Looks like it’s time we revisit Impeachment Corner!

Impeachment Corner!

It’s been a while, but it looks like it’s time to open up, air out and maybe do a little dusting in our impeachment corner as things are starting to happen again.

Last we visited the corner, Nancy Pelosi led the House in a vote to impeach President Incompetence on two articles: Abuse of Power and Obstruction of Congress. And it passed! And President Dumbass, he was impeached! And he will be impeached forever!

forever sandlot

Now, traditionally, after the House impeaches the President, the next step is they choose what are called “House Managers” — the team of people who will serve as basically the prosecutors for the Senate trial — and hand the articles of impeachment over to the Senate so that they can begin their trial to decide whether or not to remove the President from office.

BUT! The Senate Majority Leader, that tortoise Mitch McConnell and the Worst Person in American Politics, he goes out and starts blabbing about how he’s been working with the White House to make sure this whole trial is a joke and goes away as quickly as possible. No witnesses, no documents, NO NOTHING.

So Nancy Pelosi, this bad bitch is like, “Welp, you can’t start a trial until we deliver the impeachment articles and guess what, motherfucker: you can’t have them until I hear exactly how you’re going to run this trial.”

Mitch McConnell was all, “HAHAHAHA, FINE! I DON’T WANT TO HAVE A TRIAL ANYWAY, SO WHO CARES?”

But someone cared. Someone cared very very much: The Petulant Baby-in-Chief who is SO ANGRY about being impeached and thinks the only way to make everything all better for him is to have the Senate put on a show trial (preferably with a whole diversion in which Joe Biden gets dragged through the mud) and exonerate him so that he can join the 2020 campaign trail and crow that he did NOTHING WRONG.

And Nancy Pelosi, knowing that President Reality TV has a State of the Union coming up, one that he doesn’t want to have to deliver with the stink of impeachment mixing with that heady mix of spray-tan and Wendy’s, she called McConnell’s bluff and sat on the articles.

For a month.

nancy pelosi sunglasses deal with it

And in that month, stuff began leaking. In a batch of documents that the White House was forced to hand over to the Center for Public Integrity, emails revealed that the White House ordered the Pentagon to suspend all military aid to Ukraine some 90 minutes after The Phone Call and told the Pentagon to KEEP THEIR TRAPS SHUT ABOUT IT.

Then, right around the same time we were getting into a slap fight with Iran, John Bolton had a change of mind, and decided that, in fact, he would very much like to testify in a Senate trial — all they have to do is ask him. Suddenly, Republican Senators were in a very awkward position to have to argue that they shouldn’t hear from willing witnesses who had first-hand knowledge of the case. Mitt Romney was the first Republican senator to say he’d like to hear from Bolton, so now the Democrats need to find three more Republican senators to vote that they want to hear witnesses IN A TRIAL. It’s ridiculous, but here we are.

MEANWHILE, some Democrats began pressuring Nancy Pelosi last week to just get this over with and hand over the articles, and Nancy was like, FINE, OK, I’LL DO IT. And then! Last night, on the eve of doing just that, one of Rudy Giuliani’s little bridge troll friends, Lev Parnas, he handed over his phone and a whole slew of What’s App messages to the House Intelligence Committee, and THEY ARE AMAZING.

There is a note in Parnas’s handwriting on Ritz Carlton notepaper after a meeting with Rudy in which Parnas writes his order: “Get Zalensky to Annonce that the Biden case will Be Investigated.” The other handwritten notes are pretty incredible and worth looking at — the Washington Post did a nice job of annotating them here.

There is a letter from Rudy Giuliani to Ukraine President Zelensky in which Giuliani explains that he is serving as President Felon as his PRIVATE lawyer, not in an official government capacity. Meaning, despite what Rudy said later, he wasn’t working on behalf of the State Department doing government business — that in pressuring Zelensky for an investigation into the Bidens, he was representing President Individual #1’s personal interests and doing so at President Quid Pro Quo’s explicit direction.

And most alarmingly, there are a bunch of texts from a President Dishwasher donor and Congressional candidate by the name of Robert Hyde to Parnas that sure seems to suggest they had surveillance on Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch, and maybe hinting that more drastic action could be taken. I mean, maybe they were harmless, but you tell me what you think messages like, “They are willing to help if we/you would like a price,” and “Guess you can do anything in Ukraine with money,” meant.

gasp in shook shocked rupaul

And guess what? Parnas has promised that there are MORE DOCUMENTS COMING. So good luck with that sham trial, MITCH.

mira sorvino popcorn romy and michelle

Oh, and Lev is going to be on The Rachel Maddow Show tonight, so you should DEFINITELY check that out.

SO. What happened today was Nancy Pelosi announced her House Managers: Jerrold Nadler, Adam Schiff, Zoe Lofgren, Hakeem Jeffries, Val Demings, Jason Crow, and Houston’s own Sylvia Garcia. The House voted to send the articles to the Senate, and in a fancy ceremony this evening, the House did just that.

What’s next? Tomorrow the Senate will officially receive the articles and the trial, whatever it ends up looking like, will probably sbegin next week. From what I understand, the House Managers will make their case to the Senate, the White House will make their counterargument and only after that will the Senate hold a vote to determine whether or not they’ll hear from any witnesses. Again, ridiculous, OF COURSE THERE SHOULD BE WITNESSES, but here we are.

And an important note: McConnell is trying to limit the press’ access to the trial, so stay tuned for updates on THAT particular piece of bullshittery.

In actual TV News

MORE TCAs. It’s never going to end. Today we have Amazon and Starz.

Let’s Start with Amazon

The Russo Brothers are working on an ambitious series for Amazon called Citadel. It is being called a multi-layered global series that will be set in India, Italy, the United States, and Mexico, and performed in each country’s native language. Priyanka Chopra Jonas and Richard Madden are set to co-star. (Based on the little we know, it sounds a bit like Sense8 to me. Good luck.)

A Jack Reacher series has been set at Amazon and they are looking for someone a little … taller than Tom Cruise for the title role.

The creator of the upcoming Nazi-hunting series, Hunters starring Al Pacino, explained that it is “wish fulfillment for a Jewish kid growing up in Long Island” and a love letter to his Holocaust survivor grandmother. Considering the recent spate of anti-Semitic violence in New York City, it should have particular resonance.

Everything we know about season 2 of Homecoming. Basically: No Julia Roberts, but 100% more Janelle Monae.

Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum discuss jumping ship from Project Runway together following the Weinstein scandal and the show’s return to Bravo, and how they were anxious to break from the Project Runway formula in their new series Making the Cut.  The new series will premiere on Amazon on March 27.

We now know the cast of the Lord of the Rings series will star: Robert Aramayo, Joseph Mawle, Tyroe Muhafidin, Sophia Nomvete, Megan Richards, Dylan Smith, Charlie Vickers, Daniel Weyman, Owain Arthur, Nazanin Boniadi, Tom Budge, Morfydd Clark, Ismael Cruz Córdova, Ema Horvath, and Markella Kavenagh.

John Leguizamo, Toheeb Jimoh, Ria Zmitrowicz, Halle Bush, Heather Agyepong, Nico Hiraga, and Daniela Vega have joined the cast of The Power, based on the sci-fi novel of the same name.

Meagan Good, Grace Byers, Jerrie Johnson, and Shoniqua Shandai will star in the Untitled Tracy Oliver Project being produced by Amy Poehler’s production company.

A “worldwide” search is underway for the role of Billy Dunne in Daisy Jones & The Six, a drama about a 70s rock band starring Riley Keough as Daisy Jones.

A Lucille Ball movie from Aaron Sorkin and starring Cate Blanchett is being developed. Amazon is looking for a director now.

The Wheel of Time is “well underway” in development, though no premiere date has been announced.

Amazon signed a bunch of deals with people, including:

Jack Ryan‘s showrunner Paul Scheuring has been replaced by Vaun Wilmott.

The remake of People Just Do Nothing is not moving forward at Amazon.

And now Starz

Starz wants all the Outlander they can get. The show has been renewed through season six, and they are in talks with Sony for more:

“As long as the fans continue to crave the story, we’ll continue to have Outlander on the air,” Jeffrey Hirsch, president and CEO, Starz, told Deadline. “We are constantly talking to our partners at Sony and the show continues.

They are also obviously interested in spinoffs and sequels. Season five premieres on February 16.

Starz is still arguing that Orlando Jones’ firing from American Gods was about the chronology of the story and had nothing to do with Mr. Nancy being a “wrong message for black America,” as Jones claimed the new showrunner said. OK.

There are multiple Power spinoffs in the works. They aren’t saying much, except that sequels and prequels are being worked on and Method Man has joined the first of the spinoffs, Power Book II: Ghost on Starz.

Hightown, a new murder mystery series set in Cape Cod, is a “tough guy” story told through a female lens. Starz released a teaser trailer. It’s set to premiere sometime this spring.

Season two of Wrong Man will debut on February 9.

Ah, so the real reason Showtime isn’t moving forward with a Weeds reboot is because one is being developed at Starz. Mary-Louise Parker will star, but creator Jenji Kohan isn’t involved.

The Continental, the upcoming John Wick series, is on track to premiere sometime after the fourth film which is set to premiere in May 2021.

Starz is in talks for a second season of Dublin Murders.

In Other TV News

By now you know that the Jeopardy! GOAT is Ken Jennings, and if you didn’t know that by now, I AM SORRY. SPOILER ALERT. Anyway, he had a lovely tweet thread about the experience:

WGN America is going to turn into a … cable news network? Really? Huh.

This CNN story on the real reason Abby Huntsman left The View is DELICIOUS. (Also, Meghan McCain is the fucking worst, y’all.)

Greta Van Susteren’s husband tweeted out that MSNBC anchors are a bunch of “whores.” I WILL NOT HAVE YOU TALK ABOUT NICOLE WALLACE THAT WAY, SIR.

Dog the Bounty Hunter family dramaz, if you’re interested. (I am not, thanks.)

Renewals

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • BoJack Horseman’s final episodes begin streaming on Netflix on January 31.
  • Kidding will return on Showtime on February 9.
  • Stargirl will begin streaming on March 13.
  • Next in Fashion premieres on Netflix on January 29.
  • Yellowstone will return on Paramount sometime this year.

R.I.P.

Gladys Bourdain, New York Times editor and mother of Anthony

WATCH THIS

Stumptown: Dex helps a fellow vet find his birth parents. 9 p.m., ABC

Grace and Frankie: Season premiere. Netflix

68 WHISKEY: Basically a 21st-century M*A*S*H set in Afghanistan and no laugh track. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Paramount

The Magicians: “Eliot and Margo forget a sandwich.” I mean, who hasn’t. Season premiere. 9 p.m., Syfy

The CW Dog Honors: THEY’RE ALL TALENTED DOGS, BRENT. 7 p.m., The CW

The Goldbergs: Murry is actually a year younger than everyone believed. Winter premiere. 7 p.m., ABC

Schooled: Ronnie pursues his boy band dreams. It doesn’t go well. Winter premiere. 7:30 p.m., ABC

Nancy Drew: Nancy and her friends risk their lives to bring a serial killer to justice. Winter premiere. 8 p.m., The CW

Good Trouble: Alice is stuck in a love triangle. Winter premiere. 9 p.m., Freeform

S.W.A.T.: Street’s foster brother makes trouble for him in the winter premiere. 9 p.m., CBS

Killer Inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez: A look at the former Patriots player who was convicted of murder. Series premiere. Netflix

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Robert Downey Jr., Aidy Bryant, Little Big Town
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Billy Porter, Sen. Amy Klobuchar, Caitlyn Smith
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Andrew Yang, Abby McEnany
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: January Jones, John Cena, Raanan Hershberg
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Brian Cox, Todd Glass
  • The Daily Show: Yara Shahidi
  • Conan: Larry David
  • Lights Out with David Spade: Greg Fitzsimmons, Jameela Jamil, Fortune Feimster
  • Watch What Happens Live: Amber Tamblyn
  • A Little Late with Lily Singh: Cameron Monaghan, Noel Fisher

 

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Gold-bergs
(new)
Schooled
(new)
Modern Family
(new)
Single
Parents

(new)
Stumptown
(new)
CBS Undercover Boss
(new)
Criminal Minds
(new)
S.W.A.T.
(new)
CW The CW Dog Honors
(new)
Nancy Drew
(new)
Local
FOX Flirty Dancing
(new)
Almost Family
(new)
News/Local
NBC Chicago Med
(live)
Chicago Fire
(new)
Chicago P.D.
(new)
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