Take a break from watching cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies to watch a James Franco-filled promo for fake cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies!

Saturday Night Live cut this sketch for time during James Franco’s stint a couple of weeks ago, which is a damn shame as it is better than 90% of what was in that episode. Still, I would argue that all of the Hallmark movies are some variation on that first spoof, “Yes, Santa,” which really isn’t as much a spoof as just ACTUAL FACT.

Speaking of, The Opposition‘s Josh Sharp and Aaron Jackson also shined a bright light on the whole “A Single Woman Must Find a Man by Christmas or Else Her Vagina Will Turn Into Dust” genre of Hallmark/Lifetime TV Christmas movies:

Looking for something to play on the TV during the holidays that isn’t a sexist pile of hot garbage? How about puppies? Everybody loves puppies!

Supernatural fans are really great. I’m sure there are other TV fandoms out there that are this cohesive and generous, but I’m not coming up with any off the top of my head.

Chris Carter has been trying to tell you people for the last 25 years.

Becky is going to be Becky’s surrogate. Which just seems fitting.

Here’s a good list of international series you can binge after you’ve opened your presents and grown bored with your new toys. My only gripe is that they don’t suggest where you can watch them.

The former host of India’s Most Wanted was just sentenced for murdering his wife, yikes.

Shitty Men Don’t Take the Holidays Off

Mark Schwartz has been officially fired from The Royals.

A fifth woman has accused Danny Masterson of rape.

Ethan Kath from the band Crystal Castles has been accused of sexually assaulting multiple women.

Conductor Charles Dutoit and ballet dancer Marcelo Gomes have been cut from jobs over sexual misconduct allegations.

Disney has dubbed over Louis C.K.’s voice on Gravity Falls.

Chicago P.D. is going to have a sexual harassment episode.

Cancellations

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

R.I.P.

Dick Enberg, Legendary sports announcer

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Bright: Will Smith stars in this original fantasy action film about a human cop who is paired with an Orc. There’s something about a wand. Netflix

Fuller House: Mid-season premiere. Netflix

I Love Lucy Christmas Special: Lucy, Ricky, Fred, and Ethel decorate the tree, and there’s something about a fashion show. 7 p.m., CBS

The Dick Van Dyke Show — Now in Living Color!: Laura bleaches her hair. Something about a painting. 8 p.m., CBS

SATURDAY

The Wizard of Oz: Because nothing says Christmas better than “flying monkeys.” 7 p.m., TNT

M*A*S*H marathon: A marathon of the show that was not about Vietnam. 4:30 p.m., Sundance Channel

SUNDAY

A Christmas Story marathon: You’ll shoot your eye out. 12 times. 7 p.m., TBS

It’s a Wonderful Life: … and dance by the light of the moon. 7 p.m., NBC

Elf: I’m boiling up a pot of spaghetti and I have the maple syrup ready. 8:15 p.m., Freeform

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Anderson Cooper, Andy Cohen, Issa Rae, Dram featuring Bigbabymom

 

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Shark Tank
(repeat)
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
(new)
20/20
(repeat)
CBS I Love Lucy Christmas Special
(new)
The Dick Van Dyke Show
(new)
Blue Bloods
(repeat)
CW Masers of Illusion Greatest Holliday Commercials Local
FOX Hell’s Kitchen
(repeat)
Local
NBC Blindspot
(new)
Dateline NBC
(new)

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC The Great Christmas Light Fight
(repeat)
Ten Days in the Valley
(new)
News/Local
CBS NCIS: New Orleans
(repeat)
48 Hours
(repeat)
48 Hours
(repeat)
News/Local
FOX The Gifted
(repeat)
Lethal Weapon
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC NFL Football
(live)
News/Local Saturday Night Live
(repeat)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(repeat)
Beauty and the Beast Shark Tank
(repeat)
CBS 60 Minutes
(new)
I Love Lucy Christmas Special The Dick Van Dyke Show Blue Bloods
(repeat)
FOX Football
(repeat)
The OT
(repeat)
The Simpsons
(repeat)
Ice Age Family Guy
(repeat)
Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
Local/News
NBC Trolls How Murray Saved Christmas It’s a Wonderful Life
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