The results are in: you’re all terrible.

The polls officially closed at about 8 a.m. this morning, and it was a nail-biter, decided by literally one vote. ONE! ONE. Last week, banal medical drama New Amsterdam came out of nearly bottom place to challenge Manifest for the show you want me to hate blog this fall. This weekend the two shows battled it out for the top spot, but, in the end, Manifest managed to hang on, like I said, by one measly vote.

So Manifest it is. Have y’all been reading the reviews of this show? THEY AREN’T GOOD, Y’ALL. Maybe it will crash and burn before I have to do a whole season. In any event, I hate you all.

OH DAMN, Chris Harrison, looks like you didn’t oversee the most dramatic rose ceremony ever after all.

Wow, Bachelor in Paradise‘s E.T., Jenna Cooper, isn’t letting go of this message thing.

R.I.P. Trebek Trebeard.

Dancing with the Stars, which premieres tonight, turned around these people’s careers. (I mean, sorta. I’m pretty sure turning her back on Scientology is what resurrected Leah Remini’s career and that Gilles Marini is still not relevant.)

Last Man Standing‘s premiere is available to watch ahead of its official premiere on Friday night.

https://twitter.com/LastManStanding/status/1043711643509710848?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Turns out Apple is super prudish and doesn’t want any gratuitous violence, sex or cursing in their programming. Hey, Apple? Have y’all been watching which way this trend has been going, guys?

Guillermo Del Toro’s argument for why Better Call Saul is better than Breaking Bad.

Could Lady Gaga’s mother be the newest Real Housewife of New York? MAYBE.

I’ve never watched Suits before, but you’re telling me the big conflict on the show is between lawyers trying to get their names on the door? That’s … that’s not how big law firms work? At all? They don’t just … no.

HBO is opening the Northern Ireland Game of Thrones sets up to tourists next year.

Meanwhile, y’all need to be treating Dubrovnik with a lot more respect.

Khaleesi seems like a lot to live up to, honestly.

Here’s a preview of Universal Studios Stranger Things haunted house which looks … huh.

Comcast has outbid Fox for Sky, for those of you following all this mergers and acquisitions junk in the media business.

NBC Chairman Robert Greenblatt is considering leaving the network. Reportedly, he’s been “re-evaluating his life” and this is not scandal-related.

#MeToo

Over the weekend, Dr. Blasey Ford agreed to testify in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee about her allegations against the Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh. At this time, we do not know what that questioning will look like — whether the senators themselves will do it as she has requested, or if an outside counsel will do it because the senators are TOO CHICKENSHIT — or if it will even happen, because …

A woman has come forward in a Jane Mayers/Ronan Farrow piece in The New Yorker to accuse Brett Kavanaugh of being sexually inappropriate with her while they were students at Yale. Perhaps the most shocking (but not at all) part of this piece is that high-ranking Senate Republicans knew this woman was coming forward, and tried to rush through Kavanaugh’s nomination before the story could break.

Additionally, Michael Avenatti is claiming that he is representing a third woman who has accusations against him stemming from high school.

And this just broke: but a fourth woman has made allegations against him stemming back to high school. Montgomery County, Maryland investigators are looking into the accusations.

 

After our Sexual Assaulter-in-Chief tweeted this last week:

#WhyIDidntReport became a hugely trending hashtag on Twitter this weekend with thousands and thousands of men and women explaining why they didn’t report sexual assault. Among them were many celebrities, including Ashley Judd, Alyssa Milano, Padma Lakshmi, and Mira Sorvino. But their stories are no more heartbreaking or important than the average person who also suffered. If you can take it, you should take a look at the hashtag. Then make sure you’re registered to vote — even if you think you are. The deadline to register here in Texas is October 9.

Things aren’t looking great for NBC News head, Andy Lack: a report has come out stating that he protected Charlie Walk  — the guy from The Four who was fired — against sexual misconduct allegations when he was the head of Sony BMG.

Michael Ketterer, a singing finalist on America’s Got Talent whose entire schtick was that he was a preternaturally wonderful person and father of six children, five of which were adopted foster kids, has been arrested on felony domestic abuse charges.  Apparently, he and his wife had some sort of altercation, the cops were called, they saw a red mark on her arm, she didn’t want to press charges, they arrested him anyway. Good. I am not saying that I knew something was up with this guy, but I knew something was up with this guy.

Former Trump aide Jason Miller has been fired from CNN after a report came out that accused him of trying to slip an abortion pill into the drink of a woman he had impregnated. He seems nice.

Fuck right off, James Woods.

Benny Medina will not be charged with sexual assault by the Los Angeles D.A.

What the fuck, Instagram?

France will be offering more incentives to films that hire more women. To qualify, films need to hire only four women in key leadership positions — but the bar is set so low that only one in six films currently fulfills that requirement.

Renewals

Cancellations

  • IS ELLEN POMPEO SAYING GREY’S ANATOMY IS GOING TO END ON SEASON 16? Maybe!

In Development

  • Saving Larry, a comedy starring Kenan Thompson MEANING HE COULD BE LEAVING SNL, is in the works at NBC.
  • Far Rockaway, a supernatural drama from the producers of Bull, is being developed at CBS.
  • Everything’s Under Control, a comedy, is in development at ABC.
  • An animated Diablo is in the works at Netflix.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Charmed debuts on The CW on October 14.
  • Lore returns on Amazon on October 19.
  • Adam Sandler: 100% Fresh will debut on Netflix on October 23.

R.I.P.

Chelsey Rai S. Standberry, Actress and local TV host in Cleveland and Atlanta (horrifically, she died in a terrible car accident on I-10 in Beaumont along with three of her children)

WATCH THIS

The Big Bang Theory: “Koothrappali insults physicist Neil deGrasse Tyson and starts a Twitter war.” Season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS

The Resident: “Chastain Memorial Hospital suffers a blackout that requires the staff to treat their patients without the help of any technology.” Season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox

The Voice: Season premiere. 7 p.m., NBC

Dancing with the Stars: Season premiere. 7 p.m., ABC

Young Sheldon: “Sheldon dismantles the refrigerator.” Season premiere. 7:30 p.m., CBS

Magnum P.I.: All the Ferarris and Hawaii, none of the mustache. Series premiere. 8 p.m., CBS

Bull: “Bull returns to work following his heart attack.” Season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS

The Good Doctor: “Shaun’s proposed treatment for a homeless patient puts him and Jared in Andrews’ crosshairs.” Season premiere. 9 p.m., ABC

Manifest: Not Lost. Series premiere. 9 p.m., NBC

Jane Fonda in Five Acts: A documentary about the extraordinary life of Jane Fonda. 7 p.m., HBO

Bravo’s Play by Play: Jerry O’Connell hosts this new talk show that tries to make Bravo shows palatable to men. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Bravo

No Greater Law: A look into a Christian sect that refuses medical treatment, and as a result has a high child mortality rate. Sounds like light-hearted stuff! 9 p.m., A&E

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Mandy Moore, John David Washington, Mumford & Sons Late Night with Seth Meyers: Samantha Bee, Ron Livingston, Portugal. The Man, Ben Sesar The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Emma Stone, Flight of the Conchords The Late Late Show with James Corden: Tiffany Haddish, Jay Hernandez, Tori Kelly Jimmy Kimmel Live: Viola Davis, Hasan Minhaj, Bastille Conan: Bradley Cooper, Superorganism The Daily Show: Jenny Han Watch What Happens Live: Chrissy Teigen, Kelly Dodd

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Dancing with the Stars
(new)
The Good Doctor
(new)
CBS The Big Bang Theory
(repeat)
Young Sheldon
(repeat)
Magnum P.I.
(new)
Bull
(new)
CW Penn & Teller: Fool Us
(new)
Whose Line is it Anyway?
(new)
Whose Line is it Anyway?
(repeat)
Local
FOX The Resident
(new)
9-1-1
(new)
News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)

Manifest

(new)

4 thoughts on “The results are in: you’re all terrible.

  1. My kids and I have “Manifest” on a season pass. Reviewers only got to see the pilot episode, so I’m hoping it gets better from there. But if not, at least I can enjoy your hate-blogging.

    (And don’t blame me, I voted for “New Amsterdam”.)

    1. So we watched the premier episode tonight. And I have to say, it was better than I was expecting, based on those reviews. The girls liked it, too. I’m eagerly awaiting your recap.

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