Hug your Trekkie friends; they’re having a rough week.


HAPPY HALLOWEEN, BABIES!

Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News

Tomorrow is Halloween (yay), but since tomorrow is a Saturday, the morning shows had to do their big costume episodes today. Here’s what you missed.

The View chose again to not wear costumes this year, but instead opened with a sketch that paid homage to Obsession, and honestly, it was more entertaining than anything Live! with Kelly and Mark did. (Live!: ya’ll need to hire some actual writers.)

Even though Sunday marks the end of spooky season, which bums me out, it also marks the return of the best low-stakes drama on TV: The Gilded Age. Here’s what you need to remember before it returns. 

First of all, Eddie Murphy is a notorious asshole, but secondly, Noah Wylie’s daughter is clearly the sweetest child ever. AND BEFORE YOU CLICK THE CLICKY, I want you to come up with your own scenario as to how those two statements are related to one another.

Byron Allen used to own more than 10% of Starz, and intended to buy the whole thing. Turns out, he’s changed his mind.

Which narcissistic weirdo is considering running for President today?

A reporter asked President Dementia if he canceled his scheduled rallies this weekend because he was “sick of traveling,” and President Brat lost what is left of his mind and started screaming at the reporter that he was “disgusting” and “sick” and “way out of shape,” and “look like hell.” Everything is fine.

We found the voter fraud President Dinkus is constantly yapping about … and they’re right-wing dorks.

My favorite person on TV this week was this guy:

 

View on Threads

 

Hey, so today is the last day of early voting in Texas. If you haven’t voted yet, or can’t get there today to do so, make sure you have a plan to vote on Tuesday. Here in Harris County, the ballot is very long (it’s literally the longest in the country), so make sure you carve out enough time and are able to vote down the ballot. The turnout numbers have been really great so far, but let’s make sure this is too big to rig.

Renewals

In Development

  • A live-action adaptation of the game PUBG, starring and directed by Donald Glover, is in development at Netflix.
  • Matthew Weiner has left The Chairman at Peacock over creative differences.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • P-Valley will return on Starz on December 4.
  • The Uprising will premiere on Peacock on November 6.
  • Cue the Laughs will premiere on IFC, AMC+, and All Reality on November 7.
  • Andrew Tate: Toxic Empire will premiere on ID on November 25.
  • The Last Cowboy returns on CMT on November 6.
  • Sweetpea will return on Starz in 2027.

R.I.P.

Patrick Stewart, Beloved Emmy- and Golden Globe-nominated Shakespearean actor who was best known for his roles as Capt. Jean-Luc Picard and Prof. Charles Xavier, but who was in countless other roles, including in Dune, Excalibur, Charlie’s Angels, and Extras

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A post shared by Wil Wheaton (@itswilwheaton)

 

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Kyle MacLachlan posted on Instagram: “My friend, we shared some memorable times…from the deserts of Arrakis to the mysterious jungles of Thailand and onto the New York stage. I already miss you. You will always be my Gurney Halleck and I, your young pup. ❤️‍🩹🖖”

 

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A post shared by Rebecca Romijn (@rebeccaromijn)

 

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A post shared by Dafne Keen (@dafnekeen)

 

Ronny Hallin, Producer on Laverne & Shirley and sister of Garry and Penny Marshall

Eric Karson, Director who specialized in martial arts movies, including The Octagon and Lionheart

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Nocturne: Liev Schreiber, Stephen Graham, and Zazie Beetz star in this thriller about a serial killer terrorizing a Pennsylvania town while locked inside prison. Series premiere.  Apple TV

SCTV: The Greatest Show You’ve Never Heard Of: When I was a kid, I watched SCTV reruns on PBS with my Dad. It shaped my sense of humor and gave me a strong education on Canadian comedic geniuses before most of them broke into the mainstream here in the States. This is a gem of a show. Netflix

Dexter: Resurrection: Second season premiere. Paramount+

Scream & Sleepwalker: These two horror films are mysteries that prove “no matter how far you run, the past always catches up.” Pluto TV

World Series: Game 6: If necessary. 6 p.m., Fox

SATURDAY

Saturday Night Live: Inde Navarrette and Gracie Abrams 10:30 p.m, NBC

World Series: Game 6: If necessary. 6 p.m., Fox

HEY. Did you know it’s Halloween? BECAUSE IT IS. Turn on one of these horror movies and pass out candy to all the ghosts and ghoulies!

Jaws: 7:15 p.m., TBS West

Halloween: 6 p.m., AMC

Halloween II: 8 p.m., AMC

Jeepers Creepers: 8:30 p.m., BBC America

Ghostbusters marathon: 11 a.m., FX

The Mummy: 7:15 p.m., Paramount Network

The Mummy Returns: 10:20 Paramount Network

Halloween marathon: 11:30 p.m., Syfy

Ma: 7 p.m., BET

Scary Movie: 6 p.m., Bravo

Scary Movie 2:  8 p.m., Bravo

Bride of Frankenstein: 5:30 p.m., TCM

Dracula: 7 p.m., TCM

Signs: 6 p.m., FX Movie Channel

The Sixth Sense: 8:10 p.m., FX Movie Channel

Friday the 13th marathon: 12 a.m., IFC

Young Frankenstein: 5:30 p.m., Sundance

Backrooms: 7 p.m., HBO

Weapons: 10 p.m., HBO

Final Destination marathon: 5:45 p.m., HBO Hits

Zombieland: 6:51 p.m., HBO Comedy

Zombieland: Double Tap: 8:19 p.m., HBO Comedy

Carrie (1976): 9:09 p.m., Cinemax Hits West

It Follows: 7 p.m., Showtime 2

Vicious: 8:15 p.m., Showtime 2 West

Doctor Sleep: 7 p.m., Showtime Extreme

The Ring: 6 p.m., Showtime Next

The Ring 2: 8 p.m., Showtime Next

The Prophecy: 9:20 p.m., The Movie Channel Xtra West

Species: 8:50 p.m., MGM+

Dawn of the Dead: 9:51 p.m., Starz Edge

Night of the Living Dead: 9:38 p.m., Movieplex

Jennifer’s Body: 8 p.m., Starz Encore

Paranormal Activity: 9:43 p.m., Starz Encore Suspense

SUNDAY

The Gilded Age: SEASON PREMIERE. HBO

For those of you who need convincing to watch The Gilded Age:

A Danish Christmas: The holiday movie season, I guess it begins. (It actually began in October, but I refuse to acknowledge it before Halloween.) Hallmark Channel

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Celebrity Wheel of Fortune
(new)
20/20
CBS Sheriff Country
(new)
Fire Country
(new)
Boston Blue
(new)
CW Goosebumps News/Local
FOX World Series (if necessary)
(live)
Local
NBC Happy’s Place
(new)
Newlyweds
(new)
Dateline

—

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC College Football
(live)
News/Local
CBS FBI
(repeat)
CIA
(repeat)
48 Hours News/Local
FOX World Series (If necessary)
(live)
News/Local
NBC College Football
(live)
Saturday Night Live
(Inde Navarrette & Gracie Abrams)

—

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)
Mrs. Doubtfire
CBS NFL Football 60 Minutes Marshals
(new)
Tracker
(new)
Cupertino
(repeat)
The CW Ocean’s Eleven Local/News
FOX Animal Control
(repeat)
Universal Basic Guys
(repeat)
The Simpsons
(new)
Animal Control
(new)
Universal Basic Guys
(new)
Grimsburg
(new)
Local/News
NBC Sunday Night Football
(live)

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