Saturday Night Live
Dakota Johnson & Turnstile
October 3, 2026
Look. Dakota Johnson is not for everyone. She has a very laconic, even terse delivery, and she’s not exactly known as a comic actor. She’s not wacky. And despite that, to their credit, Saturday Night Live managed to find a couple of places where her very wry personality worked well in this episode.
But for the most part, the episode was a disappointment for a couple of reasons. First, as noted, Dakota Johnson can be funny when the writing is in her wheelhouse (see this great “Please Don’t Destroy” bit from the last time she hosted): namely, when Johnson is being mean and dismissive. When they ask her to do an impersonation or play a character (I’m thinking specifically about the Game of Thrones spoof in this episode), she’s just not up to the task; she lacks goofiness.
But the disappointment in the episode doesn’t land entirely at Johnson’s feet — the writing just wasn’t there this week. The episode felt like a hodgepodge of sketches that any host could have been plugged into, bits that they didn’t have to worry a serious actor would mess up. But the sketches were also just weak, especially in the back half of the episode. Listen, it wasn’t as bad as last week, and Turnstile was a great musical act, but it is an episode no one is going to remember two months from now.
So, last week, for reasons that remain unclear, the Republican Senators decided to write their own SNL sketch, and they invited Special Prosecutor Jack Smith to testify about going to basketball games and colluding with all of President Jenius’s biggest enemies. You might have heard something about it. It did not go well for them. And everyone assumed that this would be the cold open for the week because how could it not be, right? This is just so absurd, the sketch writes itself:
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Instead, SNL went with a more generic bit with Republicans filming ads for the midterm election (hey, which reminds me, are you registered to vote? Today, Monday, October 5th is the deadline in Texas, SO DO IT NOW), including Little Marco, a vegetable McConnell, J.D. Vance, Pete Hegseth, and, of course, President LOOK AT MEEEEEE! It’s OK, and I’ll take any opportunity to make fun of Ken Paxton, but it just feels fairly generic when the Republicans gave them such a gift with that hearing.
Grade: B+
Dakota Johnson’s monologue is very self-deprecating, making fun of the fact that she dates musicians. Also, she lets us know that it’s her birthday at midnight. Also, Taylor Swift shows up because they’re friends, but more importantly, Johnson is in Taylor Swift’s most recent music video. It’s not terrible!
Grade: B+
Here, Johnson plays a very toned-down Elizabeth Banks as host of Press Your Luck, where an excitable character played by Ashley Padilla has no idea how to play the game, but is VERY EXCITED to see the Whammies. Johnson manages to be the opposite of charismatic here.
Grade: B-
In the best bit of the night, Johnson channels her natural deadpan humor as Mean Scary Girlfriend, the girlfriend who will tell you exactly what she thinks of your hair and clothes, who only wants to have sex on the worst day of your life and who comes with a dog and friends who hate you. More of this, please.
Grade: A+
Some nurses get together at lunch to share gossip, only to have Jeremy Culhane’s Eric from Legal interrupt with gossip of his own, about Eric from Legal. And it’s all very depressing. I wanted to like this more, as it is a showpiece for Culhane. Alas, I did not.
Grade: B
If guns are phallic objects, what would a gun for women look like? This sketch dares to ask the big questions. I won’t ruin the punchlines here, but it’s a solid bit.
Grade: A-
In this Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon spoof, a Targaryen wants to get it on with a knight, but he’s too distracted by her dragon, who remains in the room. See, it’s a whole joke about people being uncomfortable having sex when the dog is in the room? Get it?
Grade: C+
“Weekend Update” seems extra long this week (I knew it!), taking on Pete Hegseth, CNN being removed from the press pool, Ken Paxton’s 275 trips out of state while ostensibly serving Texas, Kristi Noem’s hilarious divorce, the Cornell situation (which is turned into a roast of Jost), Hitler (somehow), and LeBron James, among many others.
Grade: A
Characters from GTA 6 and Legend of Zelda come to the “Weekend Update” desk together to discuss the fact that their new games are being released on the same day, and to argue about which is the cooler game. It’s the same formula as the Emojis bit from last season: Mikey Day + Marcello Hernandez playing computer icons, with Mikey Day becoming increasingly unhinged. Which is to say, it shouldn’t work, but Mikey Day breaks literally everyone at the table, and it’s much funnier than it has any right to be.
Grade: A
Kam Patterson joins the “Weekend Update” desk to talk about the upcoming Glee reboot, despite not knowing anything about Glee.
Grade: B+
Finally, a matchmaker joins the “Weekend Update” desk to set Michael Che up with J.K. Rowling, Mrs. Potatohead, and herself. I really like Sarah Sherman, but this was very irritating and seemingly endless.
Grade: C
Here, some teen girls share their favorite “Get Ready With Me” videos with each other, though one of the girl’s favorite creators is getting ready for electroshock therapy, and is clearly insane. At best it is simply not good; at worst, it’s very insensitive.
Grade: C
The final sketch is unavailable on YouTube for music rights reasons. But basically, it’s framed as a Twilight Zone-like show called “Amazing Tales of Truth,” and in this episode, a man is in a coma. His daughter, played by Veronika Slowikowska, is desperate to revive him and sings “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” It does not revive him because, and this is the whole joke: “That’s not how comas work.” The whole thing is feels like an opportunity for Slowikowska to show off her singing chops, and not much else.
Grade: C+
Final Grade: B.
Saturday Night Live airs at 10:30/11:30 p.m. Saturdays on NBC and streams on Peacock.