I will never stop laughing at Newsmax’s Greg Kelly’s terrible pants.

by Therese Odell, posted in Uncategorized

It’s Friday. It is not Saturday.

And this is exactly why I keep telling you people what day it is:

All Other TV News

The single funniest thing I’ve seen today is Newsmax’s Greg Kelly defensively trying to claim that his pair of GENUINELY TERRIBLE cargo pants cost $1200, as if that makes them good and not weird and ill-fitting, when — Plot Twist! — the pants he was wearing actually cost $97 from Alibaba.

Literally, LITERALLY, nothing will give me more joy than this today. This is a thing a grown-ass man typed out: “the most prestigious brand in PANTS”  — HE TYPED THAT! THAT’S A THING HE TYPED! A THING THAT HE THOUGHT SOUNDED REASONABLE!

Impeachment: American Crime Story has full input from one Monica Lewinsky, who is not only a producer, but is “involved with every script” according to Ryan Murphy. And here’s something I did not know until today: Clive Owen is going to play Bill Clinton? What the huh?

Elon Musk is not the first non-entertainer to host Saturday Night Live and, unfortunately for all of us, he won’t be the last.

Wait, people are blaming Kourtney Kardashian for the end of Keeping Up With the Kardashians and not the fact that Ryan Seacrest Productions signed an overall deal with ABC Studios? Lol, ok.

Oh no, we’re going to lose Jen Psaki? (In a year, maybe.) BUT SHE’S SOOO GOOOOOOOOD!

Yo-Yo Ma playing DMX and Britney Spears on his cello for Desus & Mero is as delightful as it sounds.

UPDATE: I’m still laughing at Greg Kelly’s pants.

Going Viral

The case numbers continue to tick downwards and look good, the job numbers … eh, not so much.

Meanwhile, as businesses start returning in person, they are weighing the question of whether or not to require their employees to get the vaccine. Many would very much like to so as to protect their workforce and their customers, but they are worried about being sued.

It’s interesting, though not exactly equivalent, but in the cruise industry, the CDC has decided against requiring passengers to be vaccinated in order to take a cruise. This decision comes in large part because the state of Florida, from which most U.S. cruises dock, made it illegal for businesses to require their patrons be vaccinated. Florida’s dumbass GOP thought this would be good for businesses, but instead, it is profoundly complicating things for the cruise industry in particular. Now before they can start cruising again, the cruise lines have to — and this is true — do test cruises with volunteer passengers to make sure they can cruise safely. Additionally, the passengers will no longer be able to explore destinations on their own, and masks and social distancing will still be required. None of this would be required if the federal government could just say, “Sorry, no vaccine: no cruise!” but they’ve been hamstrung by local anti-science governments. It’s all very stupid and counterproductive.

People are still real mad at Ivanka for getting vaccinated.

“Being a test subject is not my idea of wisdom…. Sad that you and others would even condone this…. Can’t wait for Americans to wake up!” wrote one Twitter user in response to Ivanka’s second dose. “Sad and regrettable that you promotes an EXPERIMENTAL substance disguised as a ‘vaccine’ that does not ‘Vaccinate’,” said another. Other responses included “Love your family but this is a huge NO for me & my family. Will be praying you do not get any of the horrible side affects”; “Grateful until you get [sick face emoji] from it”; and “You are crazy. Vaccine is poison.” 

Ivanka, you ain’t my favorite, but I’m still grateful you did this so publicly since your cowardly father refused to.

Japan may not be ready for the Summer Olympics after all.

Chicago, the musical, will return to the stage for its 25th season on September 14 in New York. (I promise I won’t mention every Broadway show returning — but this feels like a notable development.)

The L.A. Pride Parade will be canceled again this year, but promises to return in 2022.

Here’s an interesting video on how crowd scenes have been created during a time when people are supposed to stay six feet apart:

Cancellations

In Development

 Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • The Bold Type will return on Freeform on May 26.
  • Sailor Moon Eternal will premiere on Netflix on June 3.
  • Muppets Haunted Mansion will debut on Disney+ this fall.
  • Dancing Queens will premiere on Netflix on June 3.
  • The Neighbor debuts on Netflix on May 21.
  • Going from Broke returns on Crackle on May 20.
  • The Amusement Park will premiere on Shudder on June 8.
  • Xtreme will debut on Netflix on June 4.
  • Mad for Each Other will debut on Netflix on May 24.
  • Creator’s File: GOLD will premiere on Netflix on June 3.

R.I.P.

Bob Abernethy, Host of PBS’s Religion & Ethics NewsWeekly, and longtime NBC News correspondent

Jimmy Rich, Robert Downey Jr.’s longtime personal assistant

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Jupiter’s Legacy: The children of the first generation of superheroes have to live up to their parents’ legacy in this new series. Series premiere. Netflix

Dynasty: Alexis has some advice for Fallon’s wedding, not that Fallon asked, in the season premiere. 8 p.m., The CW

Magnum P.I.: Higgins is invited to join Doctors Without Borders in the season finale. WILL SHE ACCEPT? 8 p.m., CBS

SATURDAY

Vax Live: Celebrities, royals, politicians, and musicians come together to educate and encourage people to get the damn vaccine already.  7 p.m., ABC & CBS; 10 p.m., Fox

Saturday Night Live: Elon Musk & Miley Cyrus 10:30 p.m., NBC

Greenland: If you haven’t already had enough of the apocalypse, Gerard Butler and his family fight to get to the safety of Greenland as a “planet-killing” comet hurtles towards Earth in what is called by some critics, “an improbably entertaining time.” This is one of those movies that had the misfortune of opening last year, and I’d never heard of it until today, so who knows.   7 p.m., HBO

SUNDAY

Watch What Happens Live: The Real Housekids of Bravo, because we know who the real stars of these shows are. 9 p.m., Bravo

Burning Little Lies: Not to be confused with Little Fires Everywhere. 7 p.m., Lifetime

Beware of Mom: HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, EVERYONE! 7 p.m., LMN

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Jessica Biel, Chiara Aurelia, Nick Thune, Mad Foxes
  • Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): The Real Housekids of Bravo, featuring Brielle Biermann, Riley Burruss, Frankie Catania, Briana Culberson, Gia Giudice, Albie & Chris Manzo, Brooks Marks, Shane Keough, Noelle Robinson, Avery Singer, Kairo Whitfield, Portia Umansky

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Shark Tank
(new)		 20/20
CBS Kids Say the Darndest Things
(repeat)		 Magnum P.I.
(new)		 Blue Bloods
(new)
CW Charmed
(new)		 Dynasty
(new)		 Local
FOX Friday Night Smackdown Local
NBC The Blacklist
(new)		 Dateline

—

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC VAX LIVE: The Concert to Reunite the World American Idol
(repeat)		 News/Local
CBS VAX LIVE: The Concert to Reunite the World 48 Hours 48 Hours News/Local
FOX MLS Soccer
(live)		 News/Local
NBC Dateline
(repeat)		 Dateline
(repeat)		 Saturday Night Live
(repeat)		 News/
Local		 Saturday Night Live
(Elon Musk & Miley Cyrus)

—

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)		 American Idol
(new)		 The Rookie
(new)
CBS 60 Minutes NCIS: Los Angeles
(new)		 NCIS: New Orleans
(new)
The CW Local DC’s Legends of Tomorrow
(new)		 Batwoman
(new)		 Local
FOX The Simp-sons
(repeat)		 Bless the Harts
(repeat)		 The Simp-sons
(new)		 The Great North
(new)		 Bob’s Burgers
(new)		 Family Guy
(new)		 Local/News
NBC American Ninja Warrior
(new)		 Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist
(new)		 Good Girls
(new)

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