Here are 35 new and returning shows to take your mind off the amazing shitshow that our country is right now.

I have another gallery for you guys: this one is 35 new and returning shows to look forward to this year. A little peek behind the curtain that is … let’s call it “my process”: the truth is the list is more than twice as long what is in this gallery, but for the shows that are not debuting until later in the year, I don’t have any promo pictures for a gallery. Some of the shows that didn’t make the cut: Central Park 5, Swamp Thing, Lovecraft Country, Y, The Politician, October Faction, Top of the Morning, Los Espookys, Locke & Key.

The big TV story of the day is that President Terrified of Brown People is going to take over our TV sets tonight to pitch a tantrum. As you well know, the government is currently in day 17 of a shutdown because Ann Coulter hurt the fee-fees of the most powerful man in the world when she called him a chump for not demanding billions of dollars for a wall that will never be built to contain a threat that doesn’t exist. President Snowflake has now backed himself in a corner: he can’t sign a bill that doesn’t have wall money in it lest he give Nancy Pelosi a win, but Nancy Pelosi ain’t going to give him a damn dime, knowing full well that America is blaming President Meltdown for the shutdown.

And that’s why the Toddler-in-Chief is going to give an address from the Oval Office tonight, lying about the thousands of dangerous “terrorists” that are flooding our country over the southern border (Note: there were only 6 migrants who were on a terrorist watch list who were detained at the border over a six month period.) and demanding that we use our hard-earned dollars to pay for an unnecessary wall that he promised Mexico would pay for. He also might declare the non-existent crisis at the border a “national emergency” tonight so that he can use defense money to build this wall. But this will just create a constitutional crisis over which everyone will set their hair on fire, and which will eventually head to the courts where President Dipshit’s plan will ultimately be ruled unconstitutional. ALL OF THIS IS SO STUPID AND POINTLESS AND I HATE THIS TIMELINE.

It should be noted that back in 2014, the networks refused to air an address by President Obama about immigration because … and I am not even kidding … the address was going to be “overtly political.”

But President Propaganda here, he gets to interrupt black-ish to spew lies about a border crisis that doesn’t exist? Cool cool cool.

Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer are going to deliver remarks following President Liar’s, focusing on the devastating impacts of the shutdown rather than this stupid wall, because fuck yo wall. Oh, and The Daily Show is going to air live tonight to be able to address all of this dumbfuckery.

In Other TV News

Hey, here’s the president of HBO telling us for the umpteenth time that the final six episodes of Game of Thrones are like “six movies.”

The Game of Thrones prequel, The Long Night (not official, but come on), has hired a director for the pilot (a female director!) and added seven more to the cast. It is going to be filmed in the Canary Islands and Northern Ireland.

This video shows how Game of Thrones dragons were created last season. Spoiler alert: Kit Harington wasn’t petting an actual dragon:

Speaking of special effects, special effects artist Andy Bergholtz shared on Instagram what the Bird Box monster would have looked like — at least for Sandra Bullock’s character:

No, those flu shots on the Golden Globes were not real.

Wait, so if Zachariah is returning to Supernatural for the 300th episode (along with John) will Adam return, too?

NEVER FORGET

WELCOME TO THE YOU PARTY, EVERYONE. Now bow down and worship Peach Salinger like the goddess she is.

People are still talking about a West Wing reboot, and Robert Schiff proposed it take place on the state political level. (But if it’s not set in the West Wing, is it really a West Wing reboot?)

The final season of Homeland will take place in Afghanistan.

Wait, people thought the new Star Wars movies were going to debut on Disney+ before screening in theaters? That’s a thing that people actually worried about? LOL, no, babies. Of course not.

NBC Universal is going to cut commercial time by 20%. Don’t get too excited, this just means more product placement.

Hulu continues to gain subscribers.

Red Lobster pulled their advertising from Tucker Carlson’s show. GOOD.

Oh shit, Melissa Joan Hart is an anti-Semite.

A Rochester, New York weatherman was fired after making a racial slur about Martin Luther King — ON AIR. He’s claiming it was a “verbal slip.” Wow. Just …  wow, dude.

Time’s Up

Apparently, Kevin Hart personally apologized to Don Lemon, but he doesn’t want to be an LGBTQ ally? Ugh, whatever. Let’s stop worrying about Kevin Hart already.

Pajiba comes after the people who are complicit with R. Kelly and Bryan Singer’s crimes. GET THEM, PAJIBA.

Facebook, doing something right for a refreshing change, took down a page set up to attack one of R. Kelly’s accusers.

Renewals

In Development

  • Love, Death & Robots, an adult animated series from David Fincher and the creator of Deadpool, is in the works at Netflix.
  • The House of Saud, a documentary by Alex Gibney and Lawrence Wright, is in the works.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Polar debuts on Netflix on January 25 and it looks like a batshit insane ride. Also, Mads Mikkelsen!
  • Sebastian Maniscalco: Stay Hungry will debut on Netflix on January 15.

R.I.P.

Sylvia Chase, Emmy-winning newswoman who helped a generation of women break their way into the male-dominated industry

WATCH THIS

Project Blue Book: Littlefinger investigates aliens in this new series. Series premiere.  9 p.m., History

Good Trouble: The spinoff of The Fosters. Series premiere. 7 p.m., Freeform

Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club: For your rubbernecking pleasure. “Pleasure.” Series premiere. 7 p.m., MTV

The Conners: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., ABC

Ellen’s Game of Games: Season premiere. 7 p.m., NBC

NCIS: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS

The Kids Are Alright: Mid-season premiere. 7:30 p.m., ABC

NOTE: President PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEE is going to interrupt the following shows:

black-ish: Mid-season premiere. 8 p.m., ABC

FBI: Mid-season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS

Splitting Up Together: Mid-season premiere. 8:30 p.m., ABC

NCIS: New Orleans: Mid-season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS

The Rookie: Mid-season premiere. 9 p.m., ABC

New Amsterdam: Mid-season premiere. 9 p.m., NBC

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Andy Samberg, Alfonso Cuaron, Dan + Shay
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Neil Patrick Harris, Alessia Cara, Charlie Hall
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Keegan-Michael Key, Josh Hutcherson, Jamie Oliver
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Ken Jeong, Brian Tyree Henry, H.E.R.
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Rami Malek, Mary McCormack, Morgxn featuring Walk the Moon
  • The Daily Show: Marc Mauer
  • Busy Tonight: Howie Mandel
  • Watch What Happens Live: Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Marie Osmond

 

TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Conners
(new)
The Kids Are Alright
(new)
black-ish
(new)
Splitting Up Together
(new)
The Rookie
(new)
CBS NCIS
(new)
FBI
(new)
NCIS: New Orleans
(new)
CW Supergirl
(repeat)
Madden 19 NFL Classic
(new)
Local
FOX Lethal Weapon
(new)
The Gifted
(new)
News/Local
NBC Ellen’s Game of Games
(new)
Ellen’s Game of Games
(new)
New Amsterdam
(new)
Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Here are 35 new and returning shows to take your mind off the amazing shitshow that our country is right now.

  1. How do networks handle the interruption of the return of some of their biggest shows for President Man-Baby’s address? Will they re-air at some point or just pick up where they left off after the charade is over?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. To add a little humor to this situation: A friend of mine works for a new station. When they first started they were answering the phones. Whenever a soap opera was interrupted by breaking news coverage the phones would just explode with people calling because they would miss their stories.

    Like

  3. “Rachel Brosnahan will host Saturday Night Live ”

    I will be watching. I got Amazon Prime to watch ST: Discovery and while looking around for something else discovered (heh) Mrs Maisel. Great series with a great cast and a fantastic lead. Brosnahan deserves every award they can give her. In fact, they can make up some new ones, too.

    -Jim

    Like

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