I have another gallery for you guys: this one is 35 new and returning shows to look forward to this year. A little peek behind the curtain that is … let’s call it “my process”: the truth is the list is more than twice as long what is in this gallery, but for the shows that are not debuting until later in the year, I don’t have any promo pictures for a gallery. Some of the shows that didn’t make the cut: Central Park 5, Swamp Thing, Lovecraft Country, Y, The Politician, October Faction, Top of the Morning, Los Espookys, Locke & Key.
The big TV story of the day is that President Terrified of Brown People is going to take over our TV sets tonight to pitch a tantrum. As you well know, the government is currently in day 17 of a shutdown because Ann Coulter hurt the fee-fees of the most powerful man in the world when she called him a chump for not demanding billions of dollars for a wall that will never be built to contain a threat that doesn’t exist. President Snowflake has now backed himself in a corner: he can’t sign a bill that doesn’t have wall money in it lest he give Nancy Pelosi a win, but Nancy Pelosi ain’t going to give him a damn dime, knowing full well that America is blaming President Meltdown for the shutdown.
And that’s why the Toddler-in-Chief is going to give an address from the Oval Office tonight, lying about the thousands of dangerous “terrorists” that are flooding our country over the southern border (Note: there were only 6 migrants who were on a terrorist watch list who were detained at the border over a six month period.) and demanding that we use our hard-earned dollars to pay for an unnecessary wall that he promised Mexico would pay for. He also might declare the non-existent crisis at the border a “national emergency” tonight so that he can use defense money to build this wall. But this will just create a constitutional crisis over which everyone will set their hair on fire, and which will eventually head to the courts where President Dipshit’s plan will ultimately be ruled unconstitutional. ALL OF THIS IS SO STUPID AND POINTLESS AND I HATE THIS TIMELINE.
It should be noted that back in 2014, the networks refused to air an address by President Obama about immigration because … and I am not even kidding … the address was going to be “overtly political.”
But President Propaganda here, he gets to interrupt black-ish to spew lies about a border crisis that doesn’t exist? Cool cool cool.
Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer are going to deliver remarks following President Liar’s, focusing on the devastating impacts of the shutdown rather than this stupid wall, because fuck yo wall. Oh, and The Daily Show is going to air live tonight to be able to address all of this dumbfuckery.
In Other TV News
The Game of Thrones prequel, The Long Night (not official, but come on), has hired a director for the pilot (a female director!) and added seven more to the cast. It is going to be filmed in the Canary Islands and Northern Ireland.
This video shows how Game of Thrones dragons were created last season. Spoiler alert: Kit Harington wasn’t petting an actual dragon:
Speaking of special effects, special effects artist Andy Bergholtz shared on Instagram what the Bird Box monster would have looked like — at least for Sandra Bullock’s character:
WELCOME TO THE YOU PARTY, EVERYONE. Now bow down and worship Peach Salinger like the goddess she is.
People are still talking about a West Wing reboot, and Robert Schiff proposed it take place on the state political level. (But if it’s not set in the West Wing, is it really a West Wing reboot?)
Wait, people thought the new Star Wars movies were going to debut on Disney+ before screening in theaters? That’s a thing that people actually worried about? LOL, no, babies. Of course not.
NBC Universal is going to cut commercial time by 20%. Don’t get too excited, this just means more product placement.
Oh shit, Melissa Joan Hart is an anti-Semite.
A Rochester, New York weatherman was fired after making a racial slur about Martin Luther King — ON AIR. He’s claiming it was a “verbal slip.” Wow. Just … wow, dude.
Apparently, Kevin Hart personally apologized to Don Lemon, but he doesn’t want to be an LGBTQ ally? Ugh, whatever. Let’s stop worrying about Kevin Hart already.
Facebook, doing something right for a refreshing change, took down a page set up to attack one of R. Kelly’s accusers.
- Modern Family has been renewed for an 11th and final season at ABC.
- Grey’s Anatomy has been given 3 more episodes.
- Love, Death & Robots, an adult animated series from David Fincher and the creator of Deadpool, is in the works at Netflix.
- The House of Saud, a documentary by Alex Gibney and Lawrence Wright, is in the works.
- Rachel Brosnahan will host Saturday Night Live when it returns on January 19.
- Mark Ivanir is joining the cast of The New Pope.
Mark Your Calendars
- Polar debuts on Netflix on January 25 and it looks like a batshit insane ride. Also, Mads Mikkelsen!
- Sebastian Maniscalco: Stay Hungry will debut on Netflix on January 15.
- The Act will debut on Hulu on March 20.
- Truth and Lies: Monica will air on ABC on January 10.
- Watch What Happens Live will return to Los Angeles the week of January 14.
- Don’t Be Tardy … will return on Bravo on February 17.
- Amanda Seales: I Be Knowin’ will debut on HBO on January 26.
- Murdoch Mysteries will return on Ovation on April 20.
- Frankie Drake Mysteries will debut on Ovation on June
- Incredible Animal Moments will debut on Smithsonian on February 6.
- Amazing Pigs will debut on Smithsonian on February 13.
- Naked Mole Rat will debut on Smithsonian on February 20.
- Care Bears: Unlock the Magic will debut on Boomerang on February 1.
Sylvia Chase, Emmy-winning newswoman who helped a generation of women break their way into the male-dominated industry
Project Blue Book: Littlefinger investigates aliens in this new series. Series premiere. 9 p.m., History
Good Trouble: The spinoff of The Fosters. Series premiere. 7 p.m., Freeform
Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club: For your rubbernecking pleasure. “Pleasure.” Series premiere. 7 p.m., MTV
The Conners: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., ABC
Ellen’s Game of Games: Season premiere. 7 p.m., NBC
NCIS: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS
The Kids Are Alright: Mid-season premiere. 7:30 p.m., ABC
NOTE: President PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEE is going to interrupt the following shows:
black-ish: Mid-season premiere. 8 p.m., ABC
FBI: Mid-season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS
Splitting Up Together: Mid-season premiere. 8:30 p.m., ABC
NCIS: New Orleans: Mid-season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS
The Rookie: Mid-season premiere. 9 p.m., ABC
New Amsterdam: Mid-season premiere. 9 p.m., NBC
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Andy Samberg, Alfonso Cuaron, Dan + Shay
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Neil Patrick Harris, Alessia Cara, Charlie Hall
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Keegan-Michael Key, Josh Hutcherson, Jamie Oliver
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Ken Jeong, Brian Tyree Henry, H.E.R.
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Rami Malek, Mary McCormack, Morgxn featuring Walk the Moon
- The Daily Show: Marc Mauer
- Busy Tonight: Howie Mandel
- Watch What Happens Live: Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Marie Osmond
|The Kids Are Alright
|Splitting Up Together
|NCIS: New Orleans
|Madden 19 NFL Classic
|NBC||Ellen’s Game of Games
|Ellen’s Game of Games