. pic.twitter.com/6MJaqQniG6
— The Post Millennial (@TPostMillennial) October 28, 2020
France is headed back to lockdown, and Germany might not be far behind.
Bobby Ball, the British comedian and star of BBC One’s Not Going Out, and contestant on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!, has died from COVID-19.
The MLB is throwing Justin Turner under the bus, and claiming that he refused to comply with COVID protocols after testing positive during the game. And speaking of the Dodgers and their World Series win, they are postponing their victory parade. Sad.
The Aretha Franklin biopic starring Jennifer Hudson has been delayed by at least 7 months.
Reddit has some ideas about who would be anti-maskers on our favorite movies and TV shows. Lucille Bluth on Arrested Development, Pierce from Community, and Robert Baratheon on Game of Thrones for sure. But add to this Paulie Walnuts from The Sopranos and Sawyer from Lost.
The Rookie is continuing production despite the fact that five crewmembers have tested positive. That seems … bad.
The Hills: New Beginnings is resuming production next week.
The Rachael Ray Show‘s crew would like to be paid, please.
All Other TV News
Well, it was inevitable: Netflix is hiking its prices.
Speaking of Netflix, if you’re looking to pitch a series to the streamer, the Creative Talent Director has some tips: relateable characters, genres that need updating, good teasers, and of course, a great cliffhanger.
Peacock has 22 million subscribers, and describes itself as the “opposite of Quibi,” meaning they have content people actually want to watch. QUIBI BURN.
Disney+ is adding a share button so that users can share content on social media and messenger services.
The moment when The Bachelorette producers knew they had to fire Clare? When she refused to give anyone the date rose on the second group date this week.
Here’s an argument that everyone in the Buffyverse has syphilis.
This is only tangentially related to TV, but Joe Rogan had Alex Jones on his podcast and here’s why that is a TERRIBLE idea.
- Big Brother has been renewed at CBS for the 23rd season.
- Baby-Sitters Club was renewed at Netflix for a second season.
- No Activity has been renewed for a fourth season on CBS All Access.
- Ted Lasso has officially been renewed at Apple TV+ for a third season.
- Brave New World has been canceled after only one season on Peacock.
- Things I Know to Be True, a drama produced by and starring Nicole Kidman, is in the works at Amazon.
- Judge Judy’s new courtroom show will be on IMDbTV.
- The Counsel, a drama series produced by Sunny Hostin, and based on her life, is being developed at Fox.
- Tom Swift, a spinoff of Nancy Drew, is being developed at The CW.
- Tiny Toons Looniversity; Unicorn: Warriors Eternal; Unlimited Squirrels!; Naked Mole Rat Gets Dressed: The Rock Special; and a pilot order for a live-action immersive series, Cat the Cat’s Show the Show Show with YOU the YOU! have been greenlit at HBO Max and Cartoon Network.
- My Dad the Bounty Hunter, an animated series from the creator of Hair Love, has been ordered at Netflix.
- Greek Freak, a live-action film inspired by the life of NBA star Giannis Antetokounmpo, has been ordered at Disney+.
- Shadowland, a docuseries about conspiracy theories, is being developed.
- Marilyn Manson, Ali Larter, Iman Benson, Ryan Kwanten, and Barbara Crampton will appear on Creepshow on Shudder.
- Terry Crews will host American Valor: We Stand Together on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, and CW stations.
- Craig Robinson will be the host of The Masked Dancer on Fox.
- Alice Cooper, Bishop Briggs, Gavin Rossdale, Lizzy Hale, and Tosin Abasi will be judges on the upcoming singing competition, No Cover.
- Lark Voorhies will return as Lisa Turtle on the Saved by the Bell reboot on Peacock.
- Paul Gross has replaced Timothy Hutton and Ashley Romans and Olivia Thirlby have replaced Lashana Lynch and Imogen Poots on Y: The Last Man on FX.
- Ray McKinnon has joined Dopesick on Hulu.
- Cush Jumbo, James Nesbitt, Richard Armitage, and Sarah Parish will star in Stay Close on Netflix.
- Jason Diaz is joining Charmed on The CW.
- David DeSantos is joining the cast of Roswell, New Mexico on The CW.
- Stevie Baggs, Jr., Colin McCalla, Samantha L. Thomas, Michelle Nunez, Alise Willis, and Jael Pettigrew are joining Tyler Perry’s Ruthless on BET+.
Mark Your Calendars
- The Crown returns on Netflix on November 15.
- Two Weeks to Live will debut on HBO Max on November 5.
- The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend A Broken Heart will air on HBO on December 12.
- Murder on Middle Beach will premiere on HBO on November 15.
- The Cost of Winning will debut on HBO on November 10.
- Blood on Her Badge will debut on TV One on November 16.
- Trial 4 will premiere on Netflix on November 11.
- The Mighty Ones will debut on Hulu on November 9.
- Drag Me to the Movies: Addams Family Values will stream on CBS All Access on Halloween.
- Lovely Bites, Tregaye’s Way, Food Fantasies, and Tanya’s Kitchen Table are all going to premiere on OWN on November 14.
- Alice in Borderland will debut on Netflix on December 10.
- A Nightmare on Elm Street marathon is happening on Syfy today.
- And tomorrow, Scream: Resurrection will have a marathon on VH1.
- Celebrity IOU will return on HGTV on December 14.
- Play On: Celebrating The Power of Music to Make Change will air on CBS on December 5.
- The Paley Center Presents Law & Order: Before They Were Stars will air on NBC on November 12.
- HGTV has released their holiday dates.
- Investigation Discovery has announced some new dates for late November.
Leanza Cornett, TV host and former Miss America
Billy Joe Shaver, Another great Texas songwriter
Tracy Smothers, Former WWE wrestler
Bob Gibson, Music publicist who represented The Rolling Stones, Elton John,, and The Beach Boys among many others
Superstore: Amy and Jonah try to bring order to the chaos caused by COVID-19 at Cloud 9 in the season premiere. 7 p.m., NBC
Every Vote Counts: A Celebration of Democracy: Alicia Keys, America Ferrera, and Kerry Washington host this special celebrating voting. A bunch of celebrities will appear, and there will be musical performances by Alicia Keys, Dan + Shay, Offset, and Shawn Mendes. 8 p.m., CBS
Ghost Adventures: Zak Bagans and his band of idiots investigate Joe Exotic’s old zoo. Perfect. 8 p.m., Travel
Southern Charm: Season premiere. 8 p.m., Bravo
Sesame Street: The Monster At the End of This Story: They’ve made a special out of my very favorite book when I was a little. Premiere. HBO Max
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: America Ferrera, David Dobrik, Brothers Osbourne
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Rosie O’Donnell, Shepard Smith, Sleaford Mods
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Julie Andrews, Amy Walter, Sam Smith
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Chris Evans, Perfume Genius
- The Daily Show: Kamala Harris
- Conan: Simon Pegg
- Watch What Happens Live: Matthew McConaughey, Natalie Portman
|ABC||Celebrity Family Feud
|Press Your Luck
|Every Vote Counts: A Celebration of Democracy
|Star Trek: Discovery
|FOX||Thursday Night Football
2 thoughts on “Five days to go. Send booze.”
Both election and bachelorette. Requires prodigious amounts of box wine.
I’m happy to contribute but need a forwarding address….