Welcome to Week Seven! How’s everyone holding up?

Good morning! In honor of Kate McKinnon’s cat, the real star of this weekend’s Saturday Night Live At-Home episode (Brad Pitt who?), here are two amazing cat tweets that have absolutely nothing to do with COVID-19:

Oh, cats, you rascals.

Alright, so let’s start with a little bit of upside news to all of this: If you’re an Amazon Fire user, for one year you can use Food Network Kitchen for free. And honestly, who couldn’t use a few cooking suggestions right now?

This is also a good time to remind you that your free access to some HBO shows will end this week, so binge hard, y’all.

NBC will host a virtual Upfront event on May 11, the same date they were scheduled to host an actual Upfront.

The Academy of Country Music Awards have not only been moved in time — they’ll be moved in space, too. The awards, which were supposed to be held in mid-March in Los Angeles, are now going to be held on September 16 in Nashville.

A pair of producers have drafted a potential solution to getting productions up and running again, a plan that relies heavily on quarantining, testing, and isolating. It’s actually a good idea that I suspect will be how shows and films will return, but it requires a LOT of cooperation, not only from the cast and crew, but from unions who might not approve of the scaled-down size of the sets.

Meanwhile, Iceland is hoping to resume productions as of this week.

But Sky has shut down all international productions until next year.

And this virus is going to make it harder for older actors to get work, as insurers are going to be a lot less likely to insure productions that feature actors over 65 years old.

Y’ALL. AMY POEHLER AND WILL ARNETT ARE QUARANTINING TOGETHER. (Maybe.) It probably doesn’t mean anything, seeing as his girlfriend is about to have his baby and is presumably quarantining with them. BUT STILL.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is SO MAD at Meghan McCain, you guys. CONSERVATIVE BLOND FIGHT!

Meanwhile, the President of the United States continues to be a fucking idiot. Because he went out on Thursday and said that we should look into injecting disinfectants or using UV light in the body … somehow … and because everyone in the country was like, “THE FUCK DID HE JUST SAY?” President Turdbrain tried to save face by claiming he was being “sarcastic.” Then, the next day, he showed up to the press briefing but refused to take any questions because he knew he done fucked up.

The problem is with the country shut down he can’t hold any of his ego-stroking rallies, so he was using the press briefings to soothe the constant gnawing awareness that he’s a moron and no one likes him. But now for the briefest of moments, he thought he can’t attend those, either, and he began losing his damn mind.

First, he tweeted that there was no point in even having the press briefings if everyone was just going to air them unedited and let him hang himself with his own words report “inaccurately”:

And then he went on a truly bizarre Twitter rant about the Noble Prize [sic] and journalists and Russia:

Screen Shot 2020-04-27 at 2.11.10 PM


OK, a couple of things. Obviously, it is the Nobel Prize, not the Noble Prize, and second of all, he’s thinking of the Pulitzer. Nobel does not give awards for journalism. Also, what, exactly, would anyone sue Nobel (or Noble) or the Pulitzers for, exactly? They are allowed to give awards to whomever they please.

But then! he deleted all of those insane tweets and tried AGAIN to claim he was being “sarcastic.”

So after this most recent debacle, the White House canceled today’s press briefing altogether, before announcing that PSYCHE! it’s back on, because President Narcissistic Personality Disorder needs his attention fix. However, note how they are spinning this: the press briefings will now be less about the science/medical side of things and more about reopening the country. So goodbye, Dr. Facui and Dr. Brix! It was nice having you deliver actual information while we had you!

So now that the White House is being explicit that these will be purely about propaganda will contain no actual science or health news, can we stop airing these press briefings live, cable news networks? PLEASE?

But circling back to this notion of reopening the country for a hot second, in the least surprising news of the day, the leader of ReOpen North Carolina has tested positive for COVID-19 and this stupid bitch is whinging about having to quarantine so as to not get other people sick. I CANNOT with these fucking morons who are trying to get everyone killed.

Dear President Dum-Dum:

This is sarcasm:

Nick Cordero, the Broadway actor who lost a leg to this virus, also had to have a pacemaker installed.

Leah Bernstein is the sixth person to die at Motion Picture & Television Fund’s skilled nursing home in Woodland Hills, California.

Riz Ahmed of The Night of and Rogue One, says he’s lost two family members to the virus.

Nico Santos of Superstore lost his stepfather to COVID-19.

Eric Eremita of Love It or List It has recovered from the virus.

Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson are donating their plasma to try to help the rest of us.

Meanwhile, Chris Cuomo’s wife is a fucking idiot. Do not listen to her.

The NBA is going to unofficially open workouts and player rehab.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness has been pushed back to 2022.

Good News:

The live performance of Fleabag has raised $1 million so far.

Post Malone’s Nirvana concert also raised $1 million.

The Comedy Store fundraiser raised $100,000 for comedians struggling because of the virus.

The cast of Melrose Place will reunite in Stars in the House to raise money for relief efforts.

Danny Boyle’s theatrical version of Frankenstein starring Jonny Lee Miller and Benedict Cumberbatch will be available to watch for free later this week.

All Other TV News


Kobe Bryant could very well receive his own The Last Dance-style documentary (and considering how well The Last Dance is going over with viewers and critics, it’s al but assured).

“We’re not coming back. There’s no version of us coming back. David and I don’t want to do it anymore.” — David Kohan and Max Mutchnick, the creators of Will & Grace. OK THEN.

Well, well, well. Look who might be returning to American Horror Story:

View this post on Instagram

Coming soon…

A post shared by Ryan Murphy (@mrrpmurphy) on

Dolly Parton produced Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you guys. Both the TV show and the movie.

Homeland ripped off Criminal Minds, and honestly, it as for the best.

Andrew Lincoln is a terrible driver.

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?‘s ratings have not come close to the original’s.

These 9 actors — “stars” is a strong word for some of them — got their start on Unsolved Mysteries.

The Bachelorette‘s and Bachelor in Paradise‘s Blake Horstmann — “Cowboy” as I creatively called him — will go back to Stagecoach, because if he doesn’t, “they win.” LOL.

Duck Dynasty‘s Willie Robertson’s house was the target of a drive-by shooting.

Congratulations to Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger.

WHOA, get better soon, George Gray.

Love is dead.


  • When Calls the Heart has been renewed for season 8.


Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker will premiere on Disney+ on May 4, making the entire Skywalker saga available on the streamer:
  • Becoming will debut on Netflix on May 6.
  • Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy vs. The Reverend will debut on Netflix on May 12.
  • Dead to Me returns on Netflix on May 8.
  • Love, Victor will debut on Hulu on June 19.
  • I May Destroy You will premiere on HBO in June.
  • Barkskins debuts on National Geographic on May 25.
  • Axios returns today on HBO.
  • Blindspot‘s premiere has been pushed back to May 7.
  • Bruh will premiere on BET+ on May 7.


Gene Dynarski, Actor known for his roles on Seinfeld, Star Trek and The X-Files

Jerry Bishop, Judge Judy announcer

Jorge Camara, Former president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association

Grandma Lee, America’s Got Talent season four star

Dimitri Diatchenko, Actor best known for Chernobyl Diaries.

Richard Hake, Host of WNYC’s Morning Edition

Harold Reid, Member of The Statler Brothers


Never Have I Ever: Mindy Kaling’s teen comedy about a first-generation Indian-American teenager is being called the best thing she’s ever done. Series premiere. Netflix

Prodigal Son: The mystery of the girl in the box continues to unfold in the season finale. 8 p.m., Fox

Breeders: This wickedly funny (emphasis on wicked) British comedy about parenthood has flown under the radar. If you can take black humor and missed this one the first time around, I strongly recommend you go back and give it a shot on FX on Hulu. Season finale. 9 p.m., FX

Dispatches from Elsewhere: Season finale. 9 p.m., AMC

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Kate Hudson, Alessia Cara
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Maya Rudolph
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: John Mulaney, John Fogerty
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Joe Jonas, Yungblud
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Elizabeth Banks, Dave Grohl
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Conan: Martin Short
  • Watch What Happens Live: Patti LuPone, Darren Criss
  • A Little Late with Lily Singh: Sara Foster, Erin Foster


MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart
The Baker and the Beauty
CBS The Neighbor-hood
Bob Hearts Abishola
All Rise
CW Whose Line is it Anyway?
Whose Line is it Anyway?
Roswell, New Mexico
FOX 9-1-1
Prodigal Son
NBC The Voice


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