I need the universal raccoon distribution system to put me on the list, please:
@heatherluckhart Wildlife Rehabilitatir Mode: Activate. #raccoon
Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News
President Biden and Former President Spank Me have agreed to two debates: the first on CNN on June 27, the second on ABC on September 10. Interestingly, CNN has announced there will not be an audience present, a condition placed by the Biden campaign. The fact that Former President Fascist agreed to it is curious, and makes me doubtful that he will actually attend when all is said and done.
Donald Trump lost two debates to me in 2020. Since then, he hasn’t shown up for a debate.
Now he’s acting like he wants to debate me again.
Well, make my day, pal. pic.twitter.com/AkPmvs2q4u
— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) May 15, 2024
But you know who doesn’t regret that roast? Netflix.
Olivia Cooke and Emma D’Arcy hate that the “Negroni Spagliato with prosecco in it” exchange went viral. You know who didn’t hate it? HBO.
Planning on being on The Price is Right anytime soon? Here are some tips that might help you win. The Showcase Showdown tip is a bit of fascinating psychology.
You’re telling me a cast member of The Real Housewives of New Jersey engaged in questionable business practices? Next, you’re going to tell me that the marriages of the cast members of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are all on shaky ground!
It’s not Donald Glover’s fault the Community film is taking so long to make (except that it kinda is.)
I couldn't have been more impressed with her strength, her resolve, her accountability. NOT ONE COMPLAINT. Not one "Why me" She's taking it all and it's ALL beyond horrible… with stoicism & grace. I am SO incredibly proud of her.
— Nancy Lee Grahn (@NancyLeeGrahn) May 14, 2024
Harry Shearer seems to be complaining that The Simpsons have gone “woke” because they replaced him as the voice actor of one Black character. Old men are really on a tear this week.
Or maybe it’s just “men” who are having quite the week. Imagine going to college for four years, attending and passing all the same classes as your male classmates, and hearing this at your graduation. Christ, what an asshole:
@ericaf455 Graduating #women should lean in to the vocation of being a homemaker??!!🫣😳😡#smh #realitycheck #harrisonbutker
@mad_mitch uh oh!!!
Renewals
- Conan O’Brien Must Go has been renewed for a second season on Max.
- 20/20 has been renewed for a 47th season on ABC.
- United States of Scandal has been renewed for a second season on CNN.
- Welcome to Wrexham has been renewed for a fourth season on FX/Hulu.
- Beat Bobby Flay: Holiday Throwdown has been renewed for a third season on Food Network.
- 90 Day: Last Resort has been renewed for a second season on TLC.
- Sorry, I Didn’t Know has been renewed on ITV for a fifth season.
- It’s not official, but it sounds like 007: Road to a Million is about to be renewed for a second season at Prime Video.
In Development
- The Flip Off, starring divorced couple Tarek El Moussa and Christina Hall has been greenlit at HGTV.
- Fatal Destination, a series narrated and produced by Jessica Biel, has been ordered at Discovery.
- Eva Longoria: Searching for Spain has been ordered at CNN.
- Harry Potter: Wizards of Baking has been greenlit at Food Network.
- Chateau Impossible has been ordered at HGTV.
- Luther: Never Too Much has been ordered at CNN.
- Netflix has secured the rights to an NFL doubleheader on Christmas Day. People are going to be big mad.
- Have I Got News for You is being adapted in the U.S. at CNN.
- Tenzing, a biopic starring Tom Hiddleston and Willem Dafoe, has been acquired by Apple.
Casting News
- WE HAVE A GOLDEN BACHELORETTE: It’s Joan! Joan Vassos is the woman who left The Golden Bachelor on week three to be with her daughter who was having a medical emergency.
- I didn’t notice this in the news that Mr. & Mrs. Smith had been renewed on Prime Video yesterday, but Donald Glover and Maya Erskine are not expected to return.
- Richard Kind and John Carroll Lynch will guest star on Evil on Paramount+.
- John Cena is your next Shark Week host on Discovery.
- Rebecca Wisocky has joined the cast of The Sex Lives of College Girls on Max.
- Jihae and Jessica Barden have been cast in Dune: Prophecy on HBO.
- Jennifer Taylor and Patrick Muldoon are joining The Bay on Peacock.
- Tamera “Tee” Kissen has joined Tyler Perry’s Beauty in Black on Netflix.
- Porsha Williams, Kenya Moore, Drew Sidora, Shamea Morton Mwangi, Angela Oakley, Brittany Eady, and Kelli Ferrell are your Real Housewives of Atlanta on Bravo after a major cast shakeup.
- Patrick Warburton will host a docuseries about movie props.
- Serena Williams will host the 2024 ESPYs.
Mark Your Calendars
- Only Murders in the Building will return on Hulu on August 27.
- Agatha All Along will premiere on Disney+ on September 18.
It was Agatha All Along 🔮
Don’t miss the two-episode premiere of #AgathaAllAlong, September 18 on @DisneyPlus. pic.twitter.com/hwPSOeJFv6
— Marvel Studios (@MarvelStudios) May 14, 2024
- Dune: Prophecy will debut on HBO in the fall.
- Rick and Morty: The Anime will premiere on Adult Swim sometime later this year.
- You’re Cordially Invited will premiere on Prime Video on January 30, 2025.
- Happy’s Place will debut on NBC in the fall.
- Roller Jam; Second Chance Stage; and Human vs. Hamster will all premiere on Magnolia Network in the fall.
- ESPN has announced their 30 for 30 slate: I’m Just Here for the Riot on June 4; False Positive on June 11; No Scope: The Story of FaZe Clan on July 1; American Son on July 29; Dude Perfect: A Very Long Shot on August 3.
- Daredevil: Born Again will premiere on Disney+ on March 2025. Ironheart will debut sometime in 2025.
- The Last of Us will return in the first half of 2025.
- Road Diary: Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band will debut on Hulu in October.
- The Great Lillian Hall will debut on HBO on May 31.
- Triumph: Jesse Owens and the Berlin Olympics will premiere on The History Channel on June 19.
- Jim Gaffigan: The Skinny will premiere on Hulu on November 22.
- Terminator Zero will debut on Netflix on August 29.
- How I Met Your Mother will return to Netflix on June 3 so you can get angry all over again.
- Hard Knocks: Offseason with the New York Giants will premiere on HBO on July 2.
- Reacher won’t return to Prime Video until 2025.
- Love & Marriage: Detroit returns on OWN on June 27.
- Bobby’s Triple Threat returns on Food on June 18. BBQ Brawl returns on July 8.
R.I.P.
John Barbata, Jefferson Starship’s original drummer
WATCH THIS
The Amazing Race: The race comes to an end and winners are declared. Season premiere. 8:30 p.m., CBS
Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies & Scandal: The true story of when a dating site for married people was hacked, and lives and marriages were ruined. Premiere. Netflix
Ghost Adventures: These dingdongs are back. Season premiere. 8 p.m., Discovery & Max
Late Night:
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Will Forte, S. Epatha Merkerson, Miranda Rae Mayo, Jason Beghe, a performance from Broadway’s “The Great Gatsby”
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Quinta Brunson, Bobby Moynihan, Les Savy Fav, Jon Theodore
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: George Stephanopoulos, Michelle Buteau
- After Midnight: Ana Gasteyer, Colton Dunn, Jess McKenna
- The Daily Show: Amy Ryan, host Desi Lydic
- Watch What Happens Live: Andra Day, Cecily Strong
| WEDS. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Jeopardy! Masters (new) |
Abbott Elementary (new) |
The Conners (new) |
The $100,000 Pyramid (new) |
| CBS | Survivor (new) |
Amazing Race (new) |
| CW | Walker (new) |
Sight Unseen (new) |
Local |
| FOX | The Masked Singer (new) |
News/Local |
| NBC | Chicago Med (new) |
Chicago Fire (new) |
Chicago P.D. (new) |