I promise, this will be the single best 33 seconds of your day.
And Louis C.K. calls Trump a “gross crook dirty rotten lying sack of shit.” He’s not wrong.
Trevor Noah determines who the real president is (for today).
And Seth Meyers is not allowed to tell these jokes.
In Other TV News
On the topic of late night, Stephen Colbert is trying to redefine what a rerun is.
The Handmaid’s Tale just released a new protest poster. Maybe if they’d just offer the men who own them a Pepsi?
Katey Sagal called Married with Children misogynistic. Oh, ya think?
Damon Lindelof has promised that the ending of The Leftovers leaves nothing for a spinoff. So don’t be looking for that wacky sitcom, “That’s My Guilty Remnant!” anytime soon.
True fact: If you’re a hateful bigot, you don’t get to be a fan of Star Trek. Sorry, but not at all sorry.
Feud: The Rock and Vin Deisel. For it. Totally for it.
The Defenders teaser released yesterday contained a clue that leads to a bunch of easter eggs. Enjoy!
Scheana’s new boyfriend wants nothing to do with Vanderpump Rules, which makes him very smart, so what is he doing with her?
Sling users will now have access to Showtime. And AT&T wants to offer HBO for free to their Unlimited Plus customers. (But, as of yet does not, so don’t get too excited.)
In Trump TV news
Donald Trump doesn’t think Bill O’Reilly did anything wrong. Someone fetch me my smelling salts.
Reportedly, Trump wanted to give Fox News exclusive rights to the inaugural. But … but that’s not how … that’s not how it works?
In an interview, Ivanka Trump claims she doesn’t know what “complicit” means, but the dictionary is here to help. She also says that her new White House job holds her to the highest ethical standards, while her idiot brother is busily saying that nepotism is just a “factor of life.” These fucking people, man.
Master of None, Netflix, May 12
Anne, Netflix, May 12
I Am Heath Ledger, Spike, May 14
- Squirrel Girl is finally coming to television in the series, New Warriors on Freeform, and people are SO EXCITED ABOUT IT.
- A That’s So Raven spinoff has been ordered by the Disney Channel
- Stephen King’s upcoming novel with his son Owen, Sleeping Beauties is already being developed into a series.
- An Invader Zim movie has been ordered by Nickelodeon.
- Freeform has named its Iliza Shlesinger late night series: Truth & Iliza.
- Amazon has set K-POP: The Search for the Next K-POP Superstar.
- E! added Daily Pop, a new entertainment news series.
- Flip or Flop will only run for five episodes in this final season.
- Amazon scored the streaming rights to Thursday Night Football.
- Lemony Snicket has been renewed for a third season on Netflix.
- Brockmire has already been renewed for a second season on IFC.
- Colony has been renewed for a third season by USA.
- Million Dollar Matchmaker has been renewed for a second season on We.
- Kelly Macdonald will co-star with Benedict Cumberbatch in the BBC drama, The Child in Time.
- Enrico Colantoni (Veronica Mars), Stephen Lobo and Amanda Tapping are joining the cast of Travelers for the second season.
- Osric Chau has been upped to series regular on Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency.
Joe Harris, illustrator of Underdog and Trix the Rabbit.
The Real Housewives of New York City: Oh joy, this is back. Season premiere. 8 p.m., Bravo
Archer: Archer discovers who killed his partner in the season premiere. 8 p.m., FXX
Modern Family: It’s a Dunphy family wedding! 8 p.m., ABC
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Dwayne Johnson, Nicole Richie, Flo Rida featuring 99 Percent Late Night with Seth Meyers: Rashida Jones, Andrew Rannells, Alan Dershowitz, Jonathan Mover The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Sigourney Weaver, Zosia Mamet, Jon Favreau, Jon Lovett, Tommy Vietor, a special appearance by Steve Martin The Late Late Show with James Corden: Demi Lovato, Charlie Hunnam, Rupert Friend Jimmy Kimmel Live: Eric Stonestreet, Riz Ahmed, Cold War Kids The Daily Show: Michelle Rodriguez Watch What Happens Live: Bethenny Frankel
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