The Bachelorette
June 26, 2023
Welcome back to the purgatory that is “Bachelor Nation” season. You could argue — and I’m going to — that ABC’s Bachelor season begins now, in the early summer with The Bachelorette. As soon as our heroine finds true love, we move on to the STD puddle that is Bachelor in Paradise. And this year, ABC is threatening to fill the time between emptying Mexico out of overheated twenty-somethings, and our next Bachelor embarking on his “journey” with something called The Golden Bachelor, which is exactly what is sounds like: The Bachelor: AARP Edition.
What I’m saying is, I hope you’ve enjoyed your few months off from the McMansion because it’s time to go back and I don’t see any escape in the coming months.
This season’s Bachelorette is the lovely Charity from the Very Boring Zach’s season (y’all, I had to look up his name — that’s how much I don’t remember from that boring-ass season). And, as always, ABC has released pictures and bios for the 25 men who will be competing for her affections this season.
But there’s something different going on here. As you’ll see below, I decided to rank the men on a scale of one to three red flags depending on how potentially toxic I think each of them are based on thier bios. But y’all … there are a lot of men with zero red flags below. Not only that, there are a handful of men with green flags! What is going on?
All I can think is that it is one of three things:
- Contestants have become savvier about filling out the questionaires and bios so as to not come across as complete lunatics.
- The production staff — which has undergone a number of significant changes in the past few years — aren’t out to make the contestants look ridiculous for once. They might have even sought out men that they thought would make for good partners for Charity over men who they thought would just make for good TV. An outrageous idea, I know, but possible?
- Do you know how hot it is in Texas right now? For the past two weeks, we’ve been under an extreme heat advisory. I am looking at my weather app right now and the temperature is 96, but a feels like temp of 106. Later this week, Texas is expected to be one of three areas on the planet that will be hotter than 99% of the WORLD. What I am saying is, my brain has melted and I’ve gone soft.
It’s also possible that it’s some combination of all three.
In any event, Charity’s adventure begins tonight with the guys below. Wish her luck and me endless box wine.
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Aaron B.
29
San Diego, California
Software Salesman
It’s easy to see what makes Aaron B. such a great catch. His smile lights up every room he walks into, and he wears his heart on his sleeve. Aaron B. is passionate, understanding, patient and a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic. The former football player says he’s truly ready to find his perfect match and hopes his future wife is outgoing, emotionally intelligent and thoughtful. When Aaron B. isn’t hustling at his job in software sales, he loves listening to Tyler, the Creator’s music; reading James Patterson novels; and enjoying some delicious Cajun food. After his last long-term relationship didn’t work out, Aaron B. is excited for the chance to fall in love again and can’t wait for his Bachelorette journey to begin.
Fun Facts:
- Aaron B. taught himself how to play the violin and the piano.
- Aaron B. eats peanut butter straight from the jar.
- Aaron B. is spheksophobic, aka scared of wasps.
OK, we’re off to a strong start with Aaron B. Use of the phrase “emotional intelligence” is a good sign; he likes Cajun food; and he’s reasonably scared of wasps. One ding for the use of “hustling at his job,” but it’s not so big as to earn a red flag.
Red Flag Count: 0
In fact: 
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Aaron S.
33
San Diego, California
Firefighter
Aaron S. is a real-life Superman. This dashing firefighter describes himself as a loving partner with a mysterious side. Aaron S. is looking for a future wife who can help break through his tough exterior. He most admires his parents, who gave him and his sister the mindset to believe they could do anything – including cage diving with great white sharks! When he’s not rooting for the 49ers, this outdoorsman is happiest on the water, surfing or paddleboarding. His ideal first date? Watching the sun set over the ocean on a cliff with a blanket and some music. Charity, hope you’re up for a fun adventure with Aaron S.
Fun Facts:
- Aaron S. likes his fro-yo delivered and heavy on the toppings.
- Aaron S.’s favorite holiday is anyone else’s birthday.
- Aaron S.’s favorite movie is “Austin Powers.” Groovy baby.
Let’s move right past the great white sharks and instead focus on the part where Aaron is bragging about his “mysterious side” which translates to me, a middle-aged woman who has been around the block a few times as “prepare yourself for some shady ass behavior and a suspicious nervousness around his phone.”
And then there’s the next line: Aaron S. “is looking for a future wife who can help break through his tough exterior.” NO SIR. GO TO THERAPY. IT’S NOT A WOMAN’S JOB TO FIX YOU EMOTIONALLY.
Also, brace yourself for so so many bad Austin Powers quotes. Just endless Austin Powers quotes.
Red Flag Count: 🚩🚩
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Adrian
33
Northridge, California
Realtor
Adrian is a single father with a big heart! This caring family man comes from a blended household with seven stepsiblings. Adrian is a believer in true love and wants to find the right person by his side to build their empire, share experiences and grow old together. Adrian is most proud of his personal health journey, having recently undergone a huge fitness transformation, and is now a personal trainer helping others reach their health goals. Charity, we know you’re looking for a husband, but do you need a spotter, too?
Fun Facts:
- In college, Adrian majored in criminal justice.
- If Adrian could have any job, he would be a culinary traveler.
- Adrian loves Topgolf.
Adrian, what is your job? You majored in criminal justice, claim you are a realtor, but are also a personal trainer, but would be a “culinary traveler” as a profession? Pick a lane, sir.
Also, no to Topgolf. Just endless hanging out watching him make drives into a giant net while he yammers about his Keto diet. No.
Red Flag Count: 🚩
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Brayden
24
San Diego, California
Travel Nurse
Brayden is as hardworking, romantic and funny as he is handsome. The travel nurse has big goals for his future but says there’s one major piece missing from his life – a wife. Brayden has been in serious relationships before but is excited about this unique opportunity to date Charity. When Brayden loves, he loves hard and he is ready to put it all on the line to find his perfect match. Brayden is hoping his future wife is honest, adventurous and, most importantly, will love his dog, River, as much as he does! Could Charity be the perfect match Brayden (and River) have been looking for?!
Fun Facts:
- Brayden loves a good cigar lounge.
- Brayden is not into meditation.
- Brayden is looking for someone to teach him how to salsa dance.
1. Brayden has “been in serious relationships” but is excited for this “unique opportunity?” Yeah, Brayden better not have a girlfriend he’s left back home to be on this show.
2. Cigar lounges are gross.
3. The meditation thing is awfully specific. How did meditation hurt you, Brayden?
4. So go to a salsa dance class, sir.
Red Flag Count: 🚩1/2
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Caleb A.
29
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Resident Physician
The doctor is in. Caleb A. recently completed years of medical training and is ready to turn the page on a new chapter and focus on finding love. Currently working 80 hours a week, he spends his days off unwinding on a hike, catching up with friends, or having a relaxed night in with a movie and takeout. He describes himself as dependable and a great listener who wants his partner to feel understood and supported. Outside of having a family someday, Caleb A.’s other dreams include building his own house and owning a home studio to continue developing his hobbies of producing music and playing guitar. Will Caleb A.’s values be music to Charity’s ears?
Fun Facts:
- Caleb A. has a pet salamander that he refuses to name until the right one fits.
- Caleb A. loves picnics.
- Caleb A.’s guilty pleasure is “trash pizza.”
Red Flag Count: 0
Pet salamander & “trash pizza”:
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Caleb B.
24
Orlando, Florida
Pro Wrestler
Caleb B. might be a villain in the wrestling ring, but he couldn’t be more of a softie in real life! The professional wrestler may seem tough, but he’s a romantic guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. Caleb B. is extremely close with his family and is hoping to settle down and start a family of his own very soon. Caleb B. is the kind of guy who loves going above and beyond to make his partner feel special and one time even hand-carved a heart necklace out of seashells for his someone. Will Caleb B. get the fairy-tale ending that he’s been hoping for with Charity? Only time will tell.
Fun Facts:
- Caleb B. can’t control himself around doughnuts.
- Caleb B. wants to get his paragliding certification.
- Caleb B. makes a cowboy hat look good.
I mean, professional wrestler is just a whole lot. As is wanting to be a paraglider. That said, neither of these are red flags. That hair might be though.
Red Flag Count: 0. But I’m not out here giving away green flags, either.
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Chris
27
White Plains, New York
World Record Jumper
Chris is a man who lets his passions lead him. This former smalltown football star is looking for the perfect leading lady to match his big ambitions. He’ll do anything to be the best, and that’s proven by his two Guinness World Records: one for highest standing box jump and the other for highest standing backflip. Chris describes himself as a confident, committed and passionate man who is looking for his ride or die. If he could be a superhero, he would be The Flash so he could travel the world extremely quickly – alongside his future wife! Will he break any records with Charity?
Fun Facts:
- Chris’ favorite sport is dunking.
- Chris likes to go apple picking in the autumn.
- Chris loves to drink wine and binge-watch “Grey’s Anatomy.”
Chris is not a serious person.
Red Flag Count: 🚩 (It would have been two red flags, but he was saved by the drinking wine and “Grey’s Anatomy” thing which will fall under the “pumpkin-spice latte” theorem you’ll find below.)
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Dotun
30
Brooklyn, New York
Integrative Medicine Specialist
Dotun is the full package and is so ready to find his person. Dotun comes from a big Nigerian American family and moved to the United States as a child. He describes himself as open-minded, full of love and the best listener. The integrative medicine specialist has a zest for life and even once went on a spontaneous 45-day trip around Europe. He’s hoping his future wife has the same love for adventure and excitement for the little things like he does. Charity, get ready for the adventure of a lifetime with Dotun!
Fun Facts:
- Dotun is terrible at movie trivia.
- Dotun would love to be the head of the CIA.
- Dotun loves his air fryer.
Dotun likes travel and air frying. I’ve got nothing bad to say about Mr. Dotun here.
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
James
28
Chicago, Illinois
Attorney
Don’t sue James for being a total dream. This charming attorney grew up on an apple farm, and describes himself as an inquisitive, determined, and passionate man who is looking for an outgoing future wife to travel the world and have shared experiences together. This upstanding Midwesterner has an honest and straightforward approach to life. In a relationship, he is known to write his lady romantic love letters during special days together. His idea of a perfect first date includes a trip to his family’s farm for a romantic picnic surrounded by blooming apple trees. He’s trusting the process in hopes of finding someone exceptional. Will Charity be that person? Jury’s still out, but we’re swooning!
Fun Facts:
- James knows enough French to get himself in trouble.
- James is an Olivia Rodrigo stan.
- James has tried everything to convince his brother to get a tattoo with him, but he still won’t budge.
James sounds like a character from a Hallmark movie and I don’t mean that in a good way. There’s nothing wrong with this bio, but that in and of itself is suspicious. Also, I bet he talks about that apple farm constantly. Odds on him showing up on night one with an apple in hand?
Red Flag Count: 🚩
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Joe
32
San Francisco, California
Tech Operations Director
Joe is an adventurous guy with a calm, cool and collected personality. He has worked hard to achieve his professional goals and travel the world but is ready to find someone with whom to enjoy the journey of life. Joe is looking for a wife who loves trying new restaurants and going hiking as much as he does. He’s also hoping his future partner is responsible, self-aware, positive and ambitious. And while Joe takes his work in the tech industry very seriously, he’s also known to tear up the dance floor at EDM music festivals. Could Charity be the dance partner he’s been looking for?
Fun Facts:
- Joe is a proud plant daddy.
- The best gift you can give Joe is a giant tub of peanut M&Ms.
- There’s nothing you can do to convince Joe to go bungee jumping. Not. Gonna. Happen.
Points for refusing to bungee jump; points deducted for 1. EDM and 2. music festivals. Half a point deducted for the phrase “plant daddy.”
Red Flag Count: 1/2 🚩
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Joey
27
Lawai, Hawaii
Tennis Pro
“Love” may mean nothing in tennis, but to Joey, it’s everything! After graduation, this tennis pro quickly realized the corporate world wasn’t for him and moved to Hawaii to live his passion of teaching his favorite sport. Spending his days on the court and evenings on the beach watching the sunset with friends, Joey’s life is truly paradise. The only thing missing is someone with whom to share it. Outgoing, friendly and loyal, Joey is looking for a partner who can share in his love for adventure. Will he find a doubles partner in Charity? Here’s to hoping it’s “game, set, match” for Joey!
Fun Facts:
- Joey is a die-hard Green Bay Packers fan.
- Joey is an avid star gazer.
- Joey’s recent obsessions are golf and country music.
What is with all the golf with these guys? Also, based only on the comment that he’s obsessed with country music I’m 80% certain this guy is only on this show so as to get onto Bachelor in Paradise and get in on that whole Bachelor scene at Stagecoach.
Red Flag Count: 🚩 🚩
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
John
27
New York, New York
Data Scientist
John is the perfect combination of looks and intelligence. He works as a data scientist; and while John takes his career very seriously, he hopes his job can help him provide for a wife and kids in the near future. When he isn’t crunching numbers, John loves rereading the Harry Potter series, listening to Chelsea Cutler’s music, and trying out new restaurants in New York City. He’s also been known to bust out a dance move or two, having skillfully mastered all the latest Tik Tok dance trends. John is truly a catch who wants to find someone family-oriented, passionate, and that challenges him to be his best self. He can’t wait to meet Charity and see if she’s the woman he’s been looking for!
Fun Facts:
- John has been to five out of the seven continents so far.
- John loves to treat himself with a well-crafted Negroni.
- John listens to sad pop music at the gym.
Let’s be honest: “Mastering all the latest Tik Tok dance trends” and “listening to sad pop music at the gym” are both just straight-up sociopathic behaviors. STAY FAR AWAY, CHARITY.
Red Flag Count: 🚩 🚩 🚩
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
John Henry
30
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Underwater Welder
John Henry is ready for a love deeper than the ocean. While he’s extremely passionate about his work as an underwater welder, John Henry has yet to find the spark of everlasting love. John Henry is looking for a woman who is trustworthy, adventurous, and has a good sense of humor. His dream is to take his future wife diving, so hopefully Charity is ready for some aquatic exploration. When he’s not working, John Henry loves hitting the gym and jamming out to ASAP Rocky. While John Henry says he can be a bit shy at first, once he opens up, he’s all in. We can’t wait to see if he and Charity hit it off!
Fun Facts:
- John Henry shamelessly loves pumpkin spiced lattes.
- John Henry prefers ornamental grasses over flowers.
- John Henry has only seen 20 movies – in his whole life.
I know what you’re thinking: pumpkin-spiced lattes, that’s a red flag, right? It’s not and let me explain to you why: pumpkin-spiced lattes are something that is coded “basic white girl.” And like anything that is coded in any way female — be it pumpkin-spiced lattes or rom-coms or Beyoncé or whatever — men who are toxic avoid those things at all costs, lest their manhood be questioned by others. So the fact that he admits he likes pumpkin-spiced lattes suggests that his toxicity levels are low.
That said, I don’t know what to make of the fact that he’s only seen 20 movies in his entire life. Was he living in a cult in an underground bunker his whole life? What on earth is going on here?
Red Flag Count: 0. There would be a green flag here, but that movie information which is setting off some alarm bells. WHO HAS ONLY SEEN 20 MOVIES BY THE TIME THEY ARE 30?
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Josh
28
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Harvard Grad Student
To call Josh selfless would be an understatement. Josh gave up both a lucrative career on Wall Street and a grad program at Harvard to work for a nonprofit building international affordable housing. He says he’s happiest when “knowing I’ve made someone else’s day better,” which includes his two younger brothers whom he helped raise. Josh isn’t afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve and puts a lot of effort into romantic gestures. He comes from a tight-knit family and is ready to start a family of his own – he hopes to have four kids one day! When Josh isn’t busy making the world a better place with his work, he loves playing board games and grabbing a drink at a speakeasy bar. After getting accepted into Harvard for a second time, Josh is ready to begin the next chapter of his life and hopes that starts with Charity by his side!
Fun Facts:
- Josh camped in 27 national parks before he was 6 years old.
- Josh’s favorite holiday is Easter.
- Josh loves a sunrise hike.
The fact that the word “Harvard” is included three times in this short bio is all I need to know.
Red Flag Count: 🚩 🚩 🚩 One for each time “Harvard” is mentioned.
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Kaleb K.
26
Norcross, Georgia
Construction Salesman
Put him in, coach! This former Division I football player spent many years bettering himself and is ready to take the next step and find true love. As a loyal, caring and consistent partner, Kaleb K. will go the extra mile to appreciate his partner’s passions. What is Kaleb passionate about? Pushing himself to be the best. With a blue belt in jujitsu, Kaleb is excited to put his competitive edge to the test to win Charity’s heart. And a fellow Auburn Tiger alum, he may already have another leg up with Charity. Kaleb K., don’t drop the ball on this one!
Fun Facts:
- Kaleb K. would love to coach high school football.
- Kaleb K. is personally offended by mayonnaise.
- Kaleb K. hopes to visit South Korea and learn more about his heritage.
Kaleb K. feels like a walking motivational self-help book which isn’t a red flag, exactly, but is exhausting. But he receives a point for being offended by mayonnaise.
Red Flag Count: 0
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Khalid
28
Dearborn, Michigan
Tech Recruiter
Khalid is a sweet soul who is really ready to find “the one.” He comes from a big Muslim family and has seven siblings, so hopefully Charity is ready for some lively family dinners. When Khalid isn’t working, he loves hitting the gym and jamming to SZA. The recruiter considers himself a romantic man but doesn’t show his romantic side to just anyone. Khalid is looking for a woman who will truly sweep him off his feet and thinks Charity could be the future partner he’s been looking for.
Fun Facts:
- Khalid likes to read gaming magazines.
- If Khalid could have any superpower, it would be the ability to teleport.
- Khalid would love to have his own farm someday.
I don’t know. I hesitate to be too mean about this guy: Khalid seems nice enough, I guess. I am given pause by him wanting to be swept off his feet instead of focusing on finding someone who he would want to sweep off her feet — is that anti-feminist of me? And his hobby of reading gaming magazines gives me the ick. But he doesn’t seem like bad news.
Red Flag Count: 1/2 🚩
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Michael
28
Chicago, Illinois
Yacht Captain
Michael is ready to set sail on his journey for love. This yacht captain considers himself a romantic who puts time into the “little things,” often showering his partner with sentimental gifts. He believes if a woman feels safe and taken care of, the energy will be reciprocated tenfold. Although he grew up an only child, this Chicago-based charmer is also very family oriented and wants to have a big family someday. When he’s not working on his yacht, he’s spending time with his beloved grandfather in the off season. Will he find a first mate in Charity? Our compass is pointing to “yes”!
Fun Facts:
- Michael collects cologne.
- Michael can’t date you if you like mushrooms on your pizza.
- Michael loves his rainwater shower head.
I am giving Michael big points for thinking about his potential partner’s emotional needs. With a lot of these men, that often is either secondary or completely overlooked in favor of their own needs.
SEE: KHALID.
That said, these fun facts are really something. Mushrooms on your pizza is a dealbreaker? For real, though?
There would have been more except for that mushroom discrimination.
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Nick
32
Bayonne, New Jersey
HR Executive
Reporting for Bachelorette duty! Nick is an Army vet who’s humble, loyal and ready to find love. He’s traveled the world and is looking for a life partner to adventure with, so Charity, get your passport ready. He says he’s looking for a relationship where he and his future wife can grow together and complement each other’s lifestyles. Nick also loves to cook and said that if he could cook a dream meal for any four people he’d pick Keanu Reeves, Bill Burr, Taylor Swift and, obviously – Charity! We can’t wait to see if Nick and Charity hit it off!
Fun Facts:
- Five years from now, Nick wants to live in Shanghai.
- Nick’s favorite local eatery is Walmart.
- Nick is terrified of tigers.
Well, Nick, which is it? Do you love to cook or is your “favorite local eatery” Walmart? Because both things can’t be true, friend.
Red Flag Count: 🚩
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Peter
33
New York, New York
Airline Pilot
Peter is ready to find his co-pilot. This commercial aviator has traveled the world with his dream job but still hasn’t found the love of his life. Peter describes himself as “the life of the party” and hopes his future wife can match his positive energy. Peter considers himself a man of faith and truly believes that his future wife is out there. He can’t wait to meet the Bachelorette to see if she’s the perfect match he’s been looking for. Wheels up, Charity! Our hearts are ready for takeoff!
Fun Facts:
- Peter is addicted to ChapStick.
- Peter never loses in Mario Kart. Ever.
- Peter loves to play pickleball.
Peter sounds like he needs to be taken down a peg in Mario Kart.
Red Flag Count: 🚩
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Sean
25
Tampa, Florida
Software Sales Rep
Sean is really someone special. With gorgeous blue eyes, a great career, and an adorable French bulldog – this guy has it all! The only thing Sean is missing from his life is a wife and he says, “I’m just looking for the girl of my dreams to share my life with.” The software salesman has worked hard in his career and even just bought his very first house. Sean is excited about the possibility of bringing Charity home and starting their lives together. When he isn’t working, Sean loves golfing and boat rides with his friends. Sean is here to find his perfect match and to hopefully return home with Charity by his side.
Fun Facts:
- Sean is self-admittedly a terrible texter.
- Sean likes to dip his chocolate chip cookies in whole milk.
- Sean takes pride in his great head of hair.
Seriously, are they recruiting these pieces of sentient white bread at golf courses?
Red Flag Count: 0
Boring Flag Count: ♾️
(ABC/Ricky Middlesworth)
Spencer
32
Moorpark, California
Medical Sales Director
This single dad’s got humor and heart. As father to a young son, Spencer brings a lot of life experience to the table, including having the courage to change careers and pursue his master’s degree. When he’s not talking to medical professionals in his sales job, Spencer enjoys riding his bike along the ocean. His ideal date would be going on a hike through the orange groves outside of hometown Moorpark. Did we mention he’s an amazing dad? Charity, we hope you like dad jokes!
Fun Facts:
- Spencer’s hero is Anthony Bourdain.
- Spencer likes to read Jack Kerouac novels.
- Spencer dreams of running for political office one day to help his community.
I love Anthony Bourdain. He geuninely tried to make the world a better place by challenging our assumptions and urging us towards empathy and understanding. So it might seem strange that I consider Bourdain + Kerouac to be a red flag. To me, this doesn’t read that Spencer is a sensitive explorer of the human condition. Instead, this reads that Spencer has certain ideas about a romanticized masculinity that center around smoking, heavy drinking, and traveling the world as a means of remaining romantically unavailable.
I have met many, many Spencers in my time, is all I’m saying.
Red Flag Count: 🚩🚩
Tanner
30
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Mortgage Lender
Tanner is 100% husband material. The fitness instructor is extremely close with his family and hopes to find a relationship as special as the one his parents have. While growing up, Tanner and his family rescued over 50 dogs and he hopes to rescue more with his future wife. Charity, hopefully you’re ready for some puppy love! Tanner is truly looking for his forever partner and says that he thinks about finding love all the time. He is confident his future wife is out there and is hoping it’s Charity!
Fun Facts:
- Anywhere with a golden retriever is Tanner’s happy place.
- Tanner’s No. 1 enemy is a messy kitchen.
- Tanner loves giving high-fives!
I’m not convinced that Tanner isn’t a goden retriever in a human costume to be perfectly honest.
Taylor
32
Springboro, Ohio
Loan Officer
Taylor’s got class clown energy. This endearing, self-described goofball is going to give everything he’s got for love. As a partner, Taylor is a trusting guy who has confidence he’ll find the right person someday. Even though he may not always go above and beyond with romantic gestures, Taylor will surprise his partner with breakfast in bed or a cup of coffee before she wakes up. After work, he can be found taking his miniature schnauzer, Alfred, for a walk. Charity, we give this guy two paws up!
Fun Facts:
- Taylor takes forever to fold his laundry.
- Taylor follows the Renaissance Periodization diet … it’s all about macros, baby.
- Taylor likes music you can bump and grind to.
I don’t know Taylor but hearing that he does not always go above and beyond with romantic gestures, but will surprise his partner with coffee in bed every once in a while suggests to me that Taylor is a lazy boyfriend who does the bare minimum and expects to be applauded for it.
Red Flag Count: 🚩🚩
Warwick
27
Nashville, Tennessee
Construction Manager
Warwick describes himself as loyal, kind and adorably awkward. While he may be a bit of an overthinker, once Warwick is comfortable, he’s got a lot of love to give. Warwick is very close with his family and his mom’s Japanese roots are extremely important to him. He’s been to Japan multiple times and even understands Japanese. His dream date is grabbing a romantic dinner then going to see a play – Charity, take notes! Warwick is excited for the chance to fall in love again and can’t wait for his Bachelorette journey to begin.
Fun Facts:
- Warwick is a rule follower.
- Warwick likes Legos.
- Warwick dreams of going to an English Premier League game.
I don’t know, Warwick sounds adorable.
Xavier
27
Carrboro, North Carolina
Biomedical Scientist
Xavier is one tall glass of water. This 6-foot-6-inch scientific researcher has also got the smarts and charisma to match. In a relationship, Xavier will shower his partner with compliments because he genuinely wants to see his future wife happy. Xavier’s parents, who’ve been happily married for 30 years, embody the type of relationship he wants to find. Xavier says he most admires his mom and wants to find a partner who can give their children the kind of love he received as a kid. Could Charity be the one? It’s time to put their chemistry to the test!
Fun Facts:
- Xavier enjoys knitting.
- Xavier built his own computer for playing video games.
- Xavier’s ideal first date is skydiving.
While a man who loves and has respect for his mother is always a good thing, it sounds to me like Xavier is looking for another Mommy. That plus skydiving? Yeah, that’s going to be a no from me, Bob.
Red Flag Count: 🚩
Alright, my roses, I’ll see you on the other side of this mess later this week. Now go pour Mommy some more box wine.
The Bachelorette airs on ABC on Mondays at 8/9 p.m. and streams on Hulu.
You are truly out here doing the lord’s work. Okay, 1) “Boring Flag Count: Infinity” made me snort-laugh coffee up my nose, so good job on that. And 2) “Taylor’s got class clown energy” sounds absolutely exhausting. I’m currently sitting here trying to muster up the energy to go watch this trash-fire on Hulu today.