Charlie is innocent. I will not be taking any more questions at this time.
@simonbrubaker That time I left Charlie alone with a pastry for one millisecond #bordercollie #dog #dogsoftiktok #guiltydog #dogs #doglover
Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News
What — and I can not stress this enough — the fuck?
Let’s read a little about this imagined series:
Per the Daily Mail, the pitch suggests Colombian-born Sofia Vergara, Canadian-born Ryan Reynolds, and Ukrainian-born Mila Kunis as potential hosts. None of those names are connected to the project in any official capacity.
The contestants would then travel around the country on a train (called “The American”) and meet with Americans from different states to learn about their various lifestyles and customs. The players would then compete in “cultural” contests specific to each region.
Suggestions in the pitch include panning for gold in San Francisco, balancing on logs in Wisconsin, building and launching a rocket at Cape Canaveral, rafting in Colorado, clam-digging in Maine, assembling a Model-T Ford in Detroit, and delivering mail on horseback in Kansas.
“We’ll join in the laughter, tears, frustration, and joy — hearing their backstories — as we are reminded how amazing it is to be American,” Worsoff writes in the pitch.
Eliminated contestants will leave with “iconically American” prizes, such as a $10,000 Starbucks gift card, a million American Airlines points, and a lifetime supply of 76 gasoline. As with the celebrities, none of these companies are officially connected to the project.
In the end, the winner of the show will arrive at the steps of the U.S. Capitol Building, where they’ll be sworn in as an American citizen by “a top American politician or judge.”
I just … I just don’t even know where to begin with this. The hosts? You guys really think Ryan Reynolds would be associated with this? Good luck with that, guys! The competitions themselves? HOW DOES BUILDING A CAR THAT HAS NOT BEEN MANUFACTURED IN THIS COUNTRY IN 100 YEARS MAKE SOMEONE MORE AMERICAN? And then what happens to the eliminated contestants? Will they be able to use that Starbucks gift card in the El Salvadorian gulag they are sent off to?
Frankly, the only reality TV competition I would like to see related to citizenship would be a live broadcast of our current President taking the naturalization test.
Anyway, this is pure Running Man/Hunger Games/fascist bullshit, and completely on-brand for this reality show adminstration.
This is very insider business-y stuff, but this is a look at how at the networks, the 7/8 p.m. spot continues to be successful for them, but that the 9/10 p.m. spot, which used to be a reliable spot to put your big prestige drama series, is drying up, and they are considering giving the spot up to the local stations. I wonder if it has to do with the dramatic aging of the network audience — I know for myself, I often struggle to stay awake through the 9 p.m. hour on a good night, and I’m younger than the average network viewer these days.
Hey, Bachelor/ette folks: y’all remember Peter Kraus? The guy who broke Rachel Lindsay’s heart? He has a very interesting story about almost becoming the Bachelor and the way the producers dicked him around before eventually disappearing him from “Bachelor Nation” altogether. (It’s for the best, Peter.)
Michelle Obama, she’s just like us!
We almost lost Sawyer to the world of real estate.
Taran Killam sounds kinda exhausting.
Working at Saturday Night Live sounds kinda exhausting.
This article about how Law & Order shows aren’t realistic is so sweet. Are you just now learning that crimes take longer than a week to solve or that one police precinct wouldn’t have jurisdiction over an entire city or that DAs don’t take every case to trial? It’s almost as though the television format has to take some liberties to tell certain stories!
Renewals
- 20/20 has been renewed for a 48th season on ABC.
- The Voice has been renewed for a 28th season on NBC.
Cancellations
- Power Book III: Raising Kanan will end with season five on Starz.
In Development
- CeaseFire, a weekly political talk show, has been ordered at C-SPAN.
- Cat Fight is being adapted into a TV series.
Casting News
- Ryan Kiera Armstrong is the new Slayer in the Buffy reboot.
- Michael J. Fox is joining Shrinking on Apple TV+.
- Kelli Giddish is returning to Law & Order: SVU on NBC.
- James Van Der Beek is joining Elle on Prime Video.
- Shameik Moore has joined Power Book II: Raising Kanan on Starz.
- Lady Gaga will make an appearance at the Netflix Tudum event.
- Leah Mckendrick, Zoey Deutch, and Nick Robinson have been cast in Voicemails for Isabelle at Netflix.
- YDE will perform on “The Nurses’ Ball” on General Hospital on ABC.
- Mark Cuban is leaving Shark Tank on ABC in tonight’s finale.
Mark Your Calendar
- Task will premiere on HBO in September.
- Rick and Morty will return on Adult Swim on July 27.
- The Snake debuts on Fox on June 10.
- Cleaner begins streaming on Max on June 13.
- A live performance of the Broadway play Good Night, and Good Luck starring George Clooney will air on CNN on June 7. It will be the first time a Broadway play is broadcast live.
- America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders returns on Netflix on June 18.
- 90 Minutes premieres on Peacock on May 22.
- Hey Beautiful: Anatomy of a Romance Scam will premiere on Hulu on May 20.
R.I.P.
Charles Strouse, Tony-winning composer who wrote the theme song for All in the Family, the songbooks for Annie and Bye Bye Birdie, the score for Bonnie & Clyde and many other Broadway shows and films
Jane Bright, Contestant on Survivor, season 21
WATCH THIS
FRIDAY
Grosse Pointe Garden Society: Suspicions mount in the season finale. 7 p.m., NBC
Shark Tank: Season finale. 7 p.m., ABC
S.W.A.T.: A violent group of Russian mercenaries takes Los Angeles hostage in the two-hour series finale. 9 p.m., CBS
Murderbot: Alexander Skarsgård stars in this new sci-fi series as a self-hacking droid who is horrified but drawn to human emotion, who must complete a dangerous mission while hiding that it has free will. Series premiere. Apple TV+
The Brutalist: It’s almost as long as the Oscar speech Adrian Brody gave after winning for his performance. Streaming premiere. Paramount+
The Chi: DO YOU THINK THEY’RE GOING TO HAVE A POPE EPISODE? Season premiere. Paramount+
SATURDAY
Saturday Night Live: Scarlett Johansson and Bad Bunny. Season finale. 10:30 p.m., NBC
Eurovision Song Contest: A WINNER IS CHOSEN. Peacock
I Was Honey Boo Boo: Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson narrates this film based on her life story as a toddler pageant queen and reality star. 7 p.m., Lifetime
SUNDAY
America’s Funniest Home Videos: Season finale. 6 p.m., ABC
American Idol: A winner is chosen in the bloated three-hour finale. 7 p.m., ABC
The Simpsons: Bart and Lisa stop watching “Itchy & Scratchy” together. Season finale. 7 p.m., Fox
Suits LA: Series finale. 8 p.m., NBC
Krapopolis: Ty is tired of his family not thinking he’s important. Season finale. 8 p.m., Fox
Tucci in Italy: Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy may have been canceled by those fools at CNN, but that’s OK, because National Geographic knows a winning formula when it sees one. Series premiere. 7 p.m., National Geographic, streaming on Disney+ and Hulu on Monday, the 19th
| FRI. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Shark Tank (new) |
20/20 |
| CBS | The Greatest #AtHome Videos (new) |
S.W.A.T. (new) |
S.W.A.T. (new) |
| CW | Penn & Teller: Fool Us (repeat) |
Masters of Illusion (repeat) |
Local |
| FOX | United Football League | Local |
| NBC | Grosse Point Garden Society (new) |
Dateline |
—
| SAT. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 | 10:00 | 10:30 | 11:00 | 11:30 |
| ABC | Stanley Cup Playoff (live) |
News/Local |
| CBS | FBI: Most Wanted (repeat) |
48 Hours | 48 Hours | News/Local |
| FOX | MLB Baseball (live) |
News/Local |
| NBC | Yes, Chef! (repeat) |
Dateline (repeat) |
Saturday Night Live (repeat) |
News/ Local |
Saturday Night Live (Scarlett Johansson and Bad Bunny) |
—
| SUN. | 6:00 | 6:30 | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | America’s Funniest Home Videos (new) |
American Idol (new) |
| CBS | 60 Minutes | 60 Minutes | Tracker (repeat) |
Watson (repeat) |
| The CW | Whose Line is it Anyway? (repeat) |
Whose Line is it Anyway? (repeat) |
Clueless | Local/News |
| FOX | Next Level Chef (repeat) |
The Simp-sons (new) |
Family Guy (new) |
Krap-opolis (new) |
Bob’s Burgers (new) |
Local/News |
| NBC | The Voice (repeat) |
Suits LA (new) |
Dateline NBC (new) |
I see Clueless is listed for Sunday but there’s no info or link. Is this the Alicia Silverstone movie or a documentary on the current administration? Oh, and for that Hunger Games rip off, I can almost see Christy Noem as Effie Trinket but who would Donald play? Snow? Flickerman? Tribute?