Happy National Voter Registration Day! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD, CHECK THAT YOU ARE REGISTERED TO VOTE.

It’s Tuesday and we here in Houston are being washed away by yet another flood event. Whaddya gonna do? (Vote for someone who believes in climate change, maybe?)

Here’s a hungry dog dancing for his supper:

Political Crap

Today is National Voter Registration Day. Take two minutes to click the link and confirm that you are registered to vote — even if you think you are, some of these fuckers are purging the rolls, so make sure you’re on there. And if you’re not registered to vote, there’s no better day than today to change that!

And if you want to get inspired, go check out All In: The Fight for Democracy, the documentary about voting rights featuring Stacey Abrams. It’s streaming for free all day today on Amazon Prime. The link is right here!

What did I say about pinning your hopes on Republicans doing the right thing? This morning, Mitt Romney confirmed that he will vote for a new Supreme Court justice, so it looks like Mitch McConnell has his votes to push someone through. DO NOT BECOME DESPONDENT, THOUGH IT IS REALLY FUCKING TEMPTING RIGHT NOW.

Instead, let this fill your belly with even more fire to vote and strip McConnell of his majority in the Senate. It is more imperative than ever. Here’s the thing: President Cheater is saying OUT LOUD his entire plan to steal this election and it hinges on the Supreme Court: if (when) he loses, he plans to contest the election based on some mail-in ballot bullshit, and then take it to the Supreme Court to determine a winner which will now be packed with conservatives — THREE of whom he will have appointed. 

The only weapon we have against a naked power grab is control of both the House of Representatives and the Senate, and the only way we have that is if everyone votes and votes in numbers that can not be denied or fucked with.

Gird your loins, kids, this is going to be ugly.

#MeToo

Randy Rainbow got in trouble for some old tweets that were offensive towards people of color and transfolk, and he addressed it in his most recent video (which is also a fundraiser for Headcount.org, fitting on National Register to Vote Day):

Looks like Ellen DeGeneres’ apology didn’t do the trick.

And now all WarnerMedia productions are under investigation.

Harvey Weinstein will be stripped of his honorary CBE by Queen Elizabeth. Took ya long enough, Queenie.

Anurag Kashyap, an Indian filmmaker, has been accused of sexual misconduct by actress Payal Ghosh. He denies the allegations.

If you’ve ever wondered why women are angry …

George Carlin explains Toxic Masculinity in this genius video:

Going Viral

President Truth Denier claims that COVID-19 “affects virtually nobody.”

“It affects elderly people, elderly people with heart problems and other problems,” Trump told a crowd of supporters in Swanton, Ohio. “That’s what it really affects. In some states, thousands of people—nobody young. Below the age of 18, like, nobody. They have a strong immune system, who knows? Take your hat off to the young, because they have a hell of an immune system. But it affects virtually nobody. It’s an amazing thing…by the way open your schools, everybody, open your schools.”

Sorry, old and sick people, you’re “nobodies.”

As of today, Worldometer says 204,925 Americans have died, and 972,434 have died from the virus around the world.

Congress allocated $1 billion to the Pentagon to build up our medical supplies, including masks and other PPE, but they spent it on jet engine parts, body armor, and dress uniforms instead. Cool cool cool.

And in other infuriating news: this weekend, the CDC posted on its website that: “there is growing evidence that droplets and airborne particles can remain suspended in the air and be breathed in by others, and travel distances beyond 6 feet (for example, during choir practice, in restaurants, or in fitness classes).” The agency also cautioned that “indoor environments without good ventilation increase this risk” and recommended using air purifiers indoors. And then as of yesterday, that particular page was removed, and said it was “posted in error.” COOL COOL COOOOOOOOOL.

But that’s fine. At least the FDA is remaining independent while they work on a vaccine to save us all … what’s that? Health and Human Services Secretary Azar has made a naked power grab and stripped the FDA from being able to make rules? COooooooOOOooOOOOOOol

Fox News accused the mayor of Nashville of covering-up COVID numbers linked to restaurants and bars because they were “so low,” but it turns out, he didn’t release the information because it would have violated federal privacy laws. They had to apologize, the dummies.

Jimmy Kimmel returned to his studio last night and says doing the Emmys virtually was “strange” but “fun.”

The Five is returning to the studio at Fox News.

Unions and the studios have finally brokered a deal on safety protocols that will allow productions to resume (the projects that have already resumed filming brokered deals with the unions on their own).

Speaking of, here are a bunch of shows that have returned.

Zooey’s Extraordinary Playlist returned to production yesterday.

9-1-1 will resume production on October 5; 9-1-1: Lone Star on October 12; Pose on October 7; and Impeachment: ACS on October 13.

Stranger Things is returning to production on September 28.

Euphoria will return to production sometime next year.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier has been pushed back to 2021 on Disney+.

Giuliana Rancic and Vivica A. Fox were supposed to headline E!’s Emmy’s red carpet special — such as it was — but then they tested positive for COVID-19. Turns out Fox wasn’t positive after all, lol, whoops. 

Walt Disney World will not open their water parks until March.

But hey! They’re adding “Extra Magic Hours” for the holidays to increase the chances to get “Extra Magic Covid!” So that’s stupid!

Unsold popcorn is literally stacking up in silos thanks to the virus.

All Other TV News

Well, this is interesting: Paramount Network is completely rebranding as a movie channel, and dumping its original programming. Some shows like Lip Sync Battle are going to move to other channels, while Yellowstone will remain, but be treated like a miniseries or event series. Still other shows will be canceled altogether, see below. Oh, and it’s called Paramount Movie Network, now.

LOL, Quibi is already looking to be bought by someone. O RLY? Y?

Wow, Amazon’s Lord of the Rings series is so massive, it’s costing $1 billion for five seasons, and they’ve hired a dust expert.

BTS is taking over The Tonight Show all week, next week. That is just some rating pandering right there.

A History Channel writer is suing Gary Oldman and NBCUniversal for stealing parts of his script for use in the Winston Churchill film Darkest Hour.

Lori Loughlin was allowed to choose her own prison because white privilege.

Congratulations, Jax and Brittany. (Godspeed, little one.)

Recover quickly, Battlestar Galactica actor Michael Hogan. (You can help here.)

Renewals

Cancellations

In Development

  • Desert People, a series about an Iraqi family living in Palm Springs, produced by Natasha Lyonne and Alia Shawkat, is being developed at Amazon. 
  • Ty Breaker, a new home renovation series starring Ty Pennington, has been greenlit at HGTV.
  • Not So Pretty, an investigative docuseries on the beauty industry, has been set at HBO.
  • The Venery of Samantha Bird is being developed at Starz.
  • It’s Wednesday Night, a comedy film, has been bought at Netflix.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • The Great British Baking Show will return on Netflix Friday.
  • Big Sky will premiere on ABC on November 17.
  • 16 and Pregnant returns on MTV on October 6.
  • Over the Moon will debut on Netflix on October 23.
  • Citizen Bio will premiere on Showtime on October 30.
  • The Graham Norton Show returns on BBC America on October 9.
  • Cadaver will debut on Netflix on October 22.
  • Patria will debut on HBO Max on September 27.

R.I.P.

Jackie Stallone, Mother of Sylvester Stallone, Celebrity Big Brother Contestant, astrologer, and legendary weirdo

Ron Cobb, Production designer for Alien and Back to the Future and not the director of E.T. (read the story, it’s pretty great)

Michael Chapman, Brilliant cinematographer and camera operator on Jaws, The Godfather, Taxi Driver, and Raging Bull among many others

Michael Lonsdale, British-French actor who was in Moonraker and The Day of the Jackal among others

Roy Head, 60s rocker from the Houston area and father of Sundance Head, an American Idol contestant

WATCH THIS

Time100: Time Magazine takes a look at its annual Time 100 list of the most influential people of year, and turns it into a TV special for the first time. 9 p.m., ABC

Kal Penn Approves This Message: Kal Penn hosts this new political series that examines issues important to younger voters. Series premiere. 9:30 p.m., Freeform

Dancing With the Stars: WIll Carole Baskin be fed to the tigers tonight? It’s this season’s first elimination. 7 p.m., ABC

Cosmos: Possible Worlds: Neil DeGrasse Tyson is back to school us in some space science. Season premiere (sorta — it originally premiered on National Geographic). 7 p.m., Fox

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Keira Knightley, Chelsea Clinton, Tame Impala
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Keith Urban, Rachel Dratch
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Desus & Mero
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Alicia Keys, Evan Rachel Wood
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Tenacious D
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Conan: Evan Rachel Wood
  • Watch What Happens Live: Sharon Stone, Sarah Paulson, Cynthia Nixon

 

TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Dancing With the Stars
(new)
Time100
(new)
CBS NCIS
(repeat)
Love Island
(new)
FBI: Most Wanted
(repeat)
CW Dead Pixels
(new)
Dead Pixels
(new)
<Tell Me a Story
(new)
Local
FOX Cosmos: Possible Worlds
(new)
News/Local
NBC America’s Got Talent
(new)
Transplant
(new)

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