BREAKING: Halfwitted COVID-19 denier contracts COVID-19

by Therese Odell, posted in Uncategorized

It’s Wednesday and here are some penguins chasing bubbles:

Texas moron Louie Gohmert has tested positive the same day he was in a Congressional hearing with Attorney General and Head Toad, Bill Barr. In fact, he escorted Barr to the hearing and neither of them was wearing masks — because that has been something Gohmert has refused to do during all of this, wear a mask.

Gohmert was tested because he was scheduled to fly back to Texas with President Denier today. It should also be noted that this fucking mold brain went to his office to deliver the news of his positive status IN PERSON. Jesus fucking Christ, these people.

UPDATE: Since I posted this, this Shit For Brains is now blaming the mask for giving him coronavirus.

I happen to know of a doctor here in Texas with some unconventional ideas about COVID-19 that Gohmert could see …

Speaking of Stella Immanuel … GOD DAMMIT, MADONNA, NO.

But don’t worry, President Demon Sperm is still defending Dr. Immanuel:

The White House continues to defend this demon-believing lunatic:

And Fox News is ON IT:

Reminder: Clinical trials have shown no benefit from using hydroxychloroquine, and in fact there are detrimental side effects for some patients.

Also, the Russians are weaponizing this conspiracy theorizing against us:

No names of websites have been given yet, but be careful out there.

During yesterday’s White House COVID-19 briefing, President Victim whined that Dr. Fauci’s approval ratings are higher than his. HMM. MAYBE THAT’S BECAUSE DR. FAUCI TRIED TO PREVENT 150,000 AMERICANS FROM DYING INSTEAD OF TRYING TO SHUT DOWN TESTING AND FLINGING OPEN THE COUNTRY.

Look at this whiny little bitch:

Fauci has “got this high approval rating, so why don’t I have a high approval rating … and the administration, with respect to the virus?” Trump said, touting the total number of coronavirus tests, the delivery of personal protective equipment.

“So it sort of is curious: A man works for us — with us, very closely, Dr. Fauci, and Dr. [Deborah] Birx also highly thought of. And yet, they’re highly thought of, but nobody likes me. It can only be my personality. That’s all.”

Speaking of unlikeable people, The Real Housewives of New Jersey has resumed filming.

Also resuming filming: Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy!

Thanks to the pandemic, movies will now be available on VOD after 17 days of release in theaters. This is one of the biggest changes to the movie industry since the advent of streamers and even VHS.

All Other TV News

HEY, GEORGE. EITHER GIVE UP THE BOOK OR GO TO JAIL. YOU’RE THE ONE WHO MADE UP THE RULES.

I swear to God, y’all. Lindelof is not doing another season of Watchmen. LET IT GO.

The creator of Dead to Me is claiming that she always meant for it to only run for three seasons and that this isn’t some of Netflix’s bullshit in which they cancel shows before their fourth season. OK.

Get Ya Life!, the Tamar Braxton series that was supposed to debut this week, has been postponed after her hospitalization. Get better soon, Tamar.

PBS is launching a PBS Channel on Amazon Prime. It will include “a library of programs including the entire Ken Burns collections and films from “Nova,” “Frontline,” “American Masters,” “Nature, “American Experience,” “Independent Lens,” “POV” and other independent producers.”

Maya Willey is stepping away as an NBC News contributor to run for mayor of New York City. Good luck, Ms. Wiley!

PLEASE STOP ASKING SUPERMARKET SWEEP‘S DAVID RUPRECHT FOR FEET PICS, YOU WEIRDOS.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Ratched will debut on Netflix on September 18.
  • The Comey Rule will debut on Showtime on September 27. Watch the trailer at the link.
  • The Umbrella Academy returns on Netflix on July 31.
  • The Sonata will premiere on Crackle on August 1.
  • American Chopper returns with a special on August 4 on Discovery.
  • I Quit will debut on Discovery on August 18.

PBS made a number of announcements:

R.I.P.

Maurice “Reese” Schonfeld, The first president of CNN

Beckie Mullen, An original GLOW wrestler known as “The Farmer’s Daughter”

WATCH THIS

The Weight of Gold: This documentary explores the mental health tolls Olympic athletes face, which I’m sure would have been a very timely piece if the Olympics hadn’t been canceled by the virus. 8 p.m., HBO

The Godfather marathon: Just when you thought you were out, THEY PULL YOU BACK IN. 4 p.m., IFC

Ladhood: Comedian Liam Williams looks back on his adolescence in this British comedies, because that’s all TV is now, recycled British comedies thanks to COVID-19. Series premiere. Hulu

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Ice T, Jack Whitehall, Charlie Wilson
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: David Schwimmer
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Watch What Happens Live: Naomi Campbell, Garcelle Beauvais

 

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC United We Fall
(new)		 The Goldbergs
(repeat)		 The Conners
(repeat)		 American Housewife
(repeat)		 Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
(new)
CBS Tough As Nails
(new)		 The Price is Right Primetime Special
(repeat)		 SEAL Team
(repeat)
CW The 100
(repeat)		 Bulletproof
(new)		 Local
FOX MasterChef
(repeat)		 Ultimate Tag
(new)		 News/Local
NBC Chicago Med
(repeat)		 Chicago Fire
(repeat)		 Chicago P.D.
(repeat)

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