Samantha Bee apologizes for the cuntraversy while also encouraging Ted Cruz to fuck right off

Samantha Bee opened her show with an apology for using “that word” last night — but didn’t apologize to Ivanka Trump because no. Because the offense wasn’t attacking Ivanka, the offense was that the word “cunt” is still very painful to many women, and that it distracted from the real issue that Bee was trying to draw attention to. It was a funny, sincere and thoughtful apology that I still wish she didn’t have to give, but she stuck the landing nevertheless. “Civility is just nice words. Maybe we should all worry a little bit more about the niceness of our actions.” PREACH, GIRL.

Bee then did an update on the story that was derailed last week about migrant children being separated from their parents with a little help from her new network censors:

Stephen Colbert commends Trump for doing something right for a change:

Jimmy Kimmel has the footage of Melania’s first appearance in nearly a month, and confirms that Pence is a Westworld robot:

Conan has Trump’s full album of patriotic songs:

James Corden notes that we can add one more thing that Trump doesn’t know the words to, in addition to the Constitution and wedding vows:

The Opposition is on HIGH ALERT over this IHOP outrage:

The Daily Show reminds us that Facebook entire business plan is based on conflict:

Samantha Bee also did a segment about a Texas Republican who actually did a good thing. And was promptly punished for it.

And here is a nice article in which Seth Meyers — who I miss, and who NEEDS TO GET BACK TO TV — defends Michelle Wolf, Samantha Bee and the female writers on his show, and we have one very important woman to thank for him being such a great ally.

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