‘The Walking Dead’: We’re not that different, you and I

The Walking Dead
“Arrow on the Doorpost”
March 10, 2013

Hershel, Daryl and Rick arrive … someplace, a farm? Let’s just say they are at some abandoned farm They are at an abandoned feed store according to a Walking Dead wiki, and since I know nothing about farms nor feed stores, we will just go with that. They arrive at an abandoned feed store armed to the teeth and looking nervous. Rick goes inside the building alone, leaving Daryl and Hersh to stand guard — because who better to serve as a guard for you than an elderly amputee — and finds The Governor waiting for him. The Governor removes his weapon and urges Rick to do the same, before sitting down to a table with a gun taped underneath. Because like Bel Biv Devoe sagely said, “Never trust a one eye and a smile.” (They never said that.)

Andrea comes stomping in, but everyone ignores her because OH BROTHER. Rick tells The Governor that he’s heard all about the raids and the aquariums full of heads and Maggie. And Andrea is like, “Do what with Maggie now?” Rick hands The Governor a map and suggest that they split up the territory and leave each other alone, but The Governor just laughs and laughs because HA. And then The Governor sends Andrea away. GO AWAY, ANDREA. YOU AREN’T NEEDED HERE, ANDREA.

The Governor and Rick yammer for a while about personal responsibility, and when The Governor tries to blame Merle for the whole Glenn/Maggie thing, Rick is like, O RLY? Rick informs The Governor that he is not a “governor,” he’s nothing more than a nuisance to him, the town drunk knocking over fences, and The Governor is all O RLY? Are you even the father of The Baby? Which, wait, what? And then The Governor pulls out a bottle of whisky to prove Rick’s earlier point about being the town drunk. Cheers!

The Governor explains to Rick that he can’t just leave Team Prison alone because that will make him look weak to his people, and Rick’s like, “That sounds like a Governor problem, and not a Rick problem to me.” The Governor then tells Rick about the day his wife died in a car accident and Rick makes the sadface because: Lori. I guess. I don’t know.

So The Governor cuts to the chase: Team Woodbury has more people; Team Prison has more experience. If they go to war no one will win. All The Governor wants is one thing to make all this ugliness go away: Michonne. What’s the big deal? Just one little Michonne! To illustrate his point, The Governor lifts his patch, revealing that nasty empty socket of his. Is she really worth all those other lives? But really, though?

Rick wonders why The Governor would waste his time on a petty vendetta, and The Governor is like, SHUT UP, before stalking off with a warning that Rick has 2 days to consider his terms. FINAL OFFER.

While the menfolk talked inside, outside of the feed store, Hershel and Daryl meet Poindexter and Minion, and everyone bonds over shared interests: walker killing, amputation stories, cigarettes, keeping a record of their history for some mythical future. Funtimes. Andrea gets an opportunity to ask Hershel what happened to Maggie, and he’s like, “Oh, girl, do not even get me started.” Andrea then wrings her hands over whether or not to rejoin Team Prison, but once the negotiations are over, she gets into The Governor’s truck because of course she does. She’s terrible.

Back at the prison, Merle suggests to the group that they go ambush The Governor since they know where he is and everything. When everyone balks, Merle snips that if they don’t do something, Rick will soon be Ned Starked and everyone is like, HEY, DON’T SAY THAT IN FRONT OF THE KID, UNCOOL. Glenn then vetoes Merle’s suggestion because shut up, Merle.

So Merle decides to head out on his own, and Glenn tries to stop him. Fight fight struggle fight and Sister finally ends the tomfoolery by shooting a single shot into the ceiling, thus giving her something to do this episode.

Out of options, Merle approaches Michonne and suggests that the two of them go do what needs doing, and take The Governor out once and for all, but Michonne is like, “Yeah, but here’s the thing: no.”

Meanwhile, Maggie finds Glenn out on watch/pouting duty, and he apologizes for being such a jerkface lately. Maggie rewards him by making the sexytimes. Because nothing is more romantic than making love on a concrete prison floor while a chorus of walkers moan nearby. HOTTTTTT.

Back at Woodbury, The Governor instructs his people that when the time comes they are to surround the feed store and kill everyone — with the exception of Michonne. Poindexter is all, “But I thought you made a deal!” And The Governor is like, “Shut up, Poindexter.” The Governor then tells Andrea that he and Rick set terms, but urges her not to worry her pretty head about what, exactly, those terms were.

Rick, Hershel and Daryl return to the prison where Rick announces to his group that his negotiations with The Governor didn’t exactly pan out and long story short: they’re going to war. Merle spits that Rick should have killed The Governor when he had the chance and Merle is not wrong.

Rick goes outside to look for some things, stuff, and is joined by Hershel to whom he tells the truth: actually, The Governor wants Michonne. And what if it’s that easy? I mean, chances are The Governor is going to kill them all anyway, but what if there’s a slight chance he won’t if they just hand her over? Hershel is like, UH BECAUSE SHE SAVED YOUR SON’S LIFE AND MY LIFE AND TOLD US ABOUT GLENN AND MAGGIE, THAT’S WHY. Yeah, but is she worth sacrificing Maggie and Sister? Hershel wonders why Rick is telling him this, and Rick explains that he’s hoping Hershel will talk him out of handing her over. GO TAKE A SHOWER, RICK. GO TAKE A SHOWER AND LIE DOWN AND QUIT THINKING ABOUT GIVING UP ONE OF YOUR ONLY FRIENDS IN THIS WORLD. SHEESH.

The Walking Dead airs Sunday nights at 8 p.m. on AMC.

This post originally appeared on the Hearst site Chron.com.


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