President Soup for Brains and Fox News are having a slap fight, and it is glorious

President Dementia is having a rough week, what with his wife making googly eyes at Justin Trudeau and Deutsche Bank revealing that they have his tax returns going back some twenty years (and that they might just reveal that Russian oligarchs co-signed his loans) and with the economy on the verge of collapse just ahead of the 2020 election, and people learning that he wanted to nuke hurricanes, and another storm bearing down on Puerto Rico just when he planned to steal money from FEMA to harass and detain more immigrants, and a story coming out about how he offered his people pardons if they did anything illegal in the effort to get the wall built before the election and also, too, bedbugs at the resort he owns where he wants to hold the G7 next year thereby violating the emoluments clause in the Constitution and WHAT I’M SAYING IS THAT IT HAS BEEN A WEEK.

… And so, when Fox News had the temerity to report on actual news — that President Usurper is behind in the polls to pretty much ANY Democrat — the Toddler-in-Chief had a tantrum on, where else, Twitter:

Media watcher, Matt Gertz, found the triggering incident:

But the Very Serious Journalists at Fox News, THEY ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS LYING DOWN, SIR:

ADORABLE! 

Meanwhile, it looks as though Fox News does work for the Trump Administration — or maybe it’s the other way around. A Trump campaign official told Sean Hannity on his show last night that the Justice Department is looking into the Obama administration because of the work he does on his show. Cool cool cool this is totally cool.

One bright point: Fox News continues to shed advertisers — 8% across the entire network. Bye, fuckers.

Goodbye (for now) to Leslie Dracarys That Bitch Jones. As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, Leslie Jones is not returning to Saturday Night Live after five seasons. It’s a bittersweet thing: I love Leslie Jones and think that she’s a unique and wonderful presence on the show. Unapologetic about her size, her age, and her sexuality, Leslie Jones is loud and bold and no one will be able to fill her six-foot-tall presence.

That said, she’s bigger (literally) than a mediocre sketch comedy series. And while her next gig, hosting Supermarket Sweep, isn’t exactly what I would expect her to leave SNL to do, I suspect she’s chosen that project to give her more time to be in movies and other series. At least that’s what I’m going to tell myself. Here are some of my personal favorite Leslie Jones sketches from her time on SNL:

Leslie Jones on the Upper East Side:

Leslie Jones on being hacked:

Leslie Jones and Peter Dinklage are Naked & Afraid:

Leslie Jones messes up early in this bit but manages to pull it back by the end:

Leslie Dracarys That Bitch Jones on the Alabama abortion laws:

And these aren’t from Saturday Night Live, but my very very very very favorite things that Leslie Jones has ever done were her “Game of Jones” bits on Late Night with Seth Meyers.

DRACARYS!

Disney+ is offering a buy-two-get-one-free deal through Labor Day. If you pre-order Disney+ for two years, the third year will be thrown in for free. The catch is, you have to be a member of their Disney fan club D23 — which you can join for free with a “general” account. It also does not apply to the Disney+/ESPN+/Hulu bundle which is the only thing I’m actually interested in.

BUT! If you’re only interested in Hulu and have been holding off on subscribing, light a candle to Chrissy Teigen, because thanks to her, the service is half-off for six months for new subscribers.

Sounds like Disney made it official: no R-rated stuff on Disney+, just PG-13 and softer. Any of Fox’s edgier and more adult material will find a home on Hulu. So, no, Deadpool won’t be appearing on Disney+.

Speaking of superheroes, I never thought I would say this but: Team Marc Maron.

The Dark Crystal series is going to debut on Netflix this weekend. Here’s the long twisted path it took to get here.

Kurt Sutter is stepping down as showrunner for Mayans M.C. because, and I quote: ““It’s time for the white man to leave the building.” Also, maybe it’s not the best look for a white guy to be showrunning a series about Mexican gangs right now.

Bernie Sanders is very not in favor of the CBS/Viacom merger.

I love Jessica Lange. I also love Jonathan Van Ness. I hope they win all of the Emmys.

I … how … HOW do you live long enough in this world without learning why it is completely inappropriate, racist and just plain gross to compare a black man to a gorilla? HOW?

Renewals

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Mr. Robot returns on USA on October 6.
  • The New Pope will return on HBO “soon.”
  • Manifest returns on NBC this spring. (Lordt.)
  • Titans returns on DC Universe on September 6:
  • The Spy will debut on Netflix on September 6.
  • Marianne will debut on Netflix on September 13.
  • World on Fire will premiere on PBS … sometime soonish.
  • Liza on Demand returns on YouTube on September 25.

Netflix has announced its streaming and theatrical dates for the movies they clearly are positioning for awards season:

  • The Irishman will premiere in theaters on November 1 before streaming on November 28.
  • Marriage Story will premiere in theaters on November 6 before streaming on December 6.
  • The Two Popes will premiere in theaters on November 27 before streaming on December 20.
  • The Laundromat will premiere in theaters on September 27 before streaming on October 18.
  • Dolemite will premiere in theaters on October 4 before streaming on October 25.
  • The King will premiere in theaters on October 11 before streaming on November 1.
  • Earthquake Bird will premiere in theaters on November 1 before streaming on November 15.
  • Lost My Body will premiere in theaters on November 15 before streaming on November 29.
  • Atlantics will premiere in theaters on November 15 before streaming on November 29.
  • Klaus will premiere in theaters on November 15 before streaming on November 29.

CBS has announced their daytime premieres:

  • The Talk returns on September 9.
  • The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal return on September 23.
  • And the soap operas, they never actually end, so who cares.

R.I.P.

WATCH THIS

Travis Scott: Look Mom, I Can Fly: A documentary about Travis Scott and the creation and release of his album Astroworld. Of particular interest to those of us in Houston for obvious reasons. Netflix

Animal Babies: First Year on Earth: As if the person who makes you watch cute animal videos isn’t going to suggest you watch a show about animal babies. Series premiere. 7 p.m., PBS

Yellowstone: Season finale and bonus Dabney Coleman. 9 p.m., Paramount

Late Night:

  • Conan: Niecy Nash

 

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Goldbergs
(repeat)
Schooled
(repeat)
Modern Family
(repeat)
Single Parents
(repeat)
Celebrity Family Feud
(repeat)
CBS Big Brother
(new)
SEAL Team
(repeat)
S.W.A.T.
(repeat)
CW Bulletproof
(new)
Hypnotize Me
(new)
Local
FOX Masterchef
(new)
BH90210
(new)
News/Local
NBC America’s Got Talent
(live)
Songland
(new)
Hollywood Game Night
(new)

 

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