Oh, ‘South Park’ wasn’t done with Kristi Noem just yet …

by Therese Odell, posted in watch this

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Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News

You’re correct, Clayton: nobody, and I mean ABSOLUTELY NOBODY, wants you back as the Bachelor. 

That proposal on the finale of The Gilded Age brought even the crew members to tears. Spoiler at the link if you haven’t watched yet.

“I don’t know, man. Based on what I just heard about Washington, D.C., it’s the last place I’d build a fancy ballroom. I just heard that place is, like, worse than Bogotá.” — Seth Meyers

Jimmy Kimmel got his Italian citizenship, just in case.

South Park wasn’t done with Kristi Noem just yet. I’m sure she’s wishing they’d stuck with just making fun of her plastic surgery:

Joshua Jackson might be dating Simone Ashley from Bridgerton, so I guess we have to put our Pacey and Joey fan fic away again.

Who on EARTH is out here telling Kristin Davis that she’s fat? What a world.

#MeToo

Some dipshits at a cryptocurrency decided the best way to promote their company was to throw sex toys onto the court of WNBA games. The “prank” began on July 29th and occurred at least six different games, including last week, when a 12-year-old girl was hit with a sex toy. It’s intentionally demeaning, potentially dangerous, and absolutely infuriating.

Republican U.S. Representative Cory Mills from Florida has a restraining order out against him placed by Lindsey Langston, a fellow Republican and Miss USA, after he allegedly threatened her with revenge porn and attempted to intimidate her. She had been romantically involved with him until she learned that Mills was involved with another woman who accused him of assault (that woman later declined to press charges). When Langston broke up with Mills, he threatened to release videos of them having sex and threatened the lives of any of her future partners. And yet this story is getting no traction, whatsoever. Huh. 

Oh, hey, the head of the Defense Department is just casually retweeting a video of a pastor saying that women shouldn’t vote.

Just imagine marrying Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry and fumbling it THIS HARD.

Of course Woody Allen contributed a letter to Jeffrey Epstein’s birthday book, obviously. You know, the same book President Diddler also contributed to.

A female BBC presenter is in trouble for showing a junior staffer a dick pic. Ma’am.

The men on Love Island UK were so awful this season, a women’s group posted about it on Instagram, pointing out what, specifically, was toxic about them. More of this, please:

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here. 

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Task will debut on HBO on September 7.
    • Only Murders in the Building will return on Hulu on September 9.
  • Upload returns on Prime Video on August 25.
  • Family Lockup will premiere on A&E on August 21.
  • You and Everything Else will debut on Netflix on September 12.

R.I.P.

Danielle Spencer, Actress known best as Dee on What’s Happening!!

Michael Klick, Emmy-winning producer of 24, Homeland, The Pretender, The X-Files, and Prison Break

Jack W. Batman, Tony-Award-winning Broadway producer

WATCH THIS

Alien: Earth: When a ship carrying dangerous alien specimens crashes to Earth, a special team of hybrid soldiers is dispatched to save the planet (and the cargo). Every single review of this has been extraordinary, which isn’t surprising since it’s from the brilliant mind of Fargo and Legion creator Noah Hawley. Series premiere. 7 p.m., FX/FX on Hulu

The Bus Driver: Britain’s Cocaine King: The story of how one bus driver became the king of a billion-dollar cocaine empire in Britain. Premiere. HBO Max

Alien: Covenant: And to get in the mood for Alien: Earth, here is the most recent Alien installment that hasn’t been as positively reviewed. 5:55 p.m., HBO

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Austin Butler, Judd Apatow, Royel Otis
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Zoë Kravitz, Ariana Madix, Chef Josh Capon
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Timothy Olyphant, Rachel Hilson, GIVĒON, guest host Nicole Byer
  • Watch What Happens Live: Seth Rogen, Rose Byrne, Luke Macfarlane

TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC High Potential
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(repeat)		 Will Trent
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CBS NCIS
(repeat)		 NCIS: Origins
(repeat)		 NCIS: Sydney
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CW WWE NXT
(new)		 Local
FOX TMZ Presents: The Real Hulk Hogan
(new)		 The Snake
(new)		 News/Local
NBC America’s Got Talent
(new)		 Survival Mode
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