MONDAY
Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve with Ryan Seacrest: The classic way to spend New Year’s Eve. Seacrest will ring in 2019 with a performance by Christina Aguilera. Part 1: 7 p.m., Part 2: 9 p.m., ABC
New Year’s Eve with Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen: Daddy New Year’s. 7 p.m., CNN
A Toast to 2018!: The “highlights” of 2018. Get out of here, 2018. 7 p.m., NBC
Fox’s New Year’s Eve with Steve Harvey: Sting, Robin Thicke, Florence + the Machine, and Jason Aldean will perform. 7 p.m., & 10 p.m., Fox
NBC’s New Year’s Eve: Carson Daly and Chrissy Teigen don’t even get their names in the title? What bullshit is that? 10:30 p.m., NBC
TUESDAY
A Series of Unfortunate Events: The third and final season of the dark children’s series is here. Netflix
Tidying Up with Marie Kondo: HERE TO MAKE YOU CLEAN YOUR DAMN HOUSE AND CRY. Season premiere. Netflix
Doctor Who New Year’s Day Special: This is what happens when the Doctor is a lady: no more Christmas specials, only New Year’s Day specials. 7 p.m., BBC America
All of the College Football: bllllleeeeeaaaaaaaaah 1 p.m., 4 p.m., 7:45 p.m., ESPN
Rose Bowl Parade: Flowers. 10 a.m., ABC & NBC
Lethal Weapon: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
The Gifted: Mid-season premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
WEDNESDAY
The Masked Singer: This show looks bonkers. Celebrities dress in weird costumes and sing something and then other celebrities try to guess who they are? I don’t even know but those costumes are nightmare fodder. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
grown-ish: Season two premiere. 7 p.m., Freeform
Gordon Ramsay’s 24 Hours to Hell and Back: Season two premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
Project Runway All Stars: If I’m not mistaken, this will be Project Runway‘s last hurrah on Lifetime before it returns to Bravo. Now I am wondering if Bravo will do All Stars? This is being described as All Stars “final season” so, I don’t know? 8 p.m., Lifetime
SEAL Team: Mid-season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS
Criminal Minds: Mid-season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS
THURSDAY
Gotham: The rise of the Dark Knight begins in the final season. 7 p.m., Fox
The Big Bang Theory: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS
Young Sheldon: Mid-season premiere. 7:30 p.m., CBS
The Last Days of JFK Jr.: According to some crazy people, JFK Jr. isn’t dead, so this is just all an exercise in nonsense. 8 p.m., ABC
Surviving R. Kelly: A six-part documentary about that monster, R. Kelly. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Lifetime
The Blacklist: Liz and her sister investigate the night the real Raymond Remington died. Season premiere. 9 p.m., NBC
S.W.A.T.: Mid-season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS
The Titan Games: The Rock hosts this new reality show in which “hard work and determination” are rewarded. OK. 7 p.m., NBC
FRIDAY
Fresh Off the Boat: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., ABC
Last Man Standing: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
MacGyver: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS
The Cool Kids: Mid-season premiere. 7:30 p.m., Fox
Speechless: Mid-season premiere. 7:30 p.m., ABC
Hawaii Five-0: Mid-season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS
Blue Bloods: Mid-season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS
SATURDAY
Super Troopers 2: I’m not sure that they needed to make a sequel to Super Troopers, but here we are. 7p.m., HBO
Tootsie: I’m actually curious how this holds up in today’s environment. If I remember correctly, there are plenty of #MeToo parallels in this classic. (Which, if you think about it, is kinda depressing that things haven’t improved in nearly forty years. 5 p.m., Showtime Women
SUNDAY
The 2019 Golden Globes: Oh hey! The dumbest awards are here! 7 p.m., NBC
The Golden Globes red carpet: They begin at 5 on E! and at 6 on NBC.If that’s your thing.
God Friended Me: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS
The Simpsons: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
Bob’s Burgers: Mid-season premiere. 7:30 p.m., Fox
Family Guy: Mid-season premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
NCIS: Los Angeles: Mid-season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS
Madam Secretary: Mid-season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS
I saw Tootsie again a few months ago, and it depressed me. It reminded me of an interview with Hoffman where he discussed getting gussied up as the character in order to pitch the film. He saw himself in the mirror and insisted they make him prettier. When they said that was as pretty as he was going to get, he was struck with the realization that he wouldn’t have given a woman who looked like that the time of day and how ridiculous that was – to silence those stories and that voice because it wasn’t coming from a swimsuit model. And then, of course, Hoffman has his own #metoo ghosts now, huh? This film is still classic and entertaining…. if you can ignore that it’s one big mansplaining event and exercise in white male privilege rolled together.