Because this seal has Very Important things to tell you, a diligent transcriber closed captioned his message for us. (THANK YOU, TRANSSCRIBER.) But just because there is closed captioning does not mean you should watch this with the sound off — do yourself a favor and turn up the volume:
“l’egg!” “fibsh!” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
You know what to do:
WATCH THIS
ABC News Democratic Candidates Debate: Round eleventy. But hey! It’s here in Houston, so. 7 p.m., ABC
The I-Land: Part The Hunger Games, part Lost, which, honestly, was one of the prevailing theories about Lost in the early seasons. Netflix
Mr. Inbetween: Season two premiere. 9 p.m., FX
Late Night:
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jennifer Garner, Jim Jefferies, Megan Thee Stallion
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: TBA
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: TBA
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Ed Helms, 5 Seconds of Summer
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Sean Penn, Danielle Macdonald, Mystery Musical Guest
- The Daily Show: Jamelle Bouie
- Lights Out with David Spade: TBA
- Watch What Happens Live: Kate Bosworth, Lala Kent
| THUR | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | ABC News Democratic Presidential Debate (live) |
| CBS | Young Sheldon (repeat) |
Young Sheldon (repeat) |
Big Brother (new) |
FBI (repeat) |
| CW | The Outpost (new) |
Two Sentence Horror Stories (new) |
Two Sentence Horror Stories (repeat) |
News/Local |
| FOX | MLB Baseballe (live) |
News/Local |
| NBC | Superstore (repeat) |
Superstore (repeat) |
Hollywood Game Night (new) |
Law & Order: SVU (repeat) |