MONDAY
Claim to Fame: Two hour finale and I swear to God if these people don’t figure out that Chris is [SPOILER REDACTED]’s son, I’m going to start screaming and never stop. 7 p.m., ABC
Stars on Mars: The final three compete in a “double-phase” mission. I have no idea what is going on in this show — like, is there a prize they will win for outlasting the other minor celebrities? Are they playing for money for charity or something? OR … are the eliminated celebrities shot out into space? Because that’s a show I would watch. Season finale. 7 p.m., Fox
Miracle Workers: The final battle. Series finale. 9 p.m., TBS
TUESDAY
Justified: City Primeval: Raylan attempts to make it out of Detroit alive in the season finale. 9 p.m., FX
Mysteries of the Abandoned: The second season premiere focuses on New Orleans’ Charity Hospital on the 18th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, and the story of the heroism of the hospital’s staff in the five days following the hurricane. 9 p.m., Discovery
John Wick marathon: Don’t mess with a man’s puppy. 4:45 p.m., AMC
WEDNESDAY
Heart of Invictus: Harry and Meghan’s newest Netflix project follows six people as they compete in the Invictus Games. Premiere. Netflix
Archer: Season premiere. 9 p.m., FXX
Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zone: Author Dan Buettner travels around the world to visit com Netflix
THURSDAY
One Piece: A live-action adaptation of the popular pirate adventure anime. Series premiere. Netflix
Adventure Time: Fiona & Cake: The fearless Fiona and her cat Cake explore the mysterious land of Ooo in this new series. Series premiere. Max
What We Do in the Shadows: The vampires search for Guillermo in the season finale 9 p.m., FX
Choose Love: It’s Netflix’s first interactive rom-com, in which the main character has to choose between three men, and you do the deciding for her. Premiere. Netflix
FRIDAY
The Wheel of Time: Season two. Prime Video
Love is Blind: After the Altar: Time to check back in on our season four folks. Premiere. Netflix
Disenchantment: Fifth and final season. Netflix
How to With John Wilson: The quirky documentary series comes to a close with an instruction on how to track your packages. (But of course, it’s so much more than that.) I will miss this series. Series finale. 10 p.m., HBO
Power Book IV: Force: Tommy makes moves to avenge Liliana’s death. 7 p.m., Starz
Family Law: Abby is torn between her family and a lucrative offer in the two hour season finale. 8 p.m., The CW
SATURDAY
College Football: Today is just about college football, all the way down. I guess the season has officially begun. 6:30 p.m., NBC, ABC, CBS and all over the sports channels
Sliding Doors: Before Netflix was out here creating interactive ro-coms, we had Sliding Doors. 6 p.m., HBO Family
SUNDAY
Is She the Wolf?: In this dating show from Japan, hidden among the female contestants is one woman who is forbidden (by who? I don’t know) to fall in love. So sorta like FBoy Island, but also not. Netflix
Special Ops: Lionness: Season one finale. Paramount+
100% with you on the Claim to Fame dumbies. HE LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM!