It is finally Tuesday, October 13th, and the ratfuckers in the Texas GOP were unable to delay early voting. So if you are reading this in our great Lone Star State, GET OUT THERE AND VOTE!
Voting in Texas? Actor and TX native @iamjamiefoxx is breaking down everything you need to know ahead of the election
— NowThis (@nowthisnews) October 12, 2020
The GOP ratfuckers are still trying to ratfuck our election here — particularly in Harris County, where they sued LAST NIGHT to stop drive-through voting, and the Fifth Circuit ruled that Texas can have only one drop-off box per county. But the good news is by 2:30 this afternoon, we had broken the record of votes cast on the first day of early voting, and we still had four and half more hours to go:
We've had a record first day of Early Voting in Harris County. So far over 68,000 votes have been cast, beating the 2016 record.
— Harris County Clerk (@HarrisVotes) October 13, 2020
I voted this morning, it took one hour and forty-five minutes, and I was thrilled to be there the entire time. Let’s go, Texas. Let’s teach Greg Abbott and Ken Paxton and the Texas Supreme Court that their voter suppression shenanigans will not be tolerated anymore.
And if you need further inspiration to vote, here’s President Whiskey Tango Foxtrot threatening to kiss everyone in the audience and then dancing on the graves of 220,000 Americans last night at one of his superspreader events:
“I feel so powerful. I’ll kiss everyone in that audience… the guys and the beautiful women.”
Less than two weeks after going to hospital with coronavirus, President Trump says he'll give his supporters “a big fat kiss”. pic.twitter.com/l7JiUzcjuZ
— Channel 4 News (@Channel4News) October 13, 2020
— Andy Ostroy (@AndyOstroy) October 13, 2020
And here’s Mitch McConnell giggling when confronted with his failures to deal with a pandemic that has killed — that number again — 220,000 AMERICANS.
It's obvious that Mitch McConnell isn't taking this election, COVID, or KY voters seriously. pic.twitter.com/pnaTR78yWi
— Kelsie Taggart (@kelsientaggart) October 13, 2020
And if all THAT isn’t enough reason, allow The Simpsons to give you 50 more reasons to vote for Biden:
Made it okay to shoot hibernating bears
Put children in cages
Called Mexicans rapists
Imitated disabled reporter
Looks lousy in a tennis outfit
Can’t get wife to hold hand
Called third world countries ****holes
Called Tim Cook ‘Tim Apple’
Said Jewish people who vote Democrat are disloyal
Showed top secret documents at Mar-A-Lago restaurant
Called white supremacists ‘fine people’
Leaked classified information to Russian ambassador
Asked the president of Ukraine to investigate the Bidens
Called for China to investigate the Bidens
Walked into the dressing room at Miss Teen USA pageant
Pressed the Australian prime minister to help Barr investigate Mueller
Talked about grabbing *****
Lied about the size of his inauguration
Refused to release tax returns
Gutted the E.P.A.
Confiscated and destroyed interpreter’s notes after meeting with Putin
Tweeted classified photo of Iran missile site
Called Baltimore a ‘disgusting, rat and rodent-infested mess’
Described Meryl Streep as ‘over-rated’
Leaked information to the press about the 2017 Manchester arena bombing
Did not attend any White House correspondents’ dinner
Said Megyn Kelly had ‘blood coming out of her whatever’
Called Carly Fiorina ‘horseface’
Brought Ivanka to the G7 summit
Appointed and didn’t fire Betsy DeVos
Put Jared in charge of Mideast
Served McDonald’s to Clemson football team
Lost Hong Kong
Threatened Marie Yovanovitch
Pulled the U.S. out of climate agreement
Allowed bounties on soldiers
Withdrew from W.H.O.
Bragged about knowing the date
Said to swallow bleach
Person, woman, man, camera, TV
Destroyed post office
Paid $750 in taxes
Wants third term
Wanted to be on Mount Rushmore
And we haven’t even said the worst one
Jimmy Kimmel conducts his own polling to confirm President No One Has Done More for Black People Except Abraham Lincoln’s assertion that he’ll be receiving 95% of the Black vote:
Megan Thee Stallion’s shooter, rapper Tory Lanez, was finally charged with shooting her last week. Related: Megan Thee Stallion wrote a powerful essay in The New York Times today about how the message “Protect Black Women” SHOULD NOT BE A CONTROVERSIAL POSITION.
I recently used the stage at “Saturday Night Live” to harshly rebuke Kentucky’s attorney general, Daniel Cameron, for his appalling conduct in denying Breonna Taylor and her family justice. I anticipated some backlash: Anyone who follows the lead of Congressman John Lewis, the late civil rights giant, and makes “good trouble, necessary trouble,” runs the risk of being attacked by those comfortable with the status quo.
But you know what? I’m not afraid of criticism. We live in a country where we have the freedom to criticize elected officials. And it’s ridiculous that some people think the simple phrase “Protect Black women” is controversial. We deserve to be protected as human beings. And we are entitled to our anger about a laundry list of mistreatment and neglect that we suffer.
Blake Jenner, the former Glee actor who was married to Supergirl‘s Melissa Benoist and who she accused of abusing her, posted an apology on Instagram, admitting to the abuse. BUT, he claims he was abused, too.
Anne Heche revealed on Dancing With the Stars that she was warned that if she went public with her relations with Ellen DeGeneres, Fox would cancel her contract with them. She arrived at the premiere of Volcano with Ellen anyway and was ushered out of the film midway through, forbidden to attend her own afterparty. And, yes, she lost her contract. This was only 23 years ago. While we’ve come far in terms of acceptance of LGBTQ equality, just today President Reactionary’s Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett refused to say during her confirmation hearing this morning whether or not she believes marriage equality is protected by the Constitution. These are terrifying times.
WME has fired agent Brent Smith for “behavioral issues.” He was Drake and Kendrick Lamar’s agent.
A documentary called Brainwashed is coming out soon. It’s about “The Menkes List,” a list of five filmmaking techniques used to disempower and objectify women in movies. It’s worth a quick look at the ways women are framed in shots, ways that we subconsciously assign value — or a lack thereof. Be aware.
Days of Our Lives has shut down for two weeks after someone on production tested positive.
The Good Doctor will be tackling COVID-19 in the premiere.
— The Good Doctor (@GoodDoctorABC) October 12, 2020
The Masked Dancer — which is exactly what it sounds like — is going into production with safety measures in place.
Britain’s Got Talent Christmas special has shut down after three members of the crew tested positive.
HBO’s The Gilded Age had to pause production when two crew members tested positive.
Cristiano Ronaldo is positive for the virus.
The Designing Women cast is reuniting for a table read to benefit World Central Kitchen.
Barry Williams and Christopher Knight and a cast of Broadway performers will perform A Very Brady Musical via Zoom — and make good use of those squares — to raise money for the Ogunquit Playhouse, a theater in Maine.
The New York Philharmonic is skipping the Winter/Spring season. And Flying Over Sunset has pushed back its opening on Broadway until fall, or possibly 2022.
BREAKING: Johnson & Johnson Covid-19 vaccine study paused due to unexplained illness in participant https://t.co/xbtAvytCU8
— STAT (@statnews) October 13, 2020
For the love of all that is good, DO NOT WORSHIP DONALD TRUMP AS A GOD. THAT WILL NEVER END WELL.
All Other TV News
It’s Bachelorette day. Hooray. Here’s an extended trailer showing us some of the shenanigans we can expect:
And here Rob Mills, ABC Entertainment’s senior vice president of alternative series, specials & late-night programming, talks about this crazy season, COVID protocols, quarantining, and why they chose Clare, if you’re interested.
Hey — did you enjoy The Haunting of Bly Manor? Here are 10 other spooky things I highly recommend. (And I know most of you don’t have Shudder or AMC+, but Host is really really good. I’m not saying you should subscribe just for that little film, just that you should know it’s out there.)
Apparently, it’s Treat Yo’ Self Day?
It's the best day of the year!
Tell us how you treat yo’ self using #TreatYoSelfSweepstakes & #PeacockTV for a chance to win a care package with @Dove body polish, vouchers from @MagnumIceCream & @TalentiGelato! https://t.co/FYlbo9dY06
— Parks and Recreation (@parksandrec) October 13, 2020
Netflix is making Narcos available on Pluto for free, a first for the streamer.
- Ted Lasso has been renewed for a third season on Apple TV+.
- Slay, a supernatural drama executive produced by Regina King, is being developed at The CW. Sign. Me. Up.
- The Growing Season, a drama, is being developed at ABC.
- SpaceX, a limited series about Elon Musk’s SpaceX program, is being developed at HBO.
- Flatbush Misdemeanors, a comedy, has been ordered at Showtime.
- Valley Of Tears, an Israeli series about the Yom Kippur War, has been bought by HBO Max.
- MTV Cribs is being rebooted at MTV.
- Pride, an update of Pride and Prejudice, is being developed at HBO.
- The short film Selfie is being turned into a feature for Netflix.
- Raindrop, a sci-fi film, has been bought by Amazon.
- Hamster and Gretel, an animated series from the creator of Phineas and Ferb, is being developed for Disney Channel.
- Billy Buys Brooklyn is coming to Discovery Channel.
- Two history documentaries, Lost Worlds and Hidden Treasures and Lost Relics of the Knights Templar have been bought by Discovery.
- Joshua Jackson is your new Dr. Death, replacing Jamie Dornan on the Peacock series.
- Kyle Chandler will join the cast of Slumberland on Netflix.
- Michael Ealy has been cast in Triage on ABC.
- Izzy G is joining the cast of B Positive on CBS.
- Billy Burke has been cast in Maid on Netflix.
- Warner Miller is joining the cast of Manifest.
- Jessica de Gouw is joining Pennyworth on Epix.
Mark Your Calendars
- Young Sheldon on November 5
- B Positive on November 5
- Mom on November 5
- NCIS: Los Angeles on November 8
- NCIS: New Orleans on November 8
- S.W.A.T. on November 11
- The Neighborhood on November 16
- Bob Hearts Abishola on November 16
- All Rise on November 16
- NCIS on November 17
- The Crown will return on Netflix on November 15.
- Big Sky will debut on ABC on November 17.
- Operation Christmas Drop will premiere on Netflix on November 5.
- Seduced: Inside the NXIVM Cult will air on Starz on October 18.
- Dream Corp LLC will return on Adult Swim on October 25.
- I’m Your Woman will debut on Amazon on December 11.
- Total Bellas returns on E! on November 12.
- Shameless will return for its final season on December 6.
- His Dark Materials will return on HBO on November 16.
- In Wonder will debut on Netflix on November 23.
- National Dog Show will air on Thanksgiving Day, November 26.
- My Little Pony: Pony Life will debut on Discovery Family on November 7.
- Snapped: The Killer Women Event will begin on ID on November 9.
- Freeform’s “Countdown to Christmas” dates have been announced. The programming block will begin on November 1.
- Chico Bon Bon returns on Netflix on October 27.
Conchata Ferrell, Actress known for her work on Two and a Half Men
The Bachelorette: Aaaaaand 7 months later here we are with one of the most anticipated and most controversial seasons ever. Don’t get too attached to Bachelorette Clare is all I’m saying. Season premiere. Send box wine. 7 p.m., ABC
Evil Eye: The other two Blumhouse horror movies drop: In Evil Eye, a mother worries that her daughter’s new boyfriend is the reincarnation of the man who tried to kill her decades before. Premiere. Amazon
Nocturne: And in this film, a music student begins to outshine her twin sister when she finds the notebook of a recently deceased classmate. MUSIC BE SPOOKY. Premiere. Amazon
The Cabin with Bret Kreischer: Comedian Bret Kreischer goes out to the woods with his celebrity friends and does cabin stuff. Series premiere. Netflix
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Patrick Dempsey, Clare Crawley, OneRepublic
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Watch What Happens Live: Lenny Kravitz, Hoda Kotb
|Celebrity Family Feud
|The FBI Declassified
|Tell Me a Story
|FOX||Cosmos: Possible Worlds
|Ellen’s Game of Games