In which the administration is considering going full ‘Hunger Games’ with a new reality TV show, because of course they are

by Therese Odell, posted in watch this

Charlie is innocent. I will not be taking any more questions at this time. 

@simonbrubaker

That time I left Charlie alone with a pastry for one millisecond #bordercollie #dog #dogsoftiktok #guiltydog #dogs #doglover

♬ original sound – Simon Brubaker

Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News

Well, this seemed completely inevitable. According to The Daily Mail, Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem is allegedly working with the Duck Dynasty producers on a reality competition series called “The American,” in which immigrants would compete in challenges to be fast-tracked on their way to becoming a citizen.

What — and I can not stress this enough — the fuck?

Let’s read a little about this imagined series:

Per the Daily Mail, the pitch suggests Colombian-born Sofia Vergara, Canadian-born Ryan Reynolds, and Ukrainian-born Mila Kunis as potential hosts. None of those names are connected to the project in any official capacity.

The contestants would then travel around the country on a train (called “The American”) and meet with Americans from different states to learn about their various lifestyles and customs. The players would then compete in “cultural” contests specific to each region.

Suggestions in the pitch include panning for gold in San Francisco, balancing on logs in Wisconsin, building and launching a rocket at Cape Canaveral, rafting in Colorado, clam-digging in Maine, assembling a Model-T Ford in Detroit, and delivering mail on horseback in Kansas.

“We’ll join in the laughter, tears, frustration, and joy — hearing their backstories — as we are reminded how amazing it is to be American,” Worsoff writes in the pitch.

Eliminated contestants will leave with “iconically American” prizes, such as a $10,000 Starbucks gift card, a million American Airlines points, and a lifetime supply of 76 gasoline. As with the celebrities, none of these companies are officially connected to the project.

In the end, the winner of the show will arrive at the steps of the U.S. Capitol Building, where they’ll be sworn in as an American citizen by “a top American politician or judge.”

I just … I just don’t even know where to begin with this. The hosts? You guys really think Ryan Reynolds would be associated with this? Good luck with that, guys! The competitions themselves? HOW DOES BUILDING A CAR THAT HAS NOT BEEN MANUFACTURED IN THIS COUNTRY IN 100 YEARS MAKE SOMEONE MORE AMERICAN? And then what happens to the eliminated contestants? Will they be able to use that Starbucks gift card in the El Salvadorian gulag they are sent off to?

Frankly, the only reality TV competition I would like to see related to citizenship would be a live broadcast of our current President taking the naturalization test.

Anyway, this is pure Running Man/Hunger Games/fascist bullshit, and completely on-brand for this reality show adminstration.

This is very insider business-y stuff, but this is a look at how at the networks, the 7/8 p.m. spot continues to be successful for them, but that the 9/10 p.m. spot, which used to be a reliable spot to put your big prestige drama series, is drying up, and they are considering giving the spot up to the local stations. I wonder if it has to do with the dramatic aging of the network audience — I know for myself, I often struggle to stay awake through the 9 p.m. hour on a good night, and I’m younger than the average network viewer these days.

Hey, Bachelor/ette folks: y’all remember Peter Kraus? The guy who broke Rachel Lindsay’s heart? He has a very interesting story about almost becoming the Bachelor and the way the producers dicked him around before eventually disappearing him from “Bachelor Nation” altogether. (It’s for the best, Peter.)

Michelle Obama, she’s just like us!

We almost lost Sawyer to the world of real estate.

Taran Killam sounds kinda exhausting.

Working at Saturday Night Live sounds kinda exhausting.

This article about how Law & Order shows aren’t realistic is so sweet. Are you just now learning that crimes take longer than a week to solve or that one police precinct wouldn’t have jurisdiction over an entire city or that DAs don’t take every case to trial? It’s almost as though the television format has to take some liberties to tell certain stories!

This is just a very good (and possibly overly deep) piece about the weird need for some people to fabricate elaborate conspiracies over celebrity relationships (specifically Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner).

Get well soon, Jim Ross.

Renewals

  • 20/20 has been renewed for a 48th season on ABC.
  • The Voice has been renewed for a 28th season on NBC.

Cancellations

In Development

  • CeaseFire, a weekly political talk show, has been ordered at C-SPAN.
  • Cat Fight is being adapted into a TV series.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Task will premiere on HBO in September.
  • Rick and Morty will return on Adult Swim on July 27.
  • The Snake debuts on Fox on June 10.
  • Cleaner begins streaming on Max on June 13.

R.I.P.

Charles Strouse, Tony-winning composer who wrote the theme song for All in the Family, the songbooks for Annie and Bye Bye Birdie, the score for Bonnie & Clyde and many other Broadway shows and films

Jane Bright, Contestant on Survivor, season 21

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Grosse Pointe Garden Society: Suspicions mount in the season finale. 7 p.m., NBC

Shark Tank: Season finale. 7 p.m., ABC

S.W.A.T.: A violent group of Russian mercenaries takes Los Angeles hostage in the two-hour series finale. 9 p.m., CBS

Murderbot: Alexander Skarsgård stars in this new sci-fi series as a self-hacking droid who is horrified but drawn to human emotion, who must complete a dangerous mission while hiding that it has free will. Series premiere.  Apple TV+

The Brutalist: It’s almost as long as the Oscar speech Adrian Brody gave after winning for his performance. Streaming premiere. Paramount+

The Chi: DO YOU THINK THEY’RE GOING TO HAVE A POPE EPISODE? Season premiere. Paramount+

SATURDAY

Saturday Night Live: Scarlett Johansson and Bad Bunny. Season finale. 10:30 p.m., NBC

Eurovision Song Contest: A WINNER IS CHOSEN. Peacock

I Was Honey Boo Boo: Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson narrates this film based on her life story as a toddler pageant queen and reality star.  7 p.m., Lifetime

SUNDAY

America’s Funniest Home Videos: Season finale. 6 p.m., ABC

American Idol: A winner is chosen in the bloated three-hour finale. 7 p.m., ABC

The Simpsons: Bart and Lisa stop watching “Itchy & Scratchy” together. Season finale. 7 p.m., Fox

Suits LA: Series finale. 8 p.m., NBC

Krapopolis: Ty is tired of his family not thinking he’s important. Season finale. 8 p.m., Fox

Tucci in Italy: Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy may have been canceled by those fools at CNN, but that’s OK, because National Geographic knows a winning formula when it sees one. Series premiere. 7 p.m., National Geographic, streaming on Disney+ and Hulu on Monday, the 19th

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Shark Tank
(new)		 20/20
CBS The Greatest #AtHome Videos
(new)		 S.W.A.T.
(new)		 S.W.A.T.
(new)
CW Penn & Teller: Fool Us
(repeat)		 Masters of Illusion
(repeat)		 Local
FOX United Football League Local
NBC Grosse Point Garden Society
(new)		 Dateline

—

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC Stanley Cup Playoff
(live)		 News/Local
CBS FBI: Most Wanted
(repeat)		 48 Hours 48 Hours News/Local
FOX MLB Baseball
(live)		 News/Local
NBC Yes, Chef!
(repeat)		 Dateline
(repeat)		 Saturday Night Live
(repeat)		 News/
Local		 Saturday Night Live
(Scarlett Johansson and Bad Bunny)

—

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)		 American Idol
(new)
CBS 60 Minutes 60 Minutes Tracker
(repeat)		 Watson
(repeat)
The CW Whose Line is it Anyway?
(repeat)		 Whose Line is it Anyway?
(repeat)		 Clueless Local/News
FOX Next Level Chef
(repeat)		 The Simp-sons
(new)		 Family Guy
(new)		 Krap-opolis
(new)		 Bob’s Burgers
(new)		 Local/News
NBC The Voice
(repeat)		 Suits LA
(new)		 Dateline NBC
(new)

One thought on “In which the administration is considering going full ‘Hunger Games’ with a new reality TV show, because of course they are”

  1. I see Clueless is listed for Sunday but there’s no info or link. Is this the Alicia Silverstone movie or a documentary on the current administration? Oh, and for that Hunger Games rip off, I can almost see Christy Noem as Effie Trinket but who would Donald play? Snow? Flickerman? Tribute?

    Reply

Leave a Reply