Still no TV news, but one very loquacious seal. (And seriously, this might be my favorite cute animal video yet.)

Because this seal has Very Important things to tell you, a diligent transcriber closed captioned his message for us. (THANK YOU, TRANSSCRIBER.) But just because there is closed captioning does not mean you should watch this with the sound off — do yourself a favor and turn up the volume:

“l’egg!” “fibsh!” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

You know what to do:

WATCH THIS

ABC News Democratic Candidates Debate: Round eleventy. But hey! It’s here in Houston, so.  7 p.m., ABC

The I-Land: Part The Hunger Games, part Lost, which, honestly, was one of the prevailing theories about Lost in the early seasons.  Netflix

Mr. Inbetween: Season two premiere. 9 p.m., FX

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jennifer Garner, Jim Jefferies, Megan Thee Stallion
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: TBA
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: TBA
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Ed Helms, 5 Seconds of Summer
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Sean Penn, Danielle Macdonald, Mystery Musical Guest
  • The Daily Show: Jamelle Bouie
  • Lights Out with David Spade: TBA
  • Watch What Happens Live: Kate Bosworth, Lala Kent

 

THUR 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC ABC News Democratic Presidential Debate
(live)
CBS Young Sheldon
(repeat)
Young Sheldon
(repeat)
Big Brother
(new)
FBI
(repeat)
CW The Outpost
(new)
Two Sentence Horror Stories
(new)
Two Sentence Horror Stories
(repeat)
News/Local
FOX MLB Baseballe
(live)
News/Local
NBC Superstore
(repeat)
Superstore
(repeat)
Hollywood Game Night
(new)
Law & Order: SVU
(repeat)

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