Saturday Night Live cut this sketch for time during James Franco’s stint a couple of weeks ago, which is a damn shame as it is better than 90% of what was in that episode. Still, I would argue that all of the Hallmark movies are some variation on that first spoof, “Yes, Santa,” which really isn’t as much a spoof as just ACTUAL FACT.
Speaking of, The Opposition‘s Josh Sharp and Aaron Jackson also shined a bright light on the whole “A Single Woman Must Find a Man by Christmas or Else Her Vagina Will Turn Into Dust” genre of Hallmark/Lifetime TV Christmas movies:
Supernatural fans are really great. I’m sure there are other TV fandoms out there that are this cohesive and generous, but I’m not coming up with any off the top of my head.
Chris Carter has been trying to tell you people for the last 25 years.
Becky is going to be Becky’s surrogate. Which just seems fitting.
Here’s a good list of international series you can binge after you’ve opened your presents and grown bored with your new toys. My only gripe is that they don’t suggest where you can watch them.
The former host of India’s Most Wanted was just sentenced for murdering his wife, yikes.
Shitty Men Don’t Take the Holidays Off
Mark Schwartz has been officially fired from The Royals.
A fifth woman has accused Danny Masterson of rape.
Ethan Kath from the band Crystal Castles has been accused of sexually assaulting multiple women.
Conductor Charles Dutoit and ballet dancer Marcelo Gomes have been cut from jobs over sexual misconduct allegations.
Disney has dubbed over Louis C.K.’s voice on Gravity Falls.
Chicago P.D. is going to have a sexual harassment episode.
Cancellations
- Graves has been canceled by Epix after two seasons.
In Development
- Here is a list of all the shows Amazon will stream in 2018. However, there are very few dates attached.
Casting News
- David Arquette is joining the pilot of comedy Memphis Fire. It’s unclear if there is a network attached, which makes me think there is not a network attached.
Mark Your Calendar
- Dave Chappelle will be dropping a SECOND New Year’s Eve special on Netflix this year, and then you can marathon Chappelle’s Show on Comedy Central all the next day if you haven’t had enough.
R.I.P.
Dick Enberg, Legendary sports announcer
WATCH THIS
FRIDAY
Bright: Will Smith stars in this original fantasy action film about a human cop who is paired with an Orc. There’s something about a wand. Netflix
Fuller House: Mid-season premiere. Netflix
I Love Lucy Christmas Special: Lucy, Ricky, Fred, and Ethel decorate the tree, and there’s something about a fashion show. 7 p.m., CBS
The Dick Van Dyke Show — Now in Living Color!: Laura bleaches her hair. Something about a painting. 8 p.m., CBS
SATURDAY
The Wizard of Oz: Because nothing says Christmas better than “flying monkeys.” 7 p.m., TNT
M*A*S*H marathon: A marathon of the show that was not about Vietnam. 4:30 p.m., Sundance Channel
SUNDAY
A Christmas Story marathon: You’ll shoot your eye out. 12 times. 7 p.m., TBS
It’s a Wonderful Life: … and dance by the light of the moon. 7 p.m., NBC
Elf: I’m boiling up a pot of spaghetti and I have the maple syrup ready. 8:15 p.m., Freeform
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Anderson Cooper, Andy Cohen, Issa Rae, Dram featuring Bigbabymom
| FRI. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Shark Tank (repeat) |
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (new) |
20/20 (repeat) |
| CBS | I Love Lucy Christmas Special (new) |
The Dick Van Dyke Show (new) |
Blue Bloods (repeat) |
| CW | Masers of Illusion | Greatest Holliday Commercials | Local |
| FOX | Hell’s Kitchen (repeat) |
Local |
| NBC | Blindspot (new) |
Dateline NBC (new) |
—
| SAT. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 | 10:00 | 10:30 | 11:00 | 11:30 |
| ABC | The Great Christmas Light Fight (repeat) |
Ten Days in the Valley (new) |
News/Local |
| CBS | NCIS: New Orleans (repeat) |
48 Hours (repeat) |
48 Hours (repeat) |
News/Local |
| FOX | The Gifted (repeat) |
Lethal Weapon (repeat) |
News/Local |
| NBC | NFL Football (live) |
News/Local | Saturday Night Live (repeat) |
—
| SUN. | 6:00 | 6:30 | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | America’s Funniest Home Videos (repeat) |
Beauty and the Beast | Shark Tank (repeat) |
| CBS | 60 Minutes (new) |
I Love Lucy Christmas Special | The Dick Van Dyke Show | Blue Bloods (repeat) |
| FOX | Football (repeat) |
The OT (repeat) |
The Simpsons (repeat) |
Ice Age | Family Guy (repeat) |
Bob’s Burgers (repeat) |
Local/News |
| NBC | Trolls | How Murray Saved Christmas | It’s a Wonderful Life |