Jimmy “Elitist Creep” Kimmel returned to late night last night to give us an update on his baby boy, to give the finger to his idiot critics, and to discuss the health care bill being drafted in the Senate with Bill Cassidy, a Republican senator.
Cassidy, who is a physician, embraced Kimmel’s message about health care, telling CNN that a bill should pass the “Jimmy Kimmel test,” which he explained would mean “a child born with congenital heart disease be able to get everything she or he would need in that first year of life.”
Jimmy Kimmel offered a simplified version of the “Jimmy Kimmel test”: “Since I am Jimmy Kimmel, I would like to make a suggestion as to what the Jimmy Kimmel test should be. I’ll keep it simple. The Jimmy Kimmel test, I think, should be: No family should be denied medical care, emergency or otherwise, because they can’t afford it. Can that be the Jimmy Kimmel test — as simple as that?”
Jimmy Kimmel also devoted his “Lie Witness News” edition to Trumpcare, and hey, guess what, people are fucking idiots.
While we’re on the subject of Trumpcare, it would seem Paul Ryan is a fan of Seth Meyers. Or at the very least, Ryan heard Meyers had some comments about his shitty health care bill, and sent him an email bitching about what he thought Meyers got wrong. The email took Meyers to task specifically on the idea that the bill was rushed, that the bill only cuts taxes for the wealthy and that the bill allows states to waive out of covering preexisting conditions. So Meyers responded to each criticism point-by-point and it is awesome. Your move, Speaker Ryan.
Stephen Colbert also tackled Trumpcare last night, imagining what Trumpcare will mean for ambulances. Hey, fun and true fact: under Trumpcare, insurance companies won’t necessarily have to cover ambulance costs, so that’s super cool. Hope you’ve got a car and someone to drive you if you’re ever in a medical emergency.
But, hey, the Senate’s version of the bill will have to be better, right? Sure, if you’re a dude. Turns out the 13 senators working on their version of the bill? All white guys. No women. TWO MORMONS! But no women.
Y’all, I am already popping the popcorn for tonight’s episodes and what they’ll have to say about Sally Yates eviscerating Ted Cruz and John Cornyn. BRING IT.