Hopefully, this is the second to last time we will have to talk about this batshit insane election. ~fingers crossed~

One more day. ~breathe~

First up, Last Week Tonight explains why we vote on Tuesdays, and the reason is some old-timey farmer bullshit:

How much torture are we in for tomorrow night before we know who won? If the last election is any indication, it could be over by 10 p.m. central time. If 2000 is any indication, it will be over sometime in December. So stock up those liquor cabinets.

Here’s an interesting look back at the debut of the first computer to process election returns.

The Daily Show revealed Trump’s secret weapon:

George R.R. Martin on Donald Trump: “In my lifetime, there has never been a presidential candidate more unfit to lead this nation.”

John Oliver has some explaining — and apologizing — to do:

The best political moment of the week actually happened across the pond: 

Your daily Game of Thrones spoiler is pretty major in terms of plot development. Proceed super carefully.

Here is the entire pilot episode of Michelle Dockery’s new series, Good Behavior, in which Dockery plays a con artist who is nothing like Lady Mary:

Homeland returns to Showtime on January 15th, and Carrie seems REALLY PISSED at Dar. Watch your back F. Murray Abraham!:

The Affair returns on November 20th and it looks saucy:

Here’s a bunch of Ryan Murphy news: 

Lady Gaga will play Donatella Versace in the third season of American Crime Story in what is clearly the role she was born for.

Kathy Bates is joining the cast of American Feud.

And Sterling Brown will probably join American Crime Story: Katrina. Related to all three stories: Ryan Murphy only has about 6 people he will work with.

Legend Gladys Knight will play herself in at least one episode of Star.

OH MY GOD, NICHOLAS CAGE WAS OFFERED THE ROLE OF MR. WEDNESDAY ON AMERICAN GODS? WHY? FOLLOW-UP QUESTION: OF ALL THE ROLES NICHOLAS CAGE HAS BEEN OFFERED, THIS IS THE ONE HE TURNS DOWN?

Gigi Hadid and Jay Pharoah will be your hosts for the American Music Awards which are still a thing albeit a very unnecessary thing.

In case you missed it, this penguin love triangle was the biggest drama on the internets this weekend:

Oh, I get it: 

I’m never going to be able to unsee this. Why? WHY?

Shows you should be watching if you are not already watching them: The Good Place and The Exorcist. They are both much more intelligent and morally complex than they have to be while being actually entertaining. Really, though.

You will spend somewhere between a year to three years just looking for something to watch on TV. Now, if you read Set Your DVRs, you could probably cut that number down a bit.

In this uncertain world, there is one thing we can count on: The Simpsons will never end.

American Housewife has been picked up for a full season by ABC, The Real O’Neals, a far superior show, for only three more episodes.

Comedy Central renewed Roast Battle for a second season.

But Bill Simmons’ HBO show, Any Given Wednesday, has already been cancelled after only four months. Be honest: you forgot it was even on.

Amy Poehler sold Family Style, a gay “Odd Couple” comedy to ABC. But isn’t The Odd Couple already very gay? Because Felix is totally gay, y’all.

In other development news:

R.I.P. Jim Faris, Emmy-winning editor.

 

WATCH THIS

Saturday Night Live: The 2016 SNL Election Special: Just in case you wanted to relive any part of this election cycle. 9 p.m., NBC

Vanderpump Rules: Season premiere. 8 p.m., Bravo

Martha & Snoop’s Potluck Dinner Party: We’re going to need whatever they’re having to get through these next 48 hours. Series premiere. 8 p.m., VH1

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Bill Maher, Daveed Diggs, Muna Late Night with Seth Meyers: John Goodman, Andrew Rannells, the 1975, Keith Carlock The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Don Cheadle, Katherine Waterston, Drive-By Truckers The Late Late Show with James Corden: Molly Shannon, Ike Barinholtz Jimmy Kimmel Live: Carol Burnett, Kris Bryant, Vic Mensa featuring Travis Barker The Daily Show: Jonathan Capehart Watch What Happens Live: Lisa Vanderpump

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Dancing with the Stars
(new)
Conviction
(new)
CBS Kevin Can Wait
(new)
Man With a Plan
(new)
2 Broke Girls
(new)
The Odd Couple
(new)
Scorpion
(new)
CW Supergirl
(new)
Jane the Virgin
(new)
Local
FOX Gotham
(new)
Lucifer
(new)
News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)
The 2016 SNL Election Special
(new)
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