This is going to be the funniest thing you’ll see all day. SOUND DEFINITELY ON.
The horse has great comedic timing. 🤦♂️🤣🐎 pic.twitter.com/HMdqLiOIgU
— Fred Schultz (@fred035schultz) December 4, 2021
All Other TV News
H’OH BOY THAT SUCCESSION EPISODE LAST NIGHT, AMIRITE? Look, there are going to be spoilers below, so if you haven’t watched, I’d just keep scrolling until you see the embedded Spotify playlist, at which point, you’ll be safe.
Alright, so the short version is, everyone goes to Mom’s wedding in Tuscany (including Cameron who is not her son? and Cousin Greg who is not her cousin? but sure), where everyone is a real shit to Kendall, including Mom who informs him he’s not invited to some events because she is giving preference to Logan, her ex-husband. Also, Shiv somehow becomes a worse person and wife. Also, Roman tries to send a dick pic to Gerri but accidentally sends it to his dad. Also, Kendall has dinner with his dad to ask him to buy him out of the company, but Logan’s all, “Nah.” But the most shocking moment comes in the last 30 seconds when Kendall is drunk and in a pool and maybe drowns? I mean, probably not? But maybe?
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP OUT OF YOUR SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP pic.twitter.com/VsZU4f6BXq
— kendall roy beating the dead allegations (@jintrology) December 6, 2021
It’s REAL unclear and people have feelings:
actual footage of me watching succession pic.twitter.com/HWqL6EYFtJ
— beth (@tenducloseplie) December 6, 2021
This Succession episode is fucking insane pic.twitter.com/SPXYHgnAWN
— 🌸 (@piecrustcollar) December 6, 2021
WAS ABOUT TO TWEET THAT BLUE CHECK MARK TWITTER WAS BEING DRAMATIC ABOUT THIS EPISODE AND THEN KENDALL AT THE END?????)£??!!
— izzy (@spidermannwh) December 6, 2021
Laughing at Roman's dick to the pool scene with Kendall pic.twitter.com/HzFpOKkMjs
— Logan Roy Apologist (@amymarieberger) December 6, 2021
Wait Kendall Roy might be dead? pic.twitter.com/5AzkhsPfdQ
— Kage (@se_kage) December 6, 2021
if kendall is dead this is robb stark all over again pic.twitter.com/wdHzpjyzFl
— 🎁✨ (@bibookishlady) December 6, 2021
if kendall is dead its a win rationally bc they committed and good writing u know yay but if he ISNT its a win emotionally bc i need him alive like😭 i cant handle this im losing it pic.twitter.com/5MWjcqge5b
— dajour (@selahspades) December 6, 2021
NO KENDALL IN THE PROMO…….. #successionhbo pic.twitter.com/InHkCgYmv4
— ziggy stardust (@autismandhorror) December 6, 2021
kendall roy + water pic.twitter.com/Ic8QyNW0EL
— meri lemon (@filmsexuals) December 6, 2021
One hopeful theory:
I’m pretty sure the end scene wasn’t supposed to indicate that Kendall was dying – he was just holding his breath to see what it was like for the caterer after Logan asked him how long the kid sat there before he started inhaling water. #SuccessionHBO #Succession pic.twitter.com/ZZ5nnIrGso
— chels (taylor’s version) 🧣 (@_ChelseaChelsea) December 6, 2021
And maybe …. maybe he’s alive (for now?):
guess who's alive and wearing brown 😬 pic.twitter.com/gyvpx70gMn
— c. cansu m. (@gothkendallroy) December 6, 2021
On the other hand:
Is Kendall dead? Idk, seems like a toss up. But considering Succession famously leaves piles of film on the cutting room floor, I can’t be reassured by scene stills we haven’t seen yet. #SuccessionHBO
— Alan Elrod, but jolly 🎄☃️❄️ (@aselrod) December 6, 2021
it’s the way kendall is always looking at his own reflection when he’s suicidal pic.twitter.com/Cs2NI0draa
— andrew niggarfield (@oIiviatv) December 6, 2021
having a hard time believing Kendall will be dead next week bc Jeremy Strong is so committed to method he would have drowned himself as well
— bec (@becbenepla) December 6, 2021
As for that last tweet, may I direct you to this New Yorker piece about Jeremy Strong which portrays him as nothing short of bonkers. He’s undoubtedly a genius actor, but I imagine he’s exhausting to work with:
Strong, who is now forty-two, has the hangdog face of someone who wasn’t destined for stardom. But his mild appearance belies a relentless, sometimes preening intensity. He speaks with a slow, deliberate cadence, especially when talking about acting, which he does with a monk-like solemnity. “To me, the stakes are life and death,” he told me, about playing Kendall. “I take him as seriously as I take my own life.” He does not find the character funny, which is probably why he’s so funny in the role.
When I asked Strong about the rap that Kendall performs in Season 2, at a gala for his father—a top contender for Kendall’s most cringeworthy moment—he gave an unsmiling answer about Raskolnikov, referencing Kendall’s “monstrous pain.” Kieran Culkin told me, “After the first season, he said something to me like, ‘I’m worried that people might think that the show is a comedy.’ And I said, ‘I think the show is a comedy.’ He thought I was kidding.” Part of the appeal of “Succession” is its amalgam of drama and bone-dry satire. When I told Strong that I, too, thought of the show as a dark comedy, he looked at me with incomprehension and asked, “In the sense that, like, Chekhov is comedy?” No, I said, in the sense that it’s funny. “That’s exactly why we cast Jeremy in that role,” McKay told me. “Because he’s not playing it like a comedy. He’s playing it like he’s Hamlet.
Finally, if Kendall Roy IS dead, you can pour one out for him while playing his birthday playlist, courtesy of HBO:
In the event that Daredevil were to rejoin the MCU, Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige has confirmed that Charlie Cox will reprise the role and people are freaking out about it. Now, I happen to see a lot of conditional phrases in this statement: “If you were to see Daredevil in upcoming things, Charlie Cox, yes, would be the actor playing Daredevil. Where we see that, how we see that, when we see that, remains to be seen,” but go on and celebrate if you need to.
Charlie Cox Daredevil HE BACK!!!!!
— EternalsTalks (@EternalsTalkss) December 6, 2021
pic.twitter.com/rhxLcMPR9I
The Critics Choice TV nominees are out, and they are great. These guys get it. I’m especially excited to see Evil be recognized so many times — genuinely one of my favorite shows — and that the dark guilty pleasure, Cruel Summer, is even getting a little love.
President Biden attended the Kennedy Center Honors, making it the first time in four years that the President was in attendance because someone was a petulant little bitch who couldn’t stand not being the center of attention. Quipped presenter David Letterman: “Tonight, it is quite nice, very nice, to see the presidential box once again being occupied,” he told a cheering audience. “The same with the Oval Office.”
Hey, you know who wasn’t impressed with Alec Baldwin’s interview in which he insisted he won’t be charged with any crime? Santa Fe First Judicial District Attorney Mary Carmack-Altwies, the woman investigating the case. Oh, and Baldwin has deleted his Twitter account. It is certainly for the best.
They’re dropping the whole “FX on Hulu” thing, and just creating an FX hub on the streamer.
You won’t believe how many TV-themed ugly Christmas sweaters there are available on Amazon. And this list doesn’t include the Cobra Kai, Bob’s Burgers, or Bob Ross sweaters.
If you’ve always wanted to own the Fonz’s motorcycle, now’s your chance.
The Sex and the City sequel series And Just Like That … is not killing off any characters — even those where the actors are actually dead.
Hey, Bachelorette fans: y’all remember on Tayshia’s season, she met Ivan’s brother Gabriel, the guy who had been to prison but who everyone loved and some were even demanding that he be the next Bachelor? The guy with the face tats?
Ivan's brother dropping in made Ivan smile so hard🥰 #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/OMSiUVfTgf
— ♡ (@tvgoldtweets) December 16, 2020
Yeah, so some … not great news.
Dave Chappelle is among the comedians who will perform at the Netflix is a Joke comedy festival which should surprise absolutely no one, of course they are staying in the Dave Chappelle business.
I promise I don’t use cute cats to spread lies:
On #LSSC tonight: Cute cats are online spreading misinformation. pic.twitter.com/XIsJAdc1Bc
— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) December 4, 2021
SEX PESTS
Chris Cuomo was fired by CNN on Saturday for using his media contacts and position as a CNN personality to help his brother fight the sexual harassment allegations against him. The swiftness at which he was dismissed was a little surprising, as many people expected him to merely be suspended through the end of the year and back at his top-rated show by the beginning of the new year. However, after the story broke that Cuomo had used his position to discredit his brother’s accusers, a woman stepped forward to tell CNN that he had sexually harassed her at a job before his CNN gig, and it looks like CNN finally had enough of his bullshit (and was probably worried about what else might come out).
The statement from CNN and Jeff Zucker: “Chris Cuomo was suspended earlier this week pending further evaluation of new information that came to light about his involvement with his brother’s defense. We retained a respected law firm to conduct the review, and have terminated him, effective immediately. While in the process of that review, additional information has come to light. Despite the termination, we will investigate as appropriate.”
Cuomo also released a statement: “This is not how I want my time at CNN to end but I have already told you why and how I helped my brother. So let me now say as disappointing as this is, I could not be more proud of the team at Cuomo Prime Time and the work we did as CNN’s #1 show in the most competitive time slot. I owe them all and will miss that group of special people who did really important work.”
Michael Smerconish is set to host the 8/9 p.m. timeslot under the name CNN Primetime. But honestly, they should give it to Jim Acosta already.
I’m not on Cuomo’s side — I think he should have been fired a while ago — but maybe Bill Fucking O’Reilly should sit this one out.
Chris Cuomo fired by CNN. But isn't that organization responsible for what happened?
— Bill O'Reilly (@BillOReilly) December 4, 2021
Speaking of CNN and people who they’ve fired, Kathy Griffin has a point:
Kathy Griffin calls out the double standard of cancel culture: She was fired from CNN, while Jeffrey Toobin, who masturbated on-camera on a work Zoom call, kept his job at the network. Note: Kathy’s voice is strained because she’s recovering from surgery. pic.twitter.com/d6hSKtXh1O
— Mike Sington (@MikeSington) December 2, 2021
Maureen Ryan, who conducted the interview, points out that there have been multiple HR complaints against him, including one story that he sent a text to a Goldbergs colleague suggesting they come to the table read wearing only panties. Garlin’s denial to this is … less than convincing: “First off, I never wrote those words, and I don’t remember, but I might’ve said— But it has nothing to do with someone being a woman. And it was not to do with being sexual. It had to have been probably just like, ‘Wouldn’t that be shocking.’ It had nothing to do with that.”
Oh, Jeff, buddy, you can’t do that.
He also suggests that the other complaints were related to a time he reacted angrily to something to do with COVID procedures, that he’s a hugger, and that he jokes around by saying things like, “Ow my vagina,” which some people might find offensive. He then adds that he doesn’t think the show will be back next year and that he didn’t even want to return this season but did so to keep the show going. Huh.
Sony Pictures TV released this … vague statement: “The well-being of our cast and crew is of utmost importance to us. This is an employment matter and it is being addressed by HR and production.”
I like laughing. I like humor. But anyway worth pondering how much gatekeeping, hazing & exclusion is wrapped up in that whole “why don’t you have a sense of humor”/“can’t you take a joke” dynamic. So. Much.
— Mo Ryan (@moryan) December 4, 2021
Author Alice Sebold has publicly apologized to the man she wrongfully accused of raping her, sending him to prison for 16 years. Her memoir about the rape, Lucky, has been pulled by the publisher. What a terrible, sad story.
SAG-AFTRA has created the Sexual Harassment Prevention Committee to look for ways to protect its members from sexual harassment. Maybe a place to start is to remind all actors that texting their castmates anything about “panties” is completely inappropriate.
Renewals
- Fear the Walking Dead has been renewed for season eight on AMC, and Kim Dickens will return.
Cancellations
- Gabby Duran & The Unsittables has been canceled after two seasons on Disney Channel.
In Development
- The Boys: Diabolical, an animated series, is being made at Amazon.
- In Between, a mystery drama starring Merrin Dungey, produced by Liz Vassey and Mayim Bialik, is being developed at NBC.
- How Ted Bundy’s Killing Spree Launched a Legion of Feminist Karate Masters is going to be adapted into a TV series.
- Antoine Fuqua has signed an overall deal at Netflix.
- Group Nine Media will create programming for Discovery+.
Casting News
- Nick Offerman has joined the cast of The Last of Us on HBO.
Mark Your Calendar
- 1883 premieres on Paramount+ on December 19.
- The Matrix Resurrections will premiere on HBO Max on December 22.
- Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts will debut on HBO Max on January 1.
- Munich: The Edge Of War will debut on Netflix on January 21.
- Finding Magic Mike will premiere on HBO Max on December 16.
- Raised by Wolves will return on Apple TV+ on February 3.
- A Discovery of Witches will return on Sundance Now, Shudder and AMC+ on January 8.
- Secrets of Sulphur Springs will return on Disney Channel on January 16.
- Love During Lockup will return on WE tv on January 7.
- Stay Close will debut on Netflix on December 31.
- STAND BY ME Doraemon 2 will return on Netflix on December 24.
- March, an eight-episode series about the Prairie View A&M University Marching Band, The Marching Storm, will debut on The CW on January 24.
- The Supernatural Academy will premiere on Peacock on January 20.
- Texas Chainsaw Massacre will premiere on Netflix on February 18.
- Shatner in Space will premiere on Amazon on December 15.
- Home Town returns on HGTV on December 26.
- Valley of the Queens premieres on Science Channel on December 5. Secrets of the Celtic Grave on December 12.
R.I.P.
Martha De Laurentiis, Executive producer of Hannibal and co-founder of Dino De Laurentiis Company
Bob Dole, Former Republican Senator and Presidential nominee
This clip of Bob Dole and Norm Macdonald a week after Dole lost in 1996 is so great and it's beyond sad to lose both of them this year.pic.twitter.com/gUa2B9Dnfg
— Josh Jordan (@NumbersMuncher) December 5, 2021
Yvonne Wilder, Actor in West Side Story and Seems Like Old Times
Stonewall Jackson, Country songwriter and member of the Grand Ol’ Opry
Colonel Edward Shames, The last living member of the paratrooper team featured in Band of Brothers
WATCH THIS
Landscapers: The amazing Olivia Coleman and David Thewlis star in this limited series based on the true story of Chris and Susan Edwards, who by all appearances were a perfectly average middle-aged couple, until two bodies were discovered in their backyard. Series premiere. 8 p.m., HBO
The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All: The thing where the men yell at each other and puff up their chests in an attempt to be memorable enough to earn a spot on Bachelor in Paradise. 8 p.m., ABC
Michael Bublé’s Christmas in the City: I regret to inform you that Bublé is up to it again. 9 p.m., NBC
A Very Boy Band Holiday: Oh, ABC sees your Michael Bublé, NBC, and they raise you: Joey Fatone, Chris Kirkpatrick, Lance Bass, Wanya Morris, Shawn Stockman, Bobby Brown, Michael Bivins, Joey McIntyre, Erik-Michael Estrada, Nick Lachey, Drew Lachey, Jeff Timmons and Justin Jeffre. 7 p.m., ABC
The Forever Prisoner: Documentarian Alex Gibney examines the clandestine operations that have trapped certain prisoners in Guantánamo in a legal limbo for decades. 9 p.m., HBO
Late Night:
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jonah Hill, Tig Notaro, Dan + Shay
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Michael J. Fox, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Ashley Williams, Nikki Glaspie
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Jennifer Lawrence, Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Zachary Levi, Nicole Byer, Nnena
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Jennifer Aniston, Ann Dowd, Kathryn Hahn, Kevin Hart, John Lithgow, Jon Stewart, Allison Tolman, Gabrielle Union, Damon Wayans Sr., Guillermo del Toro, Courtney Barnett
- The Daily Show: TBA
- Watch What Happens Live: Rachel Hargrove, Jessica Albert
MON. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
ABC | A Very Boy Band Holiday (new) |
The Bachelorette (new) |
CBS | The Neighborhood (new) |
Bob ♥ Abishola (new) |
NCIS (new) |
NCIS: Hawai’i (new) |
CW | All American (new) |
The 4400 (new) |
Local |
FOX | 9-1-1 (new) |
The Big Leap (new) |
News/Local |
NBC | The Voice (new) |
Michael Bublé’s Christmas In The City (new) |