Happy Sentencing Day! Not that it means anything!

BRB, getting a kayak.

@matsjanzon

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♬ original sound – ⱼₐcₒb🇵🇱

Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News

Before we get started, Happy Sentencing Day to all who celebrate! Look, nothing is going to happen: Former President Convicted Felon-Elect isn’t going to jail, he’s not even going to be held in any kind of check. He will only officially be a convicted felon when he becomes our 47th President. This isn’t a win, exactly, but, especially since we as a nation LOST OUR COLLECTIVE MINDS and re-elected him, this is all the punishment we’re ever going to see.

Unless — and I don’t want to put this out there because it will never happen — but maybe if the January 6th report is released by the DOJ before he is inaugurated and then during the midterms we flip BOTH the House and the Senate (will never happen) and they find the Jan. 6 report so horrific that he deserves impeachment and they ACTUALLY DO IT THIS TIME, maybe MAYBE maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe there will be some shred of consequence for his actions. But like I said, it’ll never happen. Not ever. So enjoy this moment while you can.

Hope you weren’t excited about Venu, that proposed sports streamer that would have brought together sports programming from Disney, Fox, and Warner Bros. Discovery, because it’s not happening. It seems that when Disney bought Fubo, who had sued to prevent Venu from launching, they created their own sports portfolio, and no longer needed Venu.

The Emmys are swapping some things on their schedule: the Daytime Emmys, which have traditionally been held in June, will now move to the fall, while the News & Documentary Emmys will move to June.

Bye, Hoda! Have a great retirement!

The only surprising thing about Denise Richards’ quack scammer husband being sued for fraud is that it took this long.

This list of TV characters who could win Squid Game is a fun collection of shows from the early part of this century, but I would have to add John Locke to it.

Sabrina Carpenter auditioned to be Darlene’s daughter on the Roseanne revival and we can all agree it was for the best she didn’t get the role.

Gary Oldman revealed that they are currently filming season six of Slow Horses, even though season five hasn’t premiered yet.

Simone Biles will always be the greatest.

Breaking news: Bachelorette loser Devin Strader remains a huge asshole.

Love is dead (and I hope Lily Allen is OK).

The fires continue to burn in Hollywood. The Santa Ana winds which are fueling so much of the destruction are expected to continue to be high today — let’s hope they calm down very soon.

Also, all the climate change deniers, especially and particularly The Former Client-Change-Denier-in-Chief-Elect, can fuck all the way off with their conspiracies and bullshit.

More celebrities and thousands and thousands and thousands of non-celebrities have lost their homes:

If you want to help the many non-celebrity people who have lost their homes and businesses, this is a portal of verified GoFundMe accounts. (H/T Pajiba)

Elsewhere, Apple canceled their premiere for Severance; the premiere of Hollywood Squares has been moved to next week; yesterday’s Lakers game was canceled, and the Rams’ Monday game is being moved to Arizona.

In Development

Casting News

  • Jeremy Swift has joined All Creatures Great and Small on PBS.
  • Rory McCann will replace the late actor Ray Stevenson in Ahsoka on Disney+.

Mark Your Calendar

  • The Bachelor returns on ABC on January 29.

  • The Recruit returns on Netflix on January 30.
  • Diddy: The Making of a Bad Boy premieres on Peacock on January 14.
  • The Flip Off debuts on HGTV on January 29.

R.I.P.

Wayne Osmond, Co-founder of The Osmonds

John Capodice, Actor who appeared in General Hospital, Seinfeld, Ryan’s Hope, and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective among others

Tracey Friesen, Canadian TV producer

Derrick Ward, Longtime NBC journalist in Washington DC

Josh Welsh, Longtime president of Film Independent

Bob Laemmle, Longtime head of the Laemmle Art House Theater Chain

John “Jack” Waddell, Opera singer and vocal coach

Jocelyn Wildenstein, Socialite known as “Catwoman” thanks to her extreme plastic surgeries

Anita Bryant, Hate-monger who launched an anti-LGBTQ crusade in the 70s

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Goosebumps: Season two of the YA horror series follows a pair of twins who begin to learn there are dark secrets around them. Season premiere. Disney+ & Hulu

Look Into My Eyes: This documentary follows a group of psychics working in New York City doing intimate readings for their clients. Premiere.  Max

Get Away: Nick Frost stars in this horror comedy about a family who discovers a serial killer on the loose while on vacation. Premiere. Shudder

SATURDAY

The Terminator: I just feel like there are a lot of people out there who need to rewatch this movie. 8:10 p.m., MGM+

There Will Be Blood: I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE. 6:30 p.m., Paramount+ with Showtime

SUNDAY

Miss Scarlett & The Duke: Eliza must prove herself again when a new Detective Inspector joins Scotland Yard. Season premiere. 7 p.m., PBS

All Creatures Great and Small: Season five premiere. 8 p.m., PBS

Rogue Heroes: Season two premiere. MGM+

30th Annual Critics Choice Awards: Chelsea Handler returns as host. 6 p.m., E! Canceled due to the wildfires

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Shifting Gears
(repeat)
Abbott Elementary
(repeat)
20/20
CBS NCIS: Sydney
(repeat)
Fire Country
(repeat)
Blue Bloods
(repeat)
CW Penn & Teller: Fool Us
(repeat)
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(repeat)
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(repeat)
Local
FOX Men’s College Basketball Local
NBC Happy’s Place
(new)
Lopez vs. Lopez
(new)
Dateline


SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC Celebrity Jeopardy!
(repeat)
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
(repeat)
High Potential News/Local
CBS TBA TBA 48 Hours News/Local
FOX Men’s College Basketball
(live)
News/Local
NBC The Wall
(repeat)
Dateline
(repeat)
Saturday Night Live
(repeat)
News/
Local
Saturday Night Live
(repeat)


SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)
Shifting Gears
(new)
Marley and Me
CBS 60 Minutes NCIS: Origins
(repeat)
NCIS: Origins
(repeat)
NCIS: Origins
(repeat)
The CW The Wedding Planner
(repeat)
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(repeat)
Local/News
FOX Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
Krapopolis
(repeat)
The Simpsons
(new)
Universal Basic Guys
(new)
Bob’s Burgers
(new)
Krapopolis
(new)
Local/News
NBC Sunday Night Football
(live)

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