Oh, you think everything is going back to normal in a month?

by Therese Odell, posted in Uncategorized

Welcome to Tuesday, the last day of June. That’s correct, we are halfway done with this shit year. Hoo-fucking-ray. Here’s what a baby squirrel sounds like.

(And here’s the story behind the videographer’s relationship with the baby squirrels, if you’re interested.)

So, movie theaters. Just a week or so ago, these idiots thought that we would all be clamoring to overpay to go sit in their dirty theaters and eat overpriced snacks while sitting shoulder to shoulder with perfect strangers for three hours. Welp, not so much. Mulan has been moved from July 24 to August 21 (we’ll see); Without Remorse has been pushed back to February 2021 (we’ll see); and Tenet has been pushed back to August 12.  (WE. WILL. SEE.)

 

Oh, and whaddya know, but AMC has announced they won’t actually be reopening their theaters on July 30. And Cinemark thinks they’re going to reopen on July 24.

bip bachelor in paradise we'll see

 

And the NBA is moving forward with games in Orlando despite Florida’s complete collapse. Did I mention that 16 of their players have tested positive? I’m sure it’ll be fine.

fred armisen snl we'll see

26 NHL players have tested positive. But, again, the NFL is confident that they will be ready to play with fans in the stadiums in ~checks calendar~ three months?

kylo ren we'll see

Bonnaroo has been canceled.

Other things COVID-19 has killed: Cirque du Soleil; Chuck E. Cheese; the Costco sheet cake.

And you know what else COVID-19 is about to kill off? Any plans to start production in Los Angeles anytime soon. The total number of COVID-19 cases in Los Angeles county topped 100,000 and they are warning that the ICUs could become overwhelmed there in two to three weeks. People are being urged to stay home, which, understandably, will make restarting TV shows … difficult. The entertainment industry is looking for a little help from Washington D.C. to get productions up and running again, but what they’re really going to need are a hell of a lot fewer people testing positive across the country.

But General Hospital is planning to start back up in about two weeks!

The MTV VMAs are going to be held in Brooklyn at the Barclay Center on August 30. There will be a “limited” or no audience. (Let’s go with “no.”)

NBC has ordered Connecting, a coronavirus-era comedy, straight-to-series.

Freeform’s limited series, Love in the Time of Corona has cast Leslie Odom Jr., Nicolette Robinson, Tommy Dorfman, Rainey Qualley, Gil Bellows, Rya Kihlstedt, Ava Bellows and L. Scott Caldwell.

A TV series about how Boris Johnson handled the COVID crisis is in the works in the U.K. NOW DO PRESIDENT SUPERSPREADER.

You might want to sit down for this next story, but studies suggest that conservative media is intensifying the spread of the virus through misinformation and conspiracy theories.

ONE MORE REASON TO VOTE FOR JOE BIDEN: He would require face masks in public.

Black Lives Matter

I know this feels like an old story by now, but The Dixie Chicks have changed their name to just “The Chicks” and released a protest anthem:

And the supermarket Winn-Dixie is considering changing its name. This opens an interesting question: Where does the term “Dixie” come from and why is it problematic?

People in California are calling for John Wayne Airport in Orange County to be renamed based on racist comments he made. And, listen, I know judging people in the past based on contemporary values is a slippery slope, but you should click on the article and see what Wayne had to say back in 1971 … it’s … it’s not cool. In the name of fairness, I will add that John Wayne’s family insists that he was not racist.

Disney is going to rebrand Splash Mountain and make it a Princess and the Frog ride. It was previously based on characters from Song of the South, a movie so racist, Disney won’t make it available on Disney+.

People are starting to point out that Survivor and Big Brother lack diversity and are often deeply racist behind the scenes.

Netflix is vowing to give 2% of its cash holdings to the economic development of Black communities.

NASCAR released a photo of the rope that the FBI claimed wasn’t a noose, and, y’all, it looks like a noose.

Sacha Baron Cohen pranked a far-right-wing rally but it was not a bit for Who Is America?

That dingus Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, claims that his animated Dilbert series was canceled because he was white and not because it was one of the lowest-rated series on television at the time (which it was).

Cristela Alonzo, the comedian who had her own sitcom for a minute, named appropriately enough, Cristela, says that her white male writing partner was paid three times as much as she was when the show was bought. This is some bullshit on multiple levels and I dare someone to defend it.

All Other TV News

The Daytime Emmys were this past weekend: here are your winners.

Here are the five returning characters to look for in the final episodes of Supernatural. Don’t click the clicky if you don’t want to be spoiled.

Don’t hold your breath for a Walt or Jessie cameo on Better Call Saul, guys. We’re quickly running out of runway.

The Real Housewives of New York ladies just up and changed their taglines halfway through the season? WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?

It’s the end of Pride Month, and I’m afraid I’ve recommended a downer of a documentary about LGBTQ struggles in Chechnya under “Watch This.” That said, it’s important to note, as this piece does, that Queer stories don’t always have to be tragic, and in fact, can be filled with great joy. In addition to the shows mentioned, RuPaul’s Drag Race and Legendary are also both bursts of pure happy.

Interesting: Disney is eliminating the Disney Channel in the UK and moving all of their titles to Disney+. The future?

All of your Eurovision Song Contest questions, answered.

If it’s your thing, the Hannibal cast had a reunion and you can watch it on YouTube on July 11.

Twitch and Reddit have both broken up with Donald Trump over his awfulness.

Joseph James DeAngelo, The Golden State Killer — the subject of HBO’s I’ll Be Gone in the Dark — pled guilty to 13 charges of murder and admitted to all uncharged crimes committed during the Golden State Killer’s spree.

GOOD.

Renewals

  • Nikki Fre$h has been renewed for a second season at Quibi.

Cancellations

  • Ozark will return on Netflix for a fourth and final season.

In Development

Casting News

  • Will Cain is going to be the new Fox & Friends Weekend cohost.

Mark Your Calendars

  • Psych 2: Lassie Come Home will debut on Peacock on July 15.
  • Greatness Code will debut on Apple TV+ on July 10.
  • Mucho Mucho Amor Walter Mercado will premiere on Netflix on July 8.
  • Showbiz Kids will premiere on HBO on July 14.
  • Jim Jeffries: Intolerant will premiere on Netflix on July 7.
  • Motherland: Fort Salem will return for season 2 on Freeform.

R.I.P.

Carl Reiner, One of the all-time greats. Reiner was a brilliant comedian and writer, and created The Dick Van Dyke Show and directed The Jerk, among many others. He was Rob Reiner’s father.

Tons of people are paying tribute and they are beautiful.

Johnny Mandel, M*A*S*H theme composer and Oscar winner

WATCH THIS

Homemade: A collection of short films made by acclaimed filmmakers during quarantine. Netflix

Welcome to Chechnya: A harrowing documentary about the purge of LGBT folks in Chechyna. 9 p.m., HBO

OWN Presents: Oprah and 100 Black Fathers: Oprah Winfrey sits down with 100 Black fathers, including Killer Mike, Courtney B. Vance, and Tyler Perry, to discuss how racism impacts their families’ lives. 9 p.m., OWN

 

TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Modern Family
(repeat)		 Modern Family
(repeat)		 black-ish
(repeat)		 Mixed-ish
(repeat)		 The Genetic Detective
(new)
CBS NCIS
(repeat)		 FBI
(repeat)		 FBI: Most Wanted
(repeat)
CW Stargirl
(new)		 Barry Brewer: Chicago, I’m Home Local
FOX Gordon Ramsay’s 24 Hours to Hell and Back
(repeat)		 News/Local
NBC America’s Got Talent
(new)		 World of Dance
(new)

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