MONDAY
The Bachelor: Zach and one woman spend the night together. ¡EL ESCÁNDALO! 7 p.m., ABC
Chrisley Knows Best: Well this is awkward now that everyone is in jail. Season premiere. 10 p.m., USA
Eddie Murphy marathon: Beverly Hills Cop III; Beverly Hills Cop; and Trading Places. Don’t ask me why Beverly Hills Cop III comes before Beverly Hills Cop, or where Beverly Hills Cop II is, I have no idea. 6:30 p.m., Showtime 2 West
TUESDAY
State of the Union Address: President Biden addresses a joint session of Congress, half of whom are complete lunatics, so expect some bad behavior. 8 p.m., ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC, CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, PBS, C-SPAN
The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Speaking of bad behavior … 8 p.m., Bravo
All That Breathes: In this Oscar-nominated documentary, two brothers in New Delhi care for the birds that are falling out of the skies from the smog. Premiere. 8 p.m., HBO
WEDNESDAY
The Flash: Barry inadvertently creates a Groundhog Day in the final season premiere. 7 p.m., The CW
Not Dead Yet: When Nell takes over obituary duty at the newspaper, she starts receiving otherworldly advice. Series premiere. 8 p.m., ABC
Kung Fu: Ryan makes a shocking discovery at the hospital. Season premiere. 8 p.m., The CW
Vanderpump Rules: Katie and Schwartz try to stay friends after divorce. 90-minute season premiere. 8 p.m., Bravo
A Million Little Things: The friends reunite after an unexpected death in the final season premiere. 9 p.m., ABC
South Park: 26th season premiere. 9 p.m., Comedy Central
THURSDAY
You: Joe takes his psychopathy to Europe. Season premiere. Netflix
Stolen Youth: Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence: Oh hey, it’s another documentary about the weird sex cult at the college we chose to send one of our children to, cool. Premiere. Hulu
Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine’s Day Special: Premiere. HBO Max
Hell’s Kitchen: Two-hour season finale. 7 p.m., Fox
FRIDAY
Love Is Blind: After the Altar: We check in on the contestants and I am most invested in Alexa and Brennon. DON’T BREAK MY HEART, YOU TWO. Premiere. Netflix
Your Place or Mine: In this romantic comedy, Reese Witherspoon and Ashton Kutcher are best friends who swap homes. I suppose hilarity and love ensue? Netflix
Somebody I Used to Know: Allison Brie stars as a workaholic who goes to her hometown where, after meeting an ex, she begins to question her life choices. Prime Video
SATURDAY
The Godfather & The Godfather Part II: I am always going to mention when they are on. My blog, do what I want. 2 p.m., AMC
Marc Maron: From Bleak to Dark: Marc Maron stars in his first HBO stand-up special. Premiere. 9 p.m., HBO
Masters of Illusion: Magicians Ed Alonzo, Xavier Mortimer, Eric Buss, Farrell Dillon, Alexandra Duvivier, and Deadly Games are featured in the season premiere. 7 p.m., The CW
SUNDAY
Super Bowl LVII: Eagles vs. Chiefs. FLY, EAGLES, FLY! 5:30 p.m., Fox
Puppy Bowl XIX: PLAY, PUPPIES, PLAY! 1 p.m., Animal Planet, Discovery+, HBO Max, TBS
Next Level Chef: Season two premiere. 9:30 p.m., Fox