Wait, did ‘Succession’ just do what I think ‘Succession’ just did?

 

This is going to be the funniest thing you’ll see all day. SOUND DEFINITELY ON.

All Other TV News

H’OH BOY THAT SUCCESSION EPISODE LAST NIGHT, AMIRITE? Look, there are going to be spoilers below, so if you haven’t watched, I’d just keep scrolling until you see the embedded Spotify playlist, at which point, you’ll be safe.

Alright, so the short version is, everyone goes to Mom’s wedding in Tuscany (including Cameron who is not her son? and Cousin Greg who is not her cousin? but sure), where everyone is a real shit to Kendall, including Mom who informs him he’s not invited to some events because she is giving preference to Logan, her ex-husband. Also, Shiv somehow becomes a worse person and wife. Also, Roman tries to send a dick pic to Gerri but accidentally sends it to his dad. Also, Kendall has dinner with his dad to ask him to buy him out of the company, but Logan’s all, “Nah.” But the most shocking moment comes in the last 30 seconds when Kendall is drunk and in a pool and maybe drowns? I mean, probably not? But maybe?

It’s REAL unclear and people have feelings:

One hopeful theory:

And maybe …. maybe he’s alive (for now?):

On the other hand:

As for that last tweet, may I direct you to this New Yorker piece about Jeremy Strong which portrays him as nothing short of bonkers. He’s undoubtedly a genius actor, but I imagine he’s exhausting to work with:

Strong, who is now forty-two, has the hangdog face of someone who wasn’t destined for stardom. But his mild appearance belies a relentless, sometimes preening intensity. He speaks with a slow, deliberate cadence, especially when talking about acting, which he does with a monk-like solemnity. “To me, the stakes are life and death,” he told me, about playing Kendall. “I take him as seriously as I take my own life.” He does not find the character funny, which is probably why he’s so funny in the role.

When I asked Strong about the rap that Kendall performs in Season 2, at a gala for his father—a top contender for Kendall’s most cringeworthy moment—he gave an unsmiling answer about Raskolnikov, referencing Kendall’s “monstrous pain.” Kieran Culkin told me, “After the first season, he said something to me like, ‘I’m worried that people might think that the show is a comedy.’ And I said, ‘I think the show is a comedy.’ He thought I was kidding.” Part of the appeal of “Succession” is its amalgam of drama and bone-dry satire. When I told Strong that I, too, thought of the show as a dark comedy, he looked at me with incomprehension and asked, “In the sense that, like, Chekhov is comedy?” No, I said, in the sense that it’s funny. “That’s exactly why we cast Jeremy in that role,” McKay told me. “Because he’s not playing it like a comedy. He’s playing it like he’s Hamlet.

Finally, if Kendall Roy IS dead, you can pour one out for him while playing his birthday playlist, courtesy of HBO:

In the event that Daredevil were to rejoin the MCU, Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige has confirmed that Charlie Cox will reprise the role and people are freaking out about it. Now, I happen to see a lot of conditional phrases in this statement: “If you were to see Daredevil in upcoming things, Charlie Cox, yes, would be the actor playing Daredevil. Where we see that, how we see that, when we see that, remains to be seen,” but go on and celebrate if you need to.

The Critics Choice TV nominees are out, and they are great. These guys get it. I’m especially excited to see Evil be recognized so many times — genuinely one of my favorite shows — and that the dark guilty pleasure, Cruel Summer, is even getting a little love.

President Biden attended the Kennedy Center Honors, making it the first time in four years that the President was in attendance because someone was a petulant little bitch who couldn’t stand not being the center of attention. Quipped presenter David Letterman: “Tonight, it is quite nice, very nice, to see the presidential box once again being occupied,” he told a cheering audience. “The same with the Oval Office.”

Hey, you know who wasn’t impressed with Alec Baldwin’s interview in which he insisted he won’t be charged with any crime? Santa Fe First Judicial District Attorney Mary Carmack-Altwies, the woman investigating the case. Oh, and Baldwin has deleted his Twitter account. It is certainly for the best.

They’re dropping the whole “FX on Hulu” thing, and just creating an FX hub on the streamer.

You won’t believe how many TV-themed ugly Christmas sweaters there are available on Amazon. And this list doesn’t include the Cobra Kai, Bob’s Burgers, or Bob Ross sweaters.

If you’ve always wanted to own the Fonz’s motorcycle, now’s your chance.

The Sex and the City sequel series And Just Like That … is not killing off any characters — even those where the actors are actually dead.

Hey, Bachelorette fans: y’all remember on Tayshia’s season, she met Ivan’s brother Gabriel, the guy who had been to prison but who everyone loved and some were even demanding that he be the next Bachelor? The guy with the face tats?

Yeah, so some … not great news.

Dave Chappelle is among the comedians who will perform at the Netflix is a Joke comedy festival which should surprise absolutely no one, of course they are staying in the Dave Chappelle business.

I promise I don’t use cute cats to spread lies:

Love is dead again.

SEX PESTS

Chris Cuomo was fired by CNN on Saturday for using his media contacts and position as a CNN personality to help his brother fight the sexual harassment allegations against him. The swiftness at which he was dismissed was a little surprising, as many people expected him to merely be suspended through the end of the year and back at his top-rated show by the beginning of the new year. However, after the story broke that Cuomo had used his position to discredit his brother’s accusers, a woman stepped forward to tell CNN that he had sexually harassed her at a job before his CNN gig, and it looks like CNN finally had enough of his bullshit (and was probably worried about what else might come out).

The statement from CNN and Jeff Zucker: “Chris Cuomo was suspended earlier this week pending further evaluation of new information that came to light about his involvement with his brother’s defense. We retained a respected law firm to conduct the review, and have terminated him, effective immediately. While in the process of that review, additional information has come to light. Despite the termination, we will investigate as appropriate.”

Cuomo also released a statement: “This is not how I want my time at CNN to end but I have already told you why and how I helped my brother. So let me now say as disappointing as this is, I could not be more proud of the team at Cuomo Prime Time and the work we did as CNN’s #1 show in the most competitive time slot. I owe them all and will miss that group of special people who did really important work.”

Michael Smerconish is set to host the 8/9 p.m. timeslot under the name CNN Primetime. But honestly, they should give it to Jim Acosta already.

I’m not on Cuomo’s side — I think he should have been fired a while ago — but maybe Bill Fucking O’Reilly should sit this one out.

Speaking of CNN and people who they’ve fired, Kathy Griffin has a point:

Apparently, there have been rumors of allegations of misconduct leveled against Jeff Garlin on the set of The Goldbergs — so much so, that he had to give an interview to Vanity Fair, insisting that he has not been fired from the show.

Maureen Ryan, who conducted the interview, points out that there have been multiple HR complaints against him, including one story that he sent a text to a Goldbergs colleague suggesting they come to the table read wearing only panties. Garlin’s denial to this is … less than convincing: “First off, I never wrote those words, and I don’t remember, but I might’ve said— But it has nothing to do with someone being a woman. And it was not to do with being sexual. It had to have been probably just like, ‘Wouldn’t that be shocking.’ It had nothing to do with that.”

Oh, Jeff, buddy, you can’t do that.

He also suggests that the other complaints were related to a time he reacted angrily to something to do with COVID procedures, that he’s a hugger, and that he jokes around by saying things like, “Ow my vagina,” which some people might find offensive. He then adds that he doesn’t think the show will be back next year and that he didn’t even want to return this season but did so to keep the show going. Huh.

Sony Pictures TV released this … vague statement: “The well-being of our cast and crew is of utmost importance to us. This is an employment matter and it is being addressed by HR and production.”

Josh Duggar is in the courtroom for the child pornography case against him, and his father Jim Bob’s testimony has been determined to be “not credible.” Good. It’s not.

Author Alice Sebold has publicly apologized to the man she wrongfully accused of raping her, sending him to prison for 16 years. Her memoir about the rape, Lucky, has been pulled by the publisher. What a terrible, sad story.

SAG-AFTRA has created the Sexual Harassment Prevention Committee to look for ways to protect its members from sexual harassment. Maybe a place to start is to remind all actors that texting their castmates anything about “panties” is completely inappropriate.

Renewals

Cancellations

In Development

  • The Boys: Diabolical, an animated series, is being made at Amazon.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • 1883 premieres on Paramount+ on December 19.

  • The Matrix Resurrections will premiere on HBO Max on December 22.

  • Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts will debut on HBO Max on January 1.

  • Munich: The Edge Of War will debut on Netflix on January 21.

  • Finding Magic Mike will premiere on HBO Max on December 16.

  • Raised by Wolves will return on Apple TV+ on February 3.

  • A Discovery of Witches will return on Sundance Now, Shudder and AMC+ on January 8.

  • Secrets of Sulphur Springs will return on Disney Channel on January 16.

  • Love During Lockup will return on WE tv on January 7.

  • Stay Close will debut on Netflix on December 31.

  • STAND BY ME Doraemon 2 will return on Netflix on December 24.

R.I.P.

Martha De Laurentiis, Executive producer of Hannibal and co-founder of Dino De Laurentiis Company

Bob Dole, Former Republican Senator and Presidential nominee

Yvonne Wilder, Actor in West Side Story and Seems Like Old Times

Stonewall Jackson, Country songwriter and member of the Grand Ol’ Opry

Colonel Edward Shames, The last living member of the paratrooper team featured in Band of Brothers

WATCH THIS

Landscapers: The amazing Olivia Coleman and David Thewlis star in this limited series based on the true story of Chris and Susan Edwards, who by all appearances were a perfectly average middle-aged couple, until two bodies were discovered in their backyard. Series premiere. 8 p.m., HBO

The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All: The thing where the men yell at each other and puff up their chests in an attempt to be memorable enough to earn a spot on Bachelor in Paradise. 8 p.m., ABC

Michael Bublé’s Christmas in the City: I regret to inform you that Bublé is up to it again. 9 p.m., NBC

A Very Boy Band Holiday: Oh, ABC sees your Michael Bublé, NBC, and they raise you: Joey Fatone, Chris Kirkpatrick, Lance Bass, Wanya Morris, Shawn Stockman, Bobby Brown, Michael Bivins, Joey McIntyre, Erik-Michael Estrada, Nick Lachey, Drew Lachey, Jeff Timmons and Justin Jeffre. 7 p.m., ABC

The Forever Prisoner: Documentarian Alex Gibney examines the clandestine operations that have trapped certain prisoners in Guantánamo in a legal limbo for decades.  9 p.m., HBO

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jonah Hill, Tig Notaro, Dan + Shay
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Michael J. Fox, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Ashley Williams, Nikki Glaspie
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Jennifer Lawrence, Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Zachary Levi, Nicole Byer, Nnena
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Jennifer Aniston, Ann Dowd, Kathryn Hahn, Kevin Hart, John Lithgow, Jon Stewart, Allison Tolman, Gabrielle Union, Damon Wayans Sr., Guillermo del Toro, Courtney Barnett
  • The Daily Show: TBA
  • Watch What Happens Live: Rachel Hargrove, Jessica Albert

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC A Very Boy Band Holiday
(new)
The Bachelorette
(new)
CBS The Neighborhood
(new)
Bob ♥ Abishola
(new)
NCIS
(new)
NCIS: Hawai’i
(new)
CW All American
(new)
The 4400
(new)
Local
FOX 9-1-1
(new)
The Big Leap
(new)
News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)
Michael Bublé’s Christmas In The City
(new)

 

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