A very not interesting fact about me: when I fly somewhere, I like to bring along three or four New Yorker magazines that have gone unread because I have to spend my time watching hours and hours of Real Housewives and developing opinions about their behavior. And so, almost three weeks ago, as I was flying to Dublin with my family, I happened to read an old New Yorker issue from April which included in its “Talk of the Town” section, a breezy, almost flip mini-article about how E. Jean Carroll, the long-time advice columnist for Elle Magazine, offers a “Hideous Men” walking tour of New York City. She takes her tour to places where women have been “scronched, thumped, pummelled, banged, and rogered by men,” including the Oak Room at the Plaza Hotel, Tiffany’s, Fox News, CBS News and, of course, Trump Tower.
The tour continued on to Trump Tower, where the group walked past a line of heavily armed soldiers. “Twenty-three women have come forward to say that President Trump tried to ogle, touch, grindy-grindy, grabby-grabby, and worse with them,” Carroll said. “It is twenty-four women if we include Ivana, the mother of Don, Jr., Eric, and Ivanka.”
Of course, we now know that her number really should have been twenty-five, as Carroll herself came out in a New York Magazine article just three days after I read this New Yorker piece, claiming that Donald Trump had at the very least sexually assaulted her, but as others have clarified, at the very worst raped her. Carroll herself never uses the word “rape” to describe what happened between her and the future president of the United States, but if it happened the way she alleges, that is the only way to describe the incident.
The moment the dressing-room door is closed, he lunges at me, pushes me against the wall, hitting my head quite badly, and puts his mouth against my lips. I am so shocked I shove him back and start laughing again. He seizes both my arms and pushes me up against the wall a second time, and, as I become aware of how large he is, he holds me against the wall with his shoulder and jams his hand under my coat dress and pulls down my tights.
I am astonished by what I’m about to write: I keep laughing. The next moment, still wearing correct business attire, shirt, tie, suit jacket, overcoat, he opens the overcoat, unzips his pants, and, forcing his fingers around my private area, thrusts his penis halfway — or completely, I’m not certain — inside me. It turns into a colossal struggle. I am wearing a pair of sturdy black patent-leather four-inch Barneys high heels, which puts my height around six-one, and I try to stomp his foot. I try to push him off with my one free hand — for some reason, I keep holding my purse with the other — and I finally get a knee up high enough to push him out and off and I turn, open the door, and run out of the dressing room.
This revelation comes at the end of a very long piece in which Carroll describes other encounters with other “hideous” men and how sexual assault can be this blurry, confusing thing that crushes a victim, sometimes making them feel complicit in their own attack. Her piece, which is powerfully written, every single word of it, is an intelligent and wry rebuttal to those who wonder why assault survivors don’t come forward or wait to come forward long after the assault has taken place.
And the fact that despite having two contemporaneous witnesses, despite this story containing a multitude of details that could be at least looked into, despite the fact that this woman has nothing to gain from accusing the most powerful man in the world of raping her twenty years ago, and everything including her credibility, reputation and physical safety to lose, the fact that we collectively have shrugged at this story and moved on, it astounds me. It infuriates me. And do not even get me started on the fact that Trump’s only defense to this story is that Carroll’s not “his type,” or that not one reporter had the wherewithal or courage to ask him what the type of woman he would rape would be.
A couple of days ago, I mentioned that it was shocking to me that I had already forgotten that Trump nearly launched an attack on Iran before backing off of it in the last second, and that still shocks me if I think about it too long. But our disinterest in the fact that the President of the United States has been credibly accused of sexually assaulting more than two dozen women, this is perhaps the most shocking and disgusting thing in an especially shocking and disgusting time. Had this been Obama, or honestly, any other President, Carroll’s allegations would be the only thing occupying the national conversation for months, perhaps during the entirety of his term. We don’t have to look particularly far back in history to know this is the truth.
And I guess because of the sheer amount of crap this administration and this wart of a human being drowns us in every single day, from children in cages, to manipulating the census and trying to create a Constitutional crisis, to bringing tanks onto the National Mall, to yukking it up with Vladimir Putin, to cozying up with Kim Jong-un and giving North Korea a propaganda win, to absolving Muhammed Bin Salman of killing an American resident and undermining his own intelligence agencies (all of which have happened in just the past three weeks), to … to … to … the news cycle can’t remain focused for more than five minutes on any one particular story.
But this is a scandal that deserves to be remembered, it deserves to be investigated. Carroll and the twenty-four (or twenty-three, since Ivana will never speak out against him), they deserve more from us than an indifferent shrug. How dare we look away.
Alright. Enough soapbox. Here’s what little TV stuff I could find on a holiday Friday:
Here are a lot of words about the use of swimming pools and subverting the male gaze.
The Rook will be appearing at Comic-Con for those of you who are interested.
For someone who has never served in the military, Lou Dobbs has SOME FUCKING NERVE criticizing generals who didn’t want to be politicized.
Meanwhile, it looks like the Deep State got a hold of Trump’s teleprompter yesterday.
ESPN has signed a deal to broadcast 14 American women’s pro soccer league matches for the 2019 season, which is great! And yet, the Women’s World Cup news continues to be at the bottom of the goddamned page on ESPN.com despite the fact that the final is this Sunday. I MEAN, COME ON, Y’ALL.
Older News
The Jussie Smollett mess just got stirred up again. A judge has ordered a special prosecutor to look into how the Cook County State’s Attorney’s Office handled the case and the matter could potentially be reopened. Meanwhile, the police and the state attorney’s office has released a trove of documents and evidence related to the case.
Mac had a catch with Chase Utley, yous guys.😍😍😍
James Holzhauer, the Jeopardy champ who nearly took down Ken Jennings, donated to a cancer charity in Alex Trebeck’s honor in the best possible way.
For you Bachelor fans, this is an interesting look at how the show has finally become successful at its purported goal: to create happy lasting relationships.
The Seinfeld Experience is opening up in New York this fall to celebrate the –oh my God– 30th anniversary of the show. Jesus Christ, I’m old.
Welp, here’s this:
Absolutely No One:
Andrew Dice Clay and Roseanne Barr: WE’RE GOING ON TOUR TOGETHER!
Sean Hannity’s text messages to Paul Manafort were released, and they’re hilarious.
Renewals
- I’m Sorry has been renewed for a third season at TruTV, thank goodness.
- Pose has been renewed for a third season at FX.
In Development
Older News
- Back to School is being developed into an unscripted series by MGM.
- Beauty, a docuseries produced by and starring Tyra Banks, is being developed at Quibi.
- Killer Motive has been ordered by Oxygen.
Casting News
Older News
- Meryl Streep, James Corden, Nicole Kidman, Ariana Grande, Awkwafina, Keegan-Michael Key and Andrew Rannells will star in Ryan Murphy’s adaptation of the Broadway musical The Prom for Netflix.
- Ed Asner and Alan Cumming are joining Briarpatch on USA.
- James Marsden, Amber Heard, Whoopi Goldberg, Greg Kinnear, Odessa Young, and Henry Zaga are all in negotiations to star in The Stand on CBS All Access.
- Woody Harrelson and Luke Davies will star in The Most Dangerous Man in the World. It does not have a network yet.
- Lisa Kudrow will star in the animated series Therapy Dog for Fox.
- Austin Abrams is joining Amazon’s Chemical Hearts.
- Christine Elise will join BH90210 on Fox.
- Ryan Gaul, Lauren Lapkus, and Jiavani Linayao are joining Between Two Ferns on Netflix.
Mark Your Calendar
Older News
The CW released their fall premiere dates:
Sunday, October 6
- Batwoman
- Supergirl
Monday, October 7
- All American
Tuesday, October 8
- The Flash
Wednesday, October 9
- Riverdale
- Nancy Drew
Thursday, October 10
- Supernatural
- Legacies
Friday, October 11
- Charmed
- Dynasty
Tuesday, October 15
- Arrow
Monday, October 21
- Black Lightning
NBC released their fall premiere dates:
Monday, September 23
- The Voice
- Bluff City Law
Tuesday, September 24
- This Is Us
- New Amsterdam
Wednesday, September 25
- Chicago Med
- Chicago Fire
- Chicago P.D.
Thursday, September 26
- Superstore
- Perfect Harmony
- The Good Place
- Sunnyside
- Law & Order: SVU
Friday, September 27
- Dateline NBC
Friday, October 4
- The Blacklist
Saturday, October 5
- Dateline Saturday Night Mystery
Fox released their fall premiere dates:
Sunday, September 22
- The Primetime Emmy Awards
Monday, September 23
- 9-1-1
- Prodigal Sons
Tuesday, September 24
- The Resident
- Empire
Wednesday, September 25
- The Masked Singer
Thursday, September 26
- Thursday Night Football
Sunday, September 29
- The Simpsons
- Bless the Harts
- Bob’s Burgers
- Family Guy
Wednesday, October 2
- The Masked Singer
- Almost Family
Friday, October 4
- WWE’s Smackdown Live
FX also released their fall premiere dates:
- American Horror Story: 1984 will debut on Wednesday, September 18
- Mayans MC returns on Tuesday, September 3
- Mr. Inbetween returns on Thursday, September 12
- It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia will return on Wednesday, September 25
- The Boys debuts on Amazon on July 26.
- Gordon Ramsay: Uncharted will debut on National Geographic on July 21.
- Sintonia is coming soon to Netflix.
- The CBS Evening News with Norah O’Donnell will debut on Monday, July 15.
- On Becoming a God in Central Florida will debut on Showtime on August 25.
- The UnXplained will debut on History Channel on July 19.
- The Strongest Man in History will debut on History on July 10.
R.I.P.
Older News
Judith Krantz, Novelist
Dave Bartholomew, Trumpeter, producer, arranger, songwriter, bandleader, and longtime collaborator of Fats Domino, credited with being one of the creators of Rock ‘n’ Roll.
Bernie McGee, Star of Seeking Sister Wife
WATCH THIS
FRIDAY
The Hunger Games marathon: Because. 8 a.m., Paramount Network
Idiocracy: Because. 8 p.m., Viceland
SATURDAY
Bohemian Rhapsody: The Freddie Mercury biopic that earned Remi Malek his Oscar. 7 p.m., HBO
Harry Potter marathon: It begins with Half-Blood Prince, so it’s more of a mini-marathon, but you know. 12:23 p.m., USA
SUNDAY
The World Cup Finals: Team USA faces the Netherlands in the finals. U!S!A! U!S!A! U!S!A! 10 a.m., Fox
The Movies: CNN looks at American film over the course of several decades, and begins with the 80s, for some reason. Season premiere. 8 p.m., CNN
Evel Live 2: Some idiot recreates more of Evel Knievel’s stunts. What must his mother think … 7 p.m., History
FRI. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
ABC | Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (new) |
20/20 (new) |
CBS | Hawaii Five-0 (repeat) |
Magnum P.I. (repeat) |
Blue Bloods (repeat) |
CW | Masters of Illusion (repeat) |
Masters of Illusion (repeat) |
The Big Stage (repeat) |
The Big Stage (repeat) |
Local |
FOX | First Responders Live (repeat) |
MasterChef (repeat) |
Local |
NBC | American Ninja Warrior | Dateline (new) |
—
SAT. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 | 10:00 | 10:30 | 11:00 | 11:30 |
ABC | Shark Tank (repeat) |
The Good Doctor (repeat) |
The Rookie (repeat) |
News/Local |
CBS | Million Dollar Mile (new) |
48 Hours (repeat) |
48 Hours (repeat) |
News/Local |
FOX | MLB Baseball (live) |
News/Local |
NBC | NASCAR (live) |
News/Local | Saturday Night Live (repeat) |
—
SUN. | 6:00 | 6:30 | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
ABC | America’s Funniest Home Videos (repeat) |
Celebrity Family Feud (new) |
The $100,000 Pyramid (new) |
To Tell the Truth (new) |
CBS | 60 Minutes (new) |
Big Brother (new) |
Instinct (new) |
The Good Fight (new) |
The CW | Local | Burden of Truth (new) |
Whose Line is it Anyway? (repeat) |
Whose Line is it Anyway? (repeat) |
Local |
FOX | MasterChef (repeat) |
Spin the Wheel (repeat) |
Family Guy (repeat) |
What Just Happened?! With Fred Savage (new) |
Local/News |
NBC | America’s Got Talent (repeat) |
America’s Got Talent (repeat) |
The quote from Donald’s speech: “Our Army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over airports, it did everything it had to do and at Ft. McHenry under the rocket’s red glare had nothing but victory.”
Uh, Ft. McHenry was never attacked during the Revolutionary War. That was the War of 1812.
“Manned the air?”