Good news: your favorite Brooklyn-based comedy set in a police precinct has just been renewed for an eighth season ahead of its seventh season premiere. Click through for my updated renew/cancellation gallery. (I’m leading with this instead of impeachment stuff, by the way, because clickies get Momma paid. But obviously, it’s Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Brooklyn Nine-Nine was renewed. And I will say this: this is not great news for Perfect Harmony — what it means is NBC is looking to shore up its strongest comedies before cutting the dead weight away.)
SO. HOW ARE WE ALL FEELING TODAY?
Oh hell yeah pic.twitter.com/SeNa3SKsV8
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) November 13, 2019
Current (!!) Ambassador to Ukraine, Vietnam vet, and West Point graduate, Bill Taylor and Deputy Assistant Secretary of State for European and Eurasian Affairs, George Kent were the first two witnesses to publicly testify yesterday. And, y’all, they did a great job outlining how they came to discover the White House had established an “irregular channel” working counter to official diplomatic channels on Ukraine policy and that irregular channel was behind a scheme to withhold valuable military aid and support to Ukraine in exchange for political dirt on President Corruption’s rival, Joe Biden. You know, bribery. Or extortion. Take your pick.
Ambassador Taylor, in particular, brought home the life-and-death stakes of withholding the money and weapons, noting that Ukrainians fighting Russian invaders died while President What’s In It For Me dicked around with the aid.
Ambassador Taylor also dropped a GODDAMNED BOMB on the hearings when he revealed that on the day after The Phone Call, some of his staffers were at dinner with the Ambassador to the European Union and Trump flunky, Godron “Call Me” Sondland, when he called President Farteater. The staffer says he heard President Brokenbrain ask about the state of the investigations into the Bidens, and Sondland assured him that the Ukrainians were going to play ball.
Also, Taylor said, “Following the call with President Trump, the member of my staff asked Ambassador Sondland what President Trump thought about Ukraine. Ambassador Sondland responded that President Trump cares more about the investigations of [Joe] Biden, which Giuliani was pressing for.”
BUT ALSO, the phone call itself, which was on an unsecured cell phone, is a mind-bogglingly stupid security breach, and many U.S. officials point out that Russia was certainly listening in on the call.
And it’s not just the one State Department staffer (who will be testifying behind closed doors tomorrow) who overheard the conversation: another State Department employee has come forward to say he heard it, too.
NEW from the AP: Suriya Jayanti, a foreign service officer based in Kyiv, ALSO overheard a call between President Trump and Sondland discussing the need for Ukrainian officials to pursue "investigations" https://t.co/nKdXtvlzzb
— Michael Del Moro (@MikeDelMoro) November 14, 2019
Somewhere, Gordon Sondland’s lawyer is pouring himself a stiff scotch.
The Republicans were also at the hearings, but it didn’t go so great for them. Their lawyer didn’t know what he was doing …
Whatever the GOP counsel is doing, it's not working. I don't undertand where he's going.
— Ari Fleischer (@AriFleischer) November 13, 2019
President Cult Leader’s biggest defenders, Jim Jordan and John Ratcliffe, were shrieking idiots who talked over the witnesses, spewed nonsensical conspiracy theories that were impossible to follow, and tried to claim that Taylor and Kent were useless as witnesses because they didn’t speak to President Quid Pro Nope directly.
A couple of fun facts: 1. the White House is blocking most of the people who did deal with the president directly from testifying and 2. Ambassador Sondland, whom we have established through now multiple witnesses spoke directly to the president, will be testifying next week. And considering he is now in some very real perjury danger, methinks he is going to be VERY forthcoming.
Oh and a hilarious thing Ratcliffe actually said OUT LOUD: “If they impeach President Trump for blackmail or extortion or making threats or demands, they have to call President Trump a liar to do it.”
Also this happened:
Rep. Jordan says Congress won’t be able to question the one “who started it all,” referring to the whistleblower.
Rep. Welch: "I'd be glad to have the person who started it all to come in and testify. President Trump is welcome to take a seat right there." pic.twitter.com/nE8Exwn3CG
— BuzzFeed News (@BuzzFeedNews) November 13, 2019
Tomorrow is another big day of testimony: former Ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch will be testifying publicly. As I’m sure you remember, when Yovanovitch refused to do the bidding of Rudy Giuliani and his goon friends, Parnas and Fruman, she was targeted by right-wing media hitjobs, told she needed to tweet nice things about President Narcissistic Personality Disorder and eventually pushed out of her job out of fear for her safety. She was also low-key threatened by President Mobster in The Phone Call, who said she was “going to go through some things.”
So her testimony should be great fun! Tune in pretty much anywhere at 9 a.m. tomorrow.
Other TV Crap
There are so many streaming services all of a sudden, so Seth Meyers does Seth Meyers reviews streaming services for you:
Season 10 of American Horror Story very well might be its last. Ryan Murphy noted in an interview with Deadline that its the last season contracted at FX, so he has been reaching out to fan-favorite actors to appear in it. (Read: Evan Peters and Sarah Paulson WILL BE INVOLVED. DAMMIT.) That said, Murphy has also promised that if FX is done with the series, he would pitch it to Netflix.
Quentin Tarantino is threatening us with a five-episode TV show. Just think of how many feet he can cram into five episodes of television.
Here are 11 just very good facts about The Golden Girls. HOW COULD ANYONE EVER CALL BETTY WHITE THAT?
The cast and crew of Days of Our Lives are insisting that they aren’t going anywhere. But. You guys. It’s not looking good.
True story: ChristmasCon is a convention for fans of Hallmark Channel’s Christmas movies. True story: no thank you.
Disney+ is streaming the original and unedited episodes of Gargoyles which apparently is a big deal for lots of people. You do you, Gargoyles fans.
One of the complaints I’ve seen about the Disney+/Hulu bundle is that you can’t get the ad-free Hulu with the bundle. This Lifehacker article walks you through how you can, actually, get it. HOWEVER, PLEASE NOTE: This is not the bundle that includes ESPN+ (which is the one I need because the husband insists on watching soccer for some reason.)
Listen, there is some bummer koala news out there related to the wildfires that are tearing across Australia right now. But this is not a bummer koala story. This is a story about chlamydia-riddled koala triumphing over a shitty reality show.
Lizzo for President:
- Brooklyn Nine-Nine has been renewed for an eighth season on NBC.
- Full Frontal with Samantha Bee has been renewed through 2020.
- For All Mankind has been renewed for a second season on Apple TV+.
- Divorce Court; 25 Words or Less; and Dish Nation have been renewed.
- A Beverly Hills Cop sequel starring Eddie Murphy is in the works at Netflix.
- Sometimes I Lie, a limited drama series starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, is being developed at Fox.
- Love, And …, a romantic drama; The Bunker, a supernatural drama; The Park, a theme park comedy; and Post Office, a comedy set in … a post office, have all been bought by NBC.
- Snap, a drama, has been set at Fox.
- Showtime and A24 Films have signed a deal in which A24 will provide up to 16 new films a year to the network.
- Ultimate Surfer, a surfing competition hosted by Kelly Slater, has been ordered by ABC.
- A comedy starring London Hughes has been given a put pilot commitment at NBC.
- The Peripheral, based on the William Gibson novel, has been ordered to series at Amazon.
- Master, a film produced by and starring Regina Hall, has been set at Amazon.
- Home Town Rescue has been ordered at HGTV.
- The Russo brothers are developing a series about the Marvel and DC rivalry at Quibi.
- A Turkish social thriller has been ordered at Netflix.
- Alicia Keys will host The Grammys again.
- Carla Hall, Niklas Ekstedt and Heston Blumenthal are going to judge Crazy Delicious on Netflix.
- Stephen Bishop will co-star in the Starz comedy Run the World.
- Dan Bakkedahl and Augusto Aguilera are joining Made for Love on HBO Max.
- Lorraine Toussaint, Chet Hanks, and Jimi Stanton are going to guest star on Your Honor on Showtime.
- Chiara Aurelia, Mika Abdalla, Michael Landes, Froy Gutierrez, Harley Quinn Smith, Allius Barnes, Blake Lee, Nathaniel Ashton, Brooklyn Sudano have been cast in Last Summer for Freeform.
- Paul Gorman, Brownyn James, and Chris J. Donald are joining the cast of Outlander.
- Anna Friel, Britt Robertson, Rafi Gavron, and Yul Vazquez have joined the cast of Books of Blood for Hulu.
- Tamara Podemski is joining Run on HBO.
Mark Your Calendars
- The Bachelor returns to ruin my life on January 7.
- Harry Styles is your Saturday Night Live host this weekend.
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert will do a week of shows in New Zealand beginning November 18.
- Trending Fear will debut on Travel Channel on December 20.
- Alaskan Bush People returns on Discovery on December 4.
- Homicide for the Holidays returns on Oxygen on December 7.
- Eddie Griffin: E-Niggma will air on Showtime on December 6.
Niall Tòibín, Irish actor
Supernatural: “Sam and Dean’s routine case turns out to be anything but.” OK, but when your job is demon hunting, is there ever a “routine case?” 7 p.m., The CW
Grey’s Anatomy: Meredith must deal with her past in the 350th episode of this never-ending series. 7 p.m., ABC
To Kill a Mockingbird: Where’s Atticus when you need him? 7 p.m., TCM
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Alex Rodriguez, Lili Reinhart, Ian Lara
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Sean Hayes, Jean Smart, Chris Johnson
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Mark Ruffalo, Andy Cohen
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Sen. Kamala Harris, Don Johnson, Sleater-Kinney
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Jeff Goldblum, Camila Morrone, Jeff Goldblum and the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra featuring Sharon Van Etten
- The Daily Show: Steve Ballmer, Jeff Garlin
- Conan: Zach Woods
- Lights Out with David Spade: Jeff Ross, Brad Williams, Annie Lederman
- Watch What Happens Live: Kristin Davis, John Benjamin Hickey
- A Little Late with Lily Singh: Jenny Slate, Kathryn Hahn
|A Million Little Things
|How to Get Away With Murder
|Carol’s Second Act
|FOX||Thursday Night Football
|The Good Place
|Will & Grace
|Law & Order: SVU