(Image by Alyson McClaran/Reuters)
Welcome to Monday! I think we can all identify with this Golden Retriever, yeah?
Get a golden retriever they said 😂 pic.twitter.com/kusgKMd8sL
— 🇧🇧 (@rahm3sh) April 14, 2020
The big news of the weekend were the dumbass anti-stay-at-home-order protests that popped up in a number of states — including Texas, my home state, which has already announced they were going to start reopening despite the fact that we are testing at the second-lowest rate in the country and have no real idea where we are BUT WHATEVER, DUMBASSES NEED THEIR HAIRCUTS AND TO GO TO OLIVE GARDEN TO EAT UNLIMITED BREADSTICKS AND NOT TIP. And no, I’m not exaggerating:
This woman’s sign perfectly encapsulates this fucking “freedom” movement. What are a few million deaths when Karen needs a haircut? pic.twitter.com/9B16MCXTNd
— Liz Lincoln, books to get through quarantine (@TheLizLincoln) April 19, 2020
The protests — which are putting these idiots in danger of catching the virus — are not grassroots movements, but being organized by right-wing groups to look like some mass movement of angry citizens organically coming together to protest. It’s a cynical ploy to satisfy President Anti-Science’s base, to it look like there is some massive outcry to open the country back up, so that he can do so and avoid a rebellion from the 30% he needs if he has any chance of being re-elected.
I learned a new word. 'Astroturfing' means trying to make a campaign/movement look like it is grassroots when it is really coordinated by well-funded fringe groups like anti-vaxers, the NRA, conservative lobbying groups masking as 501c3s & groups working to re-elect Trump. https://t.co/J0S5Lzt5JM
— Sam Sandmire (@SamSandmire) April 20, 2020
Somebody did some extremely basic WHOIS searching and found that the person who set up all the "reopen $STATENAME" protest web sites is in fact one guy in Jacksonville.https://t.co/ZG1to014QI
So, most of what's going on here is an organized astroturfing campaign.
— Colin McMillen (@mcmillen) April 18, 2020
The enduring image from this weekend will not be the idiots stomping around with their AR-15s or Alex Jones and his stupid bullhorn, or the young woman with the TRUMP 2020 poster that read “My Body, My Choice” or the Baskin Robbins lady. No, the image that will stay with most Americans will be these two Denver nurses who stood in front of these dumbass protestors — whose lives they will probably have to save in about two weeks — while they were screamed at to “go to China.” No lie, this idiot woman in the truck yells AT THE NURSE: “You get to go to work, WHY CAN’T I?”:
— Brutum Fulmen 🧢 (@BrutumF) April 20, 2020
Epic photos of nurses in Denver blocking right-wing anti-lockdown protesters.
(Photos by Alyson McClaran/Reuters) pic.twitter.com/GG9g3fD8XO
— redfish (@redfishstream) April 20, 2020
I MEAN, WHY WOULD YOU DO ANYTHING THIS MORON TOLD YOU:
And here’s Florida Governor Ron DeSantis putting on his mask… pic.twitter.com/YKLHu7nuBo
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) April 18, 2020
#Homevideos: A Global Phenomenon, a special hosted by Cedric the Entertainer, and made up of viral videos made during this crisis, is going to air on CBS in May.
Supergirl is giving Lex Luthor’s fate a rewrite thanks to the lockdown.
The History Channel is launching “History from Home,” a digital series on their social media platforms.
The Premier League is going to have a week-long FIFA video game tournament on NBC because that’s where we are now.
A Sacramento reporter managed to broadcast her fully-naked husband while taping a segment in her bathroom. Y’ALL. MAYBE WAIT TO TAPE YOUR SEGMENT AFTER YOUR HUSBAND HAS TAKEN HIS SHOWER.
Let me know when you see it pic.twitter.com/GocQ5oiMZa
— RealJesusChrysler (@ChryslerReal) April 19, 2020
Matthew Seligman, member of the band Bruce Woolley & The Camera Club, and bassist for David Bowie, has passed away of COVID-19.
Lee Konitz, jazz saxophonist, has died from complications of the virus.
Seven residents of New Jersey’s Actor’s Fund nursing home have passed away from COVID-19.
Broadway star Nick Cordero had to have a leg amputated due to complications from the virus.
CNN’s Brooke Baldwin wrote about her experience with the virus and it does not sound fun.
THEN STAY HOME, NOVAK DJOKOVIC. NO ONE NEEDS YOUR ANTI-SCIENCE BULLSHIT RIGHT NOW.
The One World: Together At Home event raised $127.9 million for World Health Organization’s COVID-19 Solidarity Response Fund and local and regional responders and groups like Education Cannot Wait, Direct Care, Feeding America, and United Way.
The Comedy Store is going to stream a live comedy event to raise money for relief efforts.
Tiffany Haddish, Idris Elba, Ciara, Don Cheadle, Mike Epps, Deon Cole, Angela Rye, Dr. Rheeda Walker, Charlamagne Tha God, Symone D. Sanders, DJ Khaled and Chance The Rapper will appear in BET’s fundraiser, Saving Our Selves: A BET COVID-19 Relief Effort on Wednesday.
Finally, this doesn’t have to do with the virus, but if I find quality penguin content, I’m going to share it with you:
couldn’t stop thinking about these penguins enjoying the Melbourne skyline together so i found the original photographer and apparently they’re BOTH WIDOWED i can’t handle it pic.twitter.com/gGgPVcOn9G
— matt (@dogfather) April 19, 2020
All Other TV
The Last Dance, that Michael Jordan and the Bulls documentary, labeled Barack Obama as “Former Chicago Resident” and Bill Clinton as “Former Arkansas Governor”:
— Shy Guy (@ShyGuy_TWreck) April 20, 2020
— Terrell Blount (@RellBlo) April 20, 2020
Here’s the director’s explanation, if you’re curious:
On the subject of Barack Obama and Bill Clinton in #TheLastDance, I thought director Jason Hehir provided a great answer to me on the use of celebrity in a doc like this. Explains the chyron for Obama too.
Here you go: pic.twitter.com/LUrXFDFJOF
— Richard Deitsch (@richarddeitsch) April 20, 2020
Good Morning America is bragging that they have landed the first Meghan Markle interview since she and Harry peaced out of the royal family, but actually, she won’t be appearing live and instead it will be some pre-recorded asset from the Elephants film.
On Friday Night In with the Morgans, Jensen and Daneel Ackles not only told the story of how they introduced Jeffrey Dean Morgan to his wife, Hilarie, they also made a naughty diorama to illustrate the story.
Oh, lord, Nic Pizzolatto wants to make Batman fight God or something. This is a terrible idea on so many levels. DON’T CO-SIGN THIS, DAMON LINDELOF.
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Pestilence Days. A random answer to a supporter becomes a small Q&A on Batman… Hi, DC👋 DC, Hi 👋 …WILL WORK FOR FREE ***ADDENDUM: I PROBABLY ANSWERED YOUR OBJECTION SOMEWHERE IN COMMENTS, SO GIVE A LOOK… FINAL THOUGHTS: LEX LUTHOR AND SOME MUSCLE COULD BE PROBLEMATIC FOR BATMAN, IN THE SENSE THAT BATMAN HAS TO TRY… BUT A FRAIL, SPINDLY, DERANGED MAN WHO WON'T STOP SMILING? DRESSED LIKE A CLOWN, YOU SAY? I CANNOT IMAGINE ANY SCENARIO WHERE THAT TAKES MORE THAN TEN MINUTES- WAIT, I FORGOT, THIS SKELETAL MENTAL PATIENT IS AN "AGENT OF CHAOS" AND HAS MAGIC CHEMISTRY POWERS. AND ALSO MAYBE A REVOLVER. MAKE THAT FIVE MINUTES– G'NIGHT 😘
A Rick & Morty and Simpsons animator has pitched Seinfeld, the video game.
And speaking of Seinfeld, y’all know that Too Hot to Handle on Netflix was inspired by “The Contest,” right?
- The Star Chamber is being turned into a series at Amazon.
- Hot Dog, a dog grooming series, has been greenlit at HBO Max.
- A State of Comic Ecstasy, a documentary about Peter Sellers, has been ordered at BBC.
Mark Your Calendar
- Hollywood will premiere on Netflix on May 1.
- Trackers will debut on Cinemax on June 6.
- Accident, Suicide or Murder will return on Oxygen on May 9.
Ranjit Chowdhry, Bollywood actor who also appeared in The Office
Gene Deitch, Oscar-winning illustrator and director
Kitty Purry, Katy Perry’s cat
Cooking with Cannabis: 1. Happy 4/20 2. The timing on this could not be more perfect. Series premiere. Netflix
The Midnight Gospel: A “space caster” traverses “trippy worlds” inside his universe simulator in this new animated series from the creator of Adventure Time and what I’m saying is that maybe you watch Cooking with Cannabis first … Series premiere. Netflix
Better Call Saul: Jimmy and Kim make a “sideways turn” in the season finale. 8 p.m., AMC
The Plot Against America: Rots and conspiracies erupt across the country as Election Day nears. Series finale. 8 p.m., HBO
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Melissa McCarthy, Octavia Spencer, Megan Thee Stallion, Dan White
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Trevor Noah, José Andrés, Willie, Lukas & Micah Nelson
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Taraji P. Henson, Andrea & Matteo Bocelli
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Snoop Dogg
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Conan: Bob Odenkirk
- Watch What Happens Live: Rob Gronkowski, Cheri Oteri
|ABC||The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart
|The Baker and the Beauty
|Bob Hearts Abishola
|CW||Whose Line is it Anyway?
|Whose Line is it Anyway?
|Roswell, New Mexico