‘Hawaii Five-0’: Pick a base

Hawaii Five-0
“Hana Komo Pae”
November 11, 2016

Will Grover is getting ready for the winter formal. He’s shaving? I think? It looks more like his sweet baby face is having an argument with the razor. He’s one stroke away from slicing off most of his right cheek.

Grover gives his son a few shaving tips before offering to teach Will some of his sweet, sweet dance moves. You know what they used to call Grover back in the day?

drum drum drum SUGAR FOOT!

Caano drives Grace to the dance. Oh, look! He gets to drive! She says she’s worried he’s going to use his role as chaperone to spy on her. Caano promises that he isn’t. And that he won’t do anything to spoil her fun.

elf_throne-of-lies

Caano finds Will by the dessert table. As far as Danny is concerned, asking the kid to rat on his best friend is just research, not spying, so. No promises broken. Will pulls up his big boy pants and admits that he is Grace’s boyfriend.

Caano tells him to go away. Will is happy to oblige.

Danny immediately calls Grover. Did he know that their children were dating? After first scoffing, it slowly dawns on Grover that Caano could be right. He says Will was acting squirrely earlier so he sat him down and had the “The Talk.” Grover tells Caano not to worry. It wasn’t much of a talk anyway.

“These kids watching YouTube and the Internet is a damn free for all. They’ve got stuff on there keeps me up at night.”

If you’re watching in HD, you can actually see the point at which Caano’s soul leaves his body.

Promises go out the window. Caano intercepts Grace and Will as they make their way to the dance floor. Grace storms off in a swirl of chiffon. Honestly, kind of with her on this one. Caano drags Will off to the bathroom to interrogate him about his intentions. A burst of gunfire in the ballroom saves him from having to answer.

Armed men have taken the students hostage. This episode brought to you by the Hawaii State Board of Education!

Cell phones and land lines are dead. Caano tries to keep the panic at bay while thinking of another way to summon help. He points out the digital marquee in front of the ballroom. He says if he can get to the control room he can change the sign. He tells Will to hide and wait for him.

“So, you’re tech savvy, right? Good with computers?”

“Good-ish.”

Caano doesn’t want to put Will in danger, but knows he’s going to need the boy’s help. They turn down a wrong hallway and have to duck into an electrical room. Will notices that all of the server cables feed into a small crawl space. He thinks it could lead to the control room. Caano reluctantly follows Will in.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one reason for this scene to exist.

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Caano’s claustrophobia kicks in. He tells Will to just keep talking to him. Tell him about Grace. Why Grace? Will says she’s his best friend. They have a lot in common. She’s smart, she’s honest, and she’ll call him out if he says something stupid. Caano says she sounds just like Rachel. He better have meant that as a compliment, because that’s a pretty solid list of qualities.

They reach the control room and Will changes the marquee to read, “HOSTAGES INSIDE – CALL 911”. It’s seen almost immediately by a passing jogger. She doesn’t actually call 911. She lets the slightly official looking fellow loitering in the driveway take care of it. And he does. He alerts the gunmen inside and tells them to cut the power.

arrested-development_thats-why

AND THAT’S WHY YOU DON’T JUST TRUST THAT SOMEONE ELSE WILL DO THE WORK FOR YOU.

Caano sneaks a peek out the window hoping to see HPD pulling up. Instead, he sees more bad guys spill out of an SUV. He goes back to the control room and tells Will to hide in the crawl space.

“Don’t argue with me. You’re already dating my daughter. I don’t need another reason not to like you.”

Danny goes Bourne on the gunmen, taking them out one by one. He gets pinned down and runs out of ammo. He prepares to bludgeon a bad guy with his gun, but Will drops him first with a fire extinguisher to the back of the head. Caano is like thank you for saving my life, DON’T DO THAT AGAIN!

Bad guy chatter on the walkie reveals who they’ve been looking for. Jeremy Ramos is a sophomore and son of a Philippine diplomat. Will says he has a pretty good idea where to find him – in the boiler room getting high.

Grover becomes concerned when WIll doesn’t answer any of the five texts he’s sent him. He leaves McG’s poker game, fearing that Caano has Will cornered in a bathroom (you weren’t wrong, Lou).

Slightly official fellow is still on watch in the driveway. Grover has no reason to think anything is amiss. He accepts Slightly’s story that the doors are locked from the inside to keep the kids from wandering off.

Caano opens fire on two baddies in the boiler room. Grover hears the pops and goes for his gun. Slightly shoots, but somehow manages to miss, even though he’s practically at point-blank range. Grover returns fire and hits Slightly in the shoulder. He grabs the man’s gun and blasts two-handed as gunmen come through the front door. He dives behind the kevlar shrubbery and calls it in to McG.

HPD, SWAT, and Five-0 assemble. Grover climbs into the paddy wagon with Slightly. He works security for the Philippine consulate, is Jeremy’s bodyguard, and has a gambling problem. Grover wants to know who hired him and why. Slightly is like, or what? He says Grover isn’t going to hurt him. He’s a cop.

drag-race_um-no

Grover sticks his index finger into the bullet hole in Slightly’s shoulder. It’s like he’s rooting around for loose change in there!

Grover reports that Slightly was paid off by an Al Qaida affiliated terror group. They want to use Jeremy to secure the release of their imprisoned – and soon to be executed – leader.

The bad guys find Caano’s name tag on the floor. Grace pulled it off earlier in a fit of pique and THAT’S why you don’t smother your children. They put the call out on the walkie. Bring them Jeremy or they start shooting his classmates.

Starting with Monkey.

Almost instantly Caano comes through the door with Jeremy. Bad guy of the first – I’m going to call him Dave – calls McG and says he has one hour. Daddy Ramos arrives and is like, yeah that dude is already dead. A Weekend at Bernie’s scenario doesn’t really seem viable given the time constraint.

Moonlight tries to negotiate a good faith release of hostages, hoping to get valuable intel from the kids. Caano convinces Dave to let him talk to McG. He tells Moonlight he has to do what Dave says. Do what he will. Call who he will. STEVE I’M TELLING YOU TO CALL WILL GROVER BUT I’M SPEAKING IN CODE LIKE A SPY BUT SERIOUSLY CALL WILL.

Grover stays calm and cool for Will’s sake but tears stream down his face when he hears his son’s voice. Caano is on the ground with Grace reassuring her that everything is going to be okay. She says she’s really glad he’s there. ALL OF THE OHANA FEELS!

Will creeps up to the ballroom doors and live streams the scene back to Five-0. SWAT and the team move in and quickly take out the terrorists. Moonlight makes sure everyone is okay before calling out for Grace. There is hugging. YAY! HUGGING! Will comes into the ballroom. MORE HUGGING! Moonlight looks at Caano. So?

“I am so happy to see you right now I’ll give you a hug. I’ll give you a kiss. Pick a base.”

h50_i-heart-you

MCDANNO IS CANON!

Grace and Will finally get their dance. They are adorbs. ADORBS! Caano and Grover sit and watch them from across the street. Grover says he taught his son those moves. Caano tells Grover not to teach him any more. Those are enough. He credits Will for his help and for saving his aspirations. Grover thanks Caano for looking out for his son.

“He’s like family! Hopefully not actual family any time soon.”

Grover changes the subject to the poker game and the amazing sandwiches. Caano is like, you mean the ones I dropped off and specifically told Moonlight no to take credit for? Those sandwiches that none of you saved me any of? Grover hands Caano a large paper sack. Because the Grover men are clutch. “I got you.”

This is Whitney, inviting you to be with us next week. Be here, Friday at 8:00 p.m. on CBS.  Aloha.

Whitney is also watching Supernatural and Timeless. Follow her on twitter @Watcher_Whitney.

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