I’m going to go chill a bottle of champagne for no particular reason.

by Therese Odell, posted in watch this

FINALLY! Scientific proof that corgi butts float:

@weratedogs

Today I learned that corgi butts can float. Not sure what to do with this info, other than share it with you. 14/10 what a good buoy #weratedogs

♬ original sound – tyler🫡

Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News

I am still stuck in the snow and therefore sort of on vacation brain mode and am not entirely prepared to do a whole political deep dive on the news that we are on the possible cusp of Former President Insurrectionist being arrested — according to Former President Insurrectionist himself. So please forgive the relative briefness of this.

Part of my reluctance to write about this is that after years of being disappointed that this man has never faced the consequences of his actions, I am resisting getting my hopes up. 

But then I see something like this …

… and babies, I am ready to chill some motherfucking champagne.

So, what is this all about? This indictment — if he is indicted — will be related to the payoff of Stormy Daniels two weeks ahead of the 2016 election, which potentially violated campaign finance laws.

OK SO. Back in 2006, a few weeks after Melania had given birth to their son Barron, Former President Cheater allegedly slept with porn star Stormy Daniels right where I am going to spend my afternoon: South Lake Tahoe. This was not the first adult actress/model that Former President Dingus had slept with in South Lake Tahoe: there was at least one other woman we know about, Karen McDougal. Daniels shopped her story to InTouch Magazine back in 2011, in which she claimed that after meeting him in Lake Tahoe, she and Former President Skin Stain had a multi-month affair. Former President Make America Gag Again had the story killed by siccing his lawyers on it, and the article never saw the light of day.

But then fast-forward to 2016 and his presidential campaign. The Lake Tahoe story re-emerges when McDougal started threatening to shop her story around to tabloids. So Former President Sleazeball had his buddy at the National Enquirer, David Pecker, buy McDougal’s story so as to never publish it, in what is called a “catch-and-kill.” They paid McDougal $150,000 and she signed an agreement that barred her from ever telling her story.

Former President Mushroom Dick then wanted Pecker to pay off Stormy Daniels with a similar agreement, but Pecker, having already paid one of Former President Depends’ affair partners so much, balked. So then, two weeks ahead of the election — and directly following the “grab ’em by the pussy” scandal, Daniels threatened to sell her story. Michael Cohen, Former President Cheeto Dust’s lawyer, took out a $130,000 home equity loan and paid it to Daniels to keep her mouth shut. Then, the Trump Organization paid Cohen $130,000 for “legal fees.”

The story broke after the election anyway, and Cohen ended up pleading guilty to tax evasion and illegally influencing an election in 2018. He was sentenced to three years and spent four months in jail, and he has been cooperating with the Manhattan DA on this case against his former boss. They weren’t able to indict Former President Walking Felony at the time because he was holding the office of the Presidency, but fortunately, we overwhelming voted that asshole out of office in 2020, despite what his bruised little ego might continue to believe, and the Manhattan DA’s office has been free to go after him ever since.

Former President Meltdown is pissing his pants about it and posted this weekend that he expects to be arrested tomorrow. And this will shock you, but he’s calling for riots protests:

A couple of thoughts:

1. I’m just not that worried about another January 6th. The atmosphere is not nearly as charged as it was three years ago, and there doesn’t seem to be any real momentum out there despite a couple of loud voices. From what I’ve been reading from people who follow the far-right, there has not been any real organization, unlike back in 2020 and 2021. Republicans are having some meltdowns and calling this a  weaponization of law enforcement, but come the fuck on.

2. I wish he were going down for something bigger: the Georgia case of tampering with elections, the New York case against him and his company for financial crimes, the classified documents issue, or, best of all, if the DOJ would do something, ANYTHING, on the January 6th front. But I’ll take what I can get. My thinking is that if he gets arrested on this, contrary to all the hand-wringers who think this will only make him a political martyr and make him stronger, I believe it will embolden all the other investigations against him to finally heat up.

Like I said, I don’t know what’s going to happen, and I refuse to get my hopes up. But it costs nothing to chill a bottle of bubbly just in case.

The cast of Ted Lasso is headed to the White House today to discuss “the importance of mental health to promote overall well-being” with President Biden and First Lady Dr. Jill Biden.

We’re likely going to have to wait until the end of 2024, or the beginning of 2025 for new episodes of The Last of Us. ~collapses onto the floor~

No one told Sarah Snook that this was the last season of Succession until their final table read, which just seems very rude.

NBC has reached a tentative agreement with Saturday Night Live‘s post-production editors ahead of the April 1 deadline (and Quinta Brunson’s episode), thank goodness.

The Young and the Restless is celebrating its 50th anniversary this week (huge congratulations! That’s a big deal!), and one of its biggest stars, Eric Braeden — better known perhaps as Victor Newman, is REALLY MAD at Eva Longoria. Longoria was on Who’s Talking To Chris Wallace? where Wallace played a clip of her on The Young and the Restless back in the early 2000s. Longoria replied that when she was working that job, she also was working as a headhunter and … let me just print the quote:

“When I got Young & the Restless, it didn’t pay enough for me to live off being an actor. So I continued being a headhunter and Young and the Restless. And I would hide the fact that I was on Young and the Restless to my clients because they didn’t want like a dumb actress handling their accounts. And one time one of my clients was like, you look like a girl that I’ve seen on a soap opera [and I denied knowing anything] … I was like the opposite of a publicist’s dream because I was like, ‘Don’t tell anyone I’m on that show.” Because I was, you know, still making more money on my day job.”

Braeden took this as a dig specifically at soap actors and fired back on Twitter that she couldn’t hack it as a soap actress:

 

And then when people suggested that he misunderstood her, he only became angrier:

Nancy Lee Grahn of General Hospital chimed in to both defend Longoria but also gently put her in her damn place:

But being the soap-loving petty bitch I am, I am Team Victor Newman.

Speaking of soap operas, General Hospital‘s Ingo Rademacher is now claiming he wasn’t fired because he refused to get vaccinated as was ABC’s explanation, but because he was a Former President Spank Me With a Magazine supporter. This is going to be difficult to prove as the show also fired Steve Burton over the vaccine issue, and Burton and Rademacher were two of the biggest stars of the show — stars that I don’t think the show would have willingly fired over something as inconsequential as someone’s private political beliefs. But refusing to get vaccinated when a deadly virus is spreading and part of your job is literally to make out with your co-stars? Anyway, good luck with all that, Ingo.

This is a piece about the very expensive scrapped Game of Thrones prequel pilot, Bloodmoon, which is interesting but my nerd ass can’t stop wondering why the top illustration on the piece shows Naomi Watts in what is clearly Targaryen dress when the show took place centuries and centuries before the Targaryens got involved.

They gave the Mark Twain Prize to Adam Sandler.

Andy Kauffman is going to be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. I don’t care about wrestling, but this warms my cold heart.

Y’all shouldn’t take out your anger at Tom Sandoval on the staff of his restaurant. They didn’t cheat on Ariana.

Rupert Murdoch is engaged again. This man is 92 years old.

BUT HERE’S SOMETHING WILD THAT I DID NOT KNOW UNTIL THIS STORY CAME OUT: Rupert’s second wife and the mother to his children Lachlan, James, and Elizabeth — you know, the ones that Succession is clearly based on — is Anna Torv. Not that Anna Torv — not the Fringe, Mindhunter, The Last of Us Anna Torv — but she is that Anna Torv’s aunt.

Heal quickly, Shaquille O’Neal!

Feel better soon, Rod Stewart!

We are keeping the wonderful Sam Neill in our thoughts while he battles stage three blood cancer.

Renewals

Cancellations

  • Lingo is NOT canceled at CBS, but they are pulling it from the schedule to air reruns. The episodes that have not yet aired will be saved for the fall — because CBS is anticipating a writers’ strike will disrupt the season. So that’s not terrific news.
  • Power Slap: Road to the Title has been canceled at TBS.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel will return for its final season on Prime Video on April 14.
  • Queenmaker debuts on Netflix on April 14.

R.I.P.

Lance Reddick, Actor known for his roles on The Wire, Oz, Lost, Fringe, Bosch, Law & Order, the John Wick films, and dozens and dozens of other roles. This one hurts.

 

 

 

Sean Lampkin, Actor who is best known as Nipsey the bar owner on Martin

Hal Dresner, Screenwriter and producer who wrote Cool Hand Luke, “The Harvey Korman Show, The Eiger Sanction, CBS Summer Playhouse, MASH, and more”

Peter Hardy, Australian actor on McLeod’s Daughters

Ed Winter, Deputy L.A. County Coroner who worked on a number of celebrity deaths including “Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Brittany Murphy, Paul Walker, Tom Petty and Corey Haim.”

WATCH THIS

The Bachelor: The most boring Bachelor ever is managing to make even the Fantasy Suites boring. YAWN. 7 p.m., ABC

TMZ Investigates: 9/11: The Fifth Plane: According to this new special, there was a fifth flight on September 11 that might have contained more terrorists that did not take off on that fateful day. Fascinating if true. Premiere. 8 p.m., Fox

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Florence Pugh, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Talib Kweli & Madlib
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Bob Odenkirk, Melanie Lynskey, Tori Kelly
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live:
    Jennifer Hudson, Donnie Yen, Larkin Poe
  • The Daily Show: Guest host Al Franken
  • Watch What Happens Live: Hayley De Sola Pinto, Tyler Walker

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Bachelor
(new)		 The Good Doctor
(new)
CBS The Neighborhood
(new)		 Bob ♥ Abishola
(new)		 NCIS
(new)		 NCIS: Hawai’i
(new)
CW All American
(new)		 All American: Homecoming
(new)		 Local
FOX 9-1-1
(new)		 TMZ Investigates: 9/11: The Fifth Plane
(new)		 News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)		 Quantum Leap
(new)

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